Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
has anyone on here ever have a sibling who passed away?
Sorry to be a downer, but 5 1/2 years ago my little sister died in a car accident, and today would have been her 25th birthday. I was just curious if any other nesties have lost a sibling and how they help deal with the sadness on certain dates like b-days and things. My DH is very supportive (he never got to meet her sadly). I was just curious. Thanks.
Re: has anyone on here ever have a sibling who passed away?
My older brother passed away from cancer when I was 10. (15 years ago) On those certain days, I usually have lunch with my mom and we talk about things he used to do and what he was like.This helps me to keep his memory alive, since it seems like a life time ago that he was here.I don't want his memory to fade.
If, for some reason my mom can't have lunch, I usually spend the day looking at old pictures, and trying to remember him during his good times. Thinking about the good times helps me remember that we had 9 good years with him, and for that I am thankful.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I've never lost a sibling myself, but my best friend lost her brother four years ago in a car accident.
They don't do anything to celebrate her late brother's birthday, but here in Mexico we celebrate Day of the Dead, and they set up a little altar in remembrance of him on that holiday. They also keep lots of pictures of him on the wall.
My friend is thinking about getting a small lizard tattoo, since her brother loved lizards.
They often talk about him in a very positive light, remembering things from his life. They seem to have moved on pretty well, while still keeping him in their home and memory.
First of all, my sincere condolences to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have not lost a sibling, but my mother did. She never did much to honor her, as it was too painful, but she did display pictures and tell us about Aunt Rosie when she was a child.
Again, my condolences.
Last updated 4/06/11
I lost my brother on July 25th of this year, just 3 weeks before my wedding. My brother and I had birthdays that were 1 day apart (Sept 21 & Sept 22) so that is really the only big this we have celebrated since he passed away (other then my wedding but obviously we all missed him and cried about it that day). On his birthday I took balloons to the cemetery and just hung out for awhile. DH took a few hours off work and came to sit in the cemetery with me. I can tell that DH doesn't really know what to say or do when I get sad but he gives me the space and support I need to grieve.
My brother left behind three children. I imagine we will spend holidays remembering my brother and keeping him memory alive for his children.
I am so sorry for your loss. People say it will get easier but I don't think it ever will. Just writing this post has made me start crying....
I'm so sorry.
While I haven't lost a sibling myself, I've taught kids who've lost siblings, and it seems like every family and every individual handles it differently. Whatever feels right for you at the time is okay. I know one girl wrote poetry about her older sister who drowned in an accident. One family had a Mass said in their child's honor on her birthday every year and went to it together.
It's normal to grieve on significant dates, and what you do this year might be different than what you do ten years from now.
It's hard.
My little sister died almost 17 years ago from complications related to AIDS. She was 33 and left behind two little girls who I have helped raise. Grief has been complicated by her mental illness and by the poor decisions she made in her life, as well as by the fallout I continue to attempt to repair. She nearly destroyed my parents who ceased to be available to me as support parents/grandparents and I am still picking up the pieces of the impact her choices made for her daughters.
I seldom indulge in the hurt it caused me. But her birthday and Christmas are heavy for me. It's interesting that my nieces breeze through her birthday and Christmas, but suffer terribly through Mothers Day, Child-birth and Weddings.
I'm so sorry. Nobody should bury a child or a little sister/brother.
I've never lost a sibling, but I can tell you what my family does to remember my grandfather.
We have a candle that we light for all holidays and special occasions that represents that he is there watching over us. As crazy as it sounds, that's the most comforting for us. Its a physical reminder that he's there with us still.
We also have a big family dinner every year on the day he passed. Sometimes we don't even talk about him, but we just feel better by being together.
First, I'm so sorry for you loss!
I have never lost a sibling, but I lost my cousin/best friend a little over 10 years ago. He had just turned 18 and I was still 17. It was incredibly hard for all of us, not to mention his parents and siblings. My grandmother has taken some of her favorite pictures of him growing up and has made a collage out of them, that hangs on her "graduation" wall, since he was a month away from graduating when he passed. The family still goes and leaves things on his grave, making sure it's still looking nice.
The family as a whole doesn't really do anything special on certain days like his birthday, but it does trigger us to talk about him and reminisce. Big family get-togethers also trigger it.
Time has helped us cope with the loss and manage our grief, but I don't think the hole will ever completely be gone.
Time to put on your big girl panties
I've got your rainbows and ponies right here
So sorry for your loss. I've lost two siblings. My brother died in 2006 of a heart attack he was only 29. And my sister died last September, 3 weeks after she stood next to me at my wedding. It took me months to get over the death of my brother. There were so many reminders of him all over the place. As time has gone on things have gotten easier, but it still hurts. I think I'm still in shock and have lots of anger over my sister's death. I don't want to accept it. They both leave behind two children. My sister has a set of twin girls and the older they get the more they look like her. On their birthdays and holidays I think about them lots. The cementary is not close to my house, so I don't get there very often, but when I go I take flowers. They are buried near each other.