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bro in law's new relationship causing us problems
My husband and I have always had a healthy relationship, with sporadic arguing here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary. Since his brother (with whom he once considered himself close) began dating his girlfriend about 10 or so months ago, WE have been having marital problems! We have virtually no relationship with the two because she has my b-i-l wrapped around her fingers and he's so ridiculously whipped. She clearly has an agenda, and is well on her way to getting what she wants (a ring). She has been lying and manipulating situations to make me look bad and herself look great, clearly trying to demonstrate that I'm being mean, so that big bag sister-in-law isn't welcoming her, making him more protective. I also discovered that she's been telling lies about me and making up stories to cover her lies! My husband listens to me, but I don't feel supported, even though my father in law seems to see where I'm coming from. Recently (3 mos ago), my b-i-l called and berated me on the phone for roughly 1 hour (and this is where the lies came out); however nothing has happened since. We're supposed to have a talk, but I refuse to listen to lies AND I'm afraid that my husband won't support me. Any advice as to how to deal with a liar and still save face?
Thanks for letting me rant 
Re: bro in law's new relationship causing us problems
This should say: Any advice as to how to deal with a spineless H?
Seriously. You need to sit down and talk to your H about how you feel that he doesn't back you up. This problem will not go away and will just get worse. I would also suggest marriage counseling if he continues not to back you up.
Stay out of your BIL's relationship. Don't hang out with them. Just ignore her.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
Why the H did you not hang up? Surely you're smart enough to know that he only berated you for as long as you let him; you had the ability to hang up at any time.
Also, your H is being a wimp by refusing to stand up to his brother. He should be embarrassed about his childish refusal to do so and you should be irate with him.
This is about him, not your BIL or his GF.
Why are you engaging with their drama? Just ignore it. Don't listen to anyone berating you for an hour, that is just giving them power.
And I wholeheartedly agree with pp, this is about your DH not standing up for you. Deal with that issue before you worry about anything else.
Maybe I m missing something here...
What does his relationship with her have anything to do with you and your H?
Stay away from them, do not get involved with them...
And the only reason your bil "berated " you for an hour was because you let him! If you hung up the moment it started instead of feeding into it and going along with the drama...poof it would have been over.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Definitely try to stay away from them a much as possible, but the in-laws (and my husband) are big on family, and think it's important for us to get along. I definitely answered the b-i-l back when he was yelling at me, but it still bothered me that it had to happen. Have spoken to the husband (btw, what is DH?), and he understands he needs to be behind me a bit more---definitely an issue we've been working on. We actually tried counseling and we learned that basically, our only problem was his brother!
So---how do you deal with an annoying b-i-l and his even more obnoxious gf?
Find another counselor because yours sucks. Your problem is your DH, not your BIL.
Have to agree with ziti on this one. I'm quite sure there isn't a qualified, good counselor around that would legitimately say, "Oh no, you guys are a match made in Heaven! Honestly, your ONLY problem is that damn brother of his. Get rid of the brother and you'll live happily ever after."
Maybe you should take a hit out on BIL? Oh wait, I guess that might not go over so well with your in-laws, seeing as how they're so big on family.