I got a call yesterday from my friend, C, saying he and his wife, J, are getting divorced. I was totally in shock. I'm actually friends with both of them. J & I worked together and when we started hanging out it was always the two of them and me (back when I was single). So I've known them both for 9 years and I am equally close to both of them. Apparently she has been cheating on him with his friend of 20 years (!!!) who was living with them for about a year because he was in some financial trouble. They were nice enough to take him in and C thinks she started falling for the guy a year ago. I'm so sad! They have been together for 12 years, married for 3, no children (thank goodness). But they are both so fun and I've always loved hanging out with them. I just can't believe it. I had no idea they were even having problems.
I plan to stay friend with both of them and not take sides, but I do think it sucks that she cheated, even if C was a total a$$hole, which he isn't. I'm just really sad about the whole situation. ![]()
Re: Friends divorcing
Ick. That's gross to think that you open your home to a friend and he bonks your wife.
It is difficult to maintain a friendship with both people in a divorce. I think the only way it works is if you refuse to discuss the other person... or listen to one vent about the other. Otherwise, you end up in the middle, which isn't a good place to be IMO.
Newlyweds since 2007
It's completely up to you. Definitely do what feels right to you.
My opinion is just based on my experiences. It seems like even when people vent, they somehow come away with me agreeing with and supporting something they've said. Then, they tell the other person... and somehow I end up in the middle of something.
Newlyweds since 2007
Yeah, I agree. Venting is usually followed by looking for support... It's a hard line to manage. And then, when you want to have GTGs, who do you invite out? Ugh. The whole thing just gets so messy.
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that DOES suck. you open your house and then that happens. that's horrible. i agree with pp. i would be careful with the venting and them projecting what they want to hear on you...
so so sad...
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