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In laws...am i wrong?
So, be and hubby have been together for almost 5 years and married for two months 
. Well every year his parents (and 2 sisters) take a trip. Well i've never been invited, even though each year they say 'Oh she can come next year'. I've always thought it was rude and voiced my opinion to hubby but it's never gone anywhere. Well this year, suprisingly, they asked us to go on a trip over Thanksgiving Weekend..(and when they told us, acted like it was this HUGE deal that they were asking). Well they rented a condo and there are two bedrooms, each have 1 queen sized bed and a bathroom, and the living room has a pullout couch! Well when we asked what the room situation would be, his sisters started getting snoody saying "well you guys don't have to go if you don't want to sleep on the couch". Um I'M SORRY! we're married and should get the privacy. Well hubby fought back and said every vacation we go on i sleep on the couch and get screwed, and the oldest sister said "well then you won't mind getting screwed again then" and walked away. And his parents have always thought the girls are perfect and never do anything wrong! Also found out that the girls had been going to work and talking behind my back, when all i have ever done is be nice and invite them to go do things with me! I am just so irritated with the situation that i don't even want to see them for a LONG time! I just don't know what to do! I've discussed it with Hubby and he said he understands, but is not sure what to do! I think the Sil's need to be put in their place! What do you think? Am i wrong for thinking this?
. Well every year his parents (and 2 sisters) take a trip. Well i've never been invited, even though each year they say 'Oh she can come next year'. I've always thought it was rude and voiced my opinion to hubby but it's never gone anywhere. Well this year, suprisingly, they asked us to go on a trip over Thanksgiving Weekend..(and when they told us, acted like it was this HUGE deal that they were asking). Well they rented a condo and there are two bedrooms, each have 1 queen sized bed and a bathroom, and the living room has a pullout couch! Well when we asked what the room situation would be, his sisters started getting snoody saying "well you guys don't have to go if you don't want to sleep on the couch". Um I'M SORRY! we're married and should get the privacy. Well hubby fought back and said every vacation we go on i sleep on the couch and get screwed, and the oldest sister said "well then you won't mind getting screwed again then" and walked away. And his parents have always thought the girls are perfect and never do anything wrong! Also found out that the girls had been going to work and talking behind my back, when all i have ever done is be nice and invite them to go do things with me! I am just so irritated with the situation that i don't even want to see them for a LONG time! I just don't know what to do! I've discussed it with Hubby and he said he understands, but is not sure what to do! I think the Sil's need to be put in their place! What do you think? Am i wrong for thinking this?
Re: In laws...am i wrong?
Well to play devils advocate, I know I wouldn't appreciate being told that just because I was single and not married I had to sleep on the couch. There has to be a more fair way of settling the rooms.
Do they work with you? If not, then I would just let it go. They are allowed to talk to whoever they want. How would you feel if they were upset that you talked about them on this board? You have every right to voice your frustrations with them, and they have every right to voice their frustrations with you. As long are you guys are not talking to mutual friends or family, I would drop it.
no dear, i do NOT NOT NOT NOT think you are wrong. it really irks me when people dont care about newlyweds privacy rights! yes i said rights!!
its common logic that you and your hubby should share one bedroom, your il the other and the two brats should sleep on the couch.
im glad you voiced your disappointment to your dh. he should tell his parents and sisters that if they are not going to respect the privacy due to you, you just cant go, and they can take their big fat big deal invitation and go all alone!!!!!!!
get these issues sorted out now before more time passes. the longer stuff like this gets brushed under the rug, the worse it gets. inlaws and sisters need to respect your privacy. dh needs to stand up to his family, point and case.
Personally, I don't think that it's about who is right & who is wrong. I see this in such a way where if somebody wins, everybody loses. If you win the battle over the bed, will it fracture a relationship with you, your DH, & the family? Though a bed issue may seem so small, it's obviously not such in this case, huh? Ask yourself: "Is this really the hill I want to die on?"
