September 2010 Weddings
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Raise your hand if...

...you just found out your parents are getting divorced b/c your mom posted it on FACEBOOK instead of telling you.

::looks around::

Oh, I'm the only one, huh?  I seriously wish I were kidding, but nope.  I logged on to FB this morning and mom's status is "single". I immediately texted my little brother who still lives at home.  Turns out they've been having issues for several months now and didn't want to tell K and I and "ruin our wedding and honeymoon."  I don't even know what to say to that.

I guess to be fair it isn't my dad, it's my step-dad.  But still can't believe my mom didn't say anything to me.  They've been married for 18 years.  I feel so bad for my little brother b/c I know how it feels to go through your parents splitting up and I don't want him to have to go through it.  And it scares the crap out of me that after 18 years of marriage it's ending in divorce.  I know without a doubt that I made the right decision marrying K, but I'd be lying if I said that this didn't freak me out about my own marriage a little.  It's just shocking to me.

Sorry for being a downer, but I had to vent somewhere.  K's been listening to me, but he doesn't understand.  He's never had a divorce in his family.

Vacation

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Re: Raise your hand if...

  • djsklfsjfl;kdashfkdjshfjkdlshfajlkdhs WAH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

     Rachel, i am so so so sorry for this entire sh*tty situation.  i am almost speechless.  facebook?  18 years?  divorce?  little brother?  all so craptastic.  i am really sorry and i hope you, your mom, and your entire family get through this as smoothly as possible.  thinking of you, girl.

     

  • Holy crap! I can't believe that you found out that way. That's horrible.

    I'm not much help, when my parents separated I was glad. They should have never stayed together as long as they did. But I'm sorry you're going through it!

     

  • wow.  Not sure what else to say!!  So sorry you had to find out this way.  Hope things go ok for you, but also your little brother who is still at home!!  Sending thoughts your way!
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  • Rachel, I'm so sorry about the whole situation.  I know it's tough dealing with something like this, whether it's your 'real' dad or not.  Unfortunately we've had a lot of divorce in my family, so if you need someone to talk to when K just isn't getting it, you know how to reach me.

    Not to get preachy at a bad time, but from personal experience:

    I know you're probably unhappy with your mom right now for how she handled this, but hopefully you can set that aside and be there for her if she needs you.  I don't know what possesses a person to divulge important life events like that via FB instead of personally, but try not to hold it against her while she's going through this.  I found out about my grandmother's death that way and I really held a grudge against my mom for a while, rather than being supportive, and I feel bad about it now.

    Of course feel free to ignore me and tell me to STFU for sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong.  Lots and lots of hugs for you, Rachel.

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  • Wow...I would be devastated. I'm sorry. I would be really hurt by my mom keeping this from me. It is a big deal. I think you should confront her and voice your frustration.

    Your mom and step dad breaking up has nothing to do with you and K (I know you already know that!) And if you have worries just talk to hubby about them. Every couple has their problems, but I seriously believe that divorce comes when one or both parties give up trying. I know there are many different instances that are exempt from that (abuse, cheating, etc.) but even those reflect a sense of giving up on the person you made a commitment to. A part of the vows you make on your wedding day are pledges to never give up?no matter what. We're all human though and sometimes those vows are broken. Try to be there for your brother, as you said it will be a really hard time for him. All of you (mom and step dad included) need lots of love right now! It's a shitty thing to go through...

    I'm so sorry. Can't imagine what you must be feeling/thinking. Sending a big hug your way!

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  • That's definitely not a story you hear everyday.

    Maybe it was easier for your mum to broadcast it that way, rather than facing up to you over the phone or in person.   I'm not making excuses for her, but as devastated as you are, imagine what she is going through.  

    I say try to be as supportive as you can right now. Once she's through it, THEN be like "wtf mum?!  FABCEBOOK???!??11"

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  • Wow I'm so sorry you had to find out that way! I couldn't imagine! Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts your way for you and your family. Be there for your little brother (like I'm sure you already will be) and for your mom and step dad too.

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  • Mother of pearl. I cannot believe that. I'm so sorry you found out like that.

     

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  • Thanks for all the hugs and kind words. Smile

    I certainly know that this has to be harder on my mom and step-dad than anyone.  I'm just trying to deal with the shock myself, calm down, and then figure out how to approach the situation with my mom.  I'm not pissed at my mom; just shocked at the whole thing - the way it came out, the fact that it's actually happening.

    It doesn't make it any better that I'm so far away from home.  I feel like I need to be there - for my brother especially - and here I sit at my desk 10 hours away from home... *sigh*

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  • Thoughts and prayers are with you - let us know if you need anything!  I'm very sorry you had to find out the way you did, but I'm sure your mother did not approach the situation this way to hurt you.  I'm sure she is just as lost and confused as you are, so try to be there and support her as much as you can.  Be grateful that you and FI have a strong relationship that will help you get through this.
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  • Oh, I am so sorry hun.  I hope for the best for your family.  Everyone already gave great words and advice, so I don't have much to say.  Just be strong and you will get through this. 
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  • So sorry to hear that you and your brother & family are going through this.

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  • wow dude--- that's the pits.

    I can see where she's coming from tho' keeping it from you until AFTER your wedding a such... I mean let's get real-- nothing says "Marriage is a wonderful blessing" than getting a divorce after your daughter gets married.

    It's a catch 22-- but like pp said... I think you should ride it out and be there for her...ya know? Divorces suck....... I'm a product of a broken home......so if you need moral support-- I'm here. :o)

     

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  • Um THAT SUCKS!  I feel the same as LTB I wanted mine to split.  That is BSC! ((hugs))
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