Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Advice please!
I am not sure exactly what board to post this on but I need some advice. I have been dating my bf for 6 months. He is a great guy. I am struggling with sex. I have never had an O through sex just through oral or manual or a toy. My bf doesn't like oral, just the way it tastes, he wants me to shower everytime before and so before bed I shower and he still doesn't do it. We recently started using a toy on my clit while he is inside but it is the same position and routine everytime. I guess what my question is? How important is sex in a relationship? Marriage? I am thirty and have had quite a few relationship. He is the best relationship I have been in just the sex part is lacking? Any advice?
Re: Advice please!
If sex is important to you, then it is important in any relationship you have with whoever you are dating.
He sounds pretty selfish. You shower yet there's no head? Willing to bet he's BJ crazy.
Do yourself a favor: end this relationship. And find yourself a totally unselfish guy...who loves oral sex and can't get enough of it. GL.
PS: Lots of ladies don't have vaginal orgasms. You sound like you're doing okay in the orgasm department.:)
Well, to answer your question, sex is VERY important in a relationship.
But, I'm not quite seeing how you're coming to the conclusion that your sex life is over since you have to use a vibrator during intercourse? Welcome to the club, honey. Lots of women don't have the big O from just penetration. Have you tried rubbing yourself during the act; has he tried rubbing you? I use a finger vibe during sex all the time, and there's no variety lacking in my bedroom.
And if he doesn't like doing oral, he doesn't like. I can't find fault there. However, if he insists on you performing oral on him anyway, there's some issues there.
Or, if you think you can't be with a guy who doesn't like to give you oral sex, then don't be with him. Plenty of fish in the sea, and all that.
Sex is VERY important. I know that sounds so superficial but it really is, it's a bonding experience (cheesy I know). It doesn't sound like you have a lot of sex problems, just keep trying different positions and ways of stimulating yourself and maybe you'll find more than one position.
Talk to your man about the oral situation. He can't figure it out if you don't clue him in.
Wait, why do you understand his unwillingness to give you oral sex? His excuse about not liking the taste is pretty hollow, especially if you take a shower and then nothing happens.
I've always found it hard to believe that someone can be great in every department with the one specific exception of not being willing to meet their partner's sexual wants and needs. It fundamentally doesn't make sense.
Of course sex is important in a relationship, and in a marriage. Specifically, being sexually compatible, both in terms of frequency and sexual preferences, is extremely important.
A person might have a lot of good traits, and your relationship overall might be pretty good, but there are some things, like sex, finances, work, and children, that are dealbreakers if you have drastically different attitudes about them. It sounds like he has some unreasonable expectations regarding sex, but even if he didn't, if his sexual desires are very different from yours, that could be a huge problem. It wouldn't make him a bad person, it just means he's not the right person for you. If you've tried talking to him about this, and there's been no improvement after six months, it's probably time to let this one go.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
First let me say that I am a guy,
I also hate oral, no man I know likes to give oral, we all like getting oral.
A general statement of men being jerks I know, however I will say that I love my Wife and anytime she wants me too, or anytime I think she will enjoy it, I will do it for her (and pretend I enjoy it). Men do this because we love you and enjoy your company. If a man will not attend to his partners request then he is the aforementioned jerk.
Tips: #1One thing that I love about my DW is that she keeps herself very well trimmed as she knows I dont like searching through a forest. #2 Does your man watch porn? I'm sure he does. Find some good clips that show what you want him to do, tell him in a sultry voice that is what can really turn you on. (We're men, we need instructional videos).
Also, Sex is very important in a relationship. Both partners must be satisfied and actively working together for their pleasure. When one or both people are unsatisfied then it can put a tremendous strain on the relationship.
Good Luck