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BOBLAH BLAH !! I got a new Blair theory.
ok- this came to me while I was driving home from the fvcking playground today, with my very satisfied children in the backseat pleading for juice boxes, and you know, my H has been out of town all week, and won't be back until late tomorrow night, and by god, the man will want to sleep all day the next day and then he leaves again for the weekend...woe is me...
SO-
I have this recurring fantasy that I have to be hospitalized...nothing serious, just..idk, something that makes me have to lay quietly in bed for a week or so, but with all of my faculties about me-I won't be in much pain, but I'll have loads of pain medication, and there won't be any residual effects...ok- I haven't come up with what the illness will be, just that I will be out. of. commission.
nothing will be expected of me. nobody will bug me. people will wait on me, while sympathizing with me! I won't be walking a dog, changing a schitty diaper, preparing anyone's healthy well balanced meal...
I daydream about it whenever I am feeling sorry for myself, but you know, nothing serious. Im ok. Life is fine. I like my kids, they're my little schmoops. I have it pretty good, and I know it. I snap out of it and carry on.
to get to the POINT:::::
I wonder if this daydream is all too real for our friend blair?
like, she has to find ways to be the center of attention (obviously) and she would prefer to be taken care OF than to do the care taking (who wouldn't) but she's missing the brain chip that people have that tell them, stop being a selfish d1ckhead and step up. you can't pick and choose what you want to participate in in your life when you have responsibilities.
your husband can only be your mommy for so long before it's just too much. your kid is going to grow to hate you like anyone with half a brain already does.
she's maddeningly selfish. I think she may not have PPD at all- at first I suspected she did have it, but now, I am thinking she is just so fvcking self indulgent and obsessed, that she's using an obscure disorder to her advantage and making it a platform for her silly blog.
what do you think?
Re: BOBLAH BLAH !! I got a new Blair theory.
I think I'm living your fantasy today. I went to bed with sudden and excruciating ear pain last night, went to urgent care as early as possible this morning where they told me I have a raging ear infection.
I was sent home with vicodin AND (literally) a note from the dr excusing me from work today and tomorrow. It's a day I have only dared to dream of before today.
(I am a SAHM as well. My dr excused me from being a sahm today!)
I think a lot of people are convinced Blair is a big fakity faker. She doesn't have PPD -- she just needs something to be melodramatic and get sympathy over. It's good fodder for her blog. And even the negative attention gets her more blog hits, so yay for her, right?
I think the disorder you are hoping to suffer from is what I plan on naming "NapComa". It's not a full coma -- just one where you get a week or two to nap as much as you'd like and be served food for the hour or two a day you're conscious.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
you SLUT!
hope you enjoy it! I had one ear infection as an adult (caught me very off gaurd.)
it was terrible!
the antibiotics they gave me worked well- but I got NO vicodin, and I had to work the next day!
I hope you feel better and really make the most of it!!
Franks you very much, at the moment I am willing the pain to return with a vengeance so that I can take another vicodin and eke a bit more out of this fantasy. Come on, middle ear, you know it's tough in there - let the pain flow! I got ya covered!
Edith, I feel like I'm constantly residing up your ass with constantly telling you how goddamn funny you are, but how can I not when you post awesome stuff like this?
ETA: Constantly.
ETA also: Con.stant.ly.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Mod that is miserable! I hope you get vicodin and dr's notes at least.
I don't think I have had an ear infection since I was like 8. Anytime I get a cold, it does settle in my ears, but it always clears up on its own.
I got a double ear infection a few years ago and got the same reaction.
Uh, dude, obviously they do. Now make with the meds. I got no vicodin, though! I just got ear drops, which felt so damn good. I love ear drops.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
whatever, cal. we're in love.
it's a mutually consenting relationship, right? so...no condoms, ok?
Deal. But if either of us ends up knocked up as a result of our scissoring, we have to give the baby to Groomz.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I would have a baby for groomz. I woul dhave one for my SIL, too, but I don't know how to offer...they've adopted one, and I feel like it would be insulting for me to say...hey! If you want to mix one of your OWN up and put it in my womb- here I am!!
I don't like being pregnant, but I LOVE giving birth- and I think i would REALLY like it if I didn't have to care for a newborn afterward!
I was hoping for drops and that satisfying crackly poppy sensation you get like after you swim and the water works itself out. But sigh. Just vicodin for poor me.
By the way, the universe apparently does not like women who joke about having a drug-assisted day off from mothering. Seba just had one call he had to take today so while he was doing that I went to get Matt from his nap.
Matt: It spilled!
Mom: It what?
Matt: The poop spilled!
Yes the poop spilled, on to the crib sheet, on his socks, onto most of his left thigh.
PEOPLE. I HAVE A DR'S NOTE. I AM EXCUSED FROM THIS SPILLED POOP NONSENSE TODAY.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Re: Blair
In her post about why she was hospitalized, she said she was seeing "demon babies". Like, actual black-eyed, fanged babies. Can PPD even do this? I really have no idea, and it's part of the reason why I think she's a fakity-fake. If her blog had zero ads and less followers I'd be more inclined to believe it.
I think someone said they wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly becomes "infertile" when they try for a 2nd kid.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
omg- guys, who is nominating her and voting for her for best working mommy blog??
seriously?
that's kind of like nominating Adolff Eichmann for humanitarian of the year? I mean...really?
she's not doin' it right.