Perhaps if you really feel that you can't be around the SILs because of their actions, don't put yourself in that situation. Maybe decline to go on the trip with his family & maybe you & your DH can go on a 3 day weekend trip (or something) on your own, instead? That way you & your DH won't have to handle the whole ordeal.
As far as the family thinking that the girls never do wrong, time tends to show people's true colors. I believe in Karma, so I wouldn't worry too much about them. Unfortuantely, in some instances when you married your DH, your name & marital status may have changed, but not necessarily your position when it comes to the family's ideas of the pecking order. Each family- & individual- is different, so also take that into consideration when you think about the dynamics.
Sorry to hear about this being an issue for you. I hope that this helps.
Are the sisters in charge of the trip? Why are you listening to them? Why do they get to make the rules?
If your MIL and FIL are the ones arranging and paying for the trip, then THEY get the final say on who gets what room. They can make the call on who gets the bed and who gets the couch. If they leave it up to you guys, suggest drawing straws for the bed, or work out a rotating schedule.
If you aren't happy with the sleeping arrangements, then you and your H can book another nearby condo or hotel room that meets your liking. Sleep there at night, and meet up with them during the day for whatever activities you are planning. If you pay, then you get the say.
Or just don't go, if you're that unhappy about it. But since you said you're pissed that you were never invited before, I don't get why you can't just suck it up and sleep on the couch if that is what winds up happening. A couple nights on a couch won't kill you. Especially if it's a free couch.
How old are all of you? This sounds like a teenage squabble, honestly. You and your H arguing with his sisters over it sounds so ridiculously childish, especially if it's not their say over who sleeps where. Don't get sucked into their arguments.
My ideas to solve the rooming issue:
1) Draw straws.
2) Rent a separate cabin or hotel room nearby and just spend the days with the family.
3) Concede and sleep on the couch.
4) Don't go.
ETA: Regarding your question of being in the wrong, I don't think this is a black and white issue. Contributing positively to the family (if you choose to do so) means being flexible. Just because your H is the married sibling in the family should not automatically win him the bedroom. Try to look at it through the sisters' perspectives. Not only would they have to share a bed (in either circumstance) but they may have to share a fold out bed. Yuck. They've had a family tradition of going on vacation and now because you've joined the family things have to change? I agree that after years of being stuck on the couch, your H's time for the bedroom is past due but if they don't see it that way, then they don't see it that way. I think you'd be making unnecessary trouble if you choose to act like spoiled brat over this. Pick your battles. Honestly, I do not see the allure of going on vacation with inlaws; I love mine but would not stay in the same condo/cabin/hotel room/whatever with them.
Prior to getting married I would have been okay with 'family' only vacations. Not everyone agrees, but that is just how I roll. (not that I did while dating DH, but it would not have bothered me either).
Once we got married, Hell to the NO of him going on vacation with his family and me not being invited. That would be a huge issue with me and it's more of a husband problem.
As far as sleeping arrangements. You all need to grow up. I come from a big family and there are only so many beds to go around. Someone has to get the sofa and just because you are married does not give you the 'right' to get the bedroom. 2 siblings having to share a bed has just as much rights to the bedroom and a married couple IMO. At least with a married couple they can snuggle on the small bed.
IMO if you don't like the sleeping arrangements, then pay for them yourselves.
This is just a stupid fight between siblings. No one wants to sleep on the pull-out. Not a shocker.
Just don't go. And next year, offer to contribute so his parents can get a 3-bedroom. This is free to the siblings, right? You'd be better to sound grateful instead of so entitled.
Yes, you're wrong.
Plenty of families don't bring girlfriends or boyfriends on family vacations, especially when the gf/bf is very young. You've been dating your DH since you were 17, I don't blame his parents at all for not wanting to bring you on vacation.
There is also no reason why you should get the second bedroom just because you are married. It is so silly to pick a fight about this.
You sounds like a lot of drama, and if you can't be nice about being invited (for free I assume) on this vacation, then do your husband's family a favor and don't go.
I also think that the reason your SIL's talk behind your back is because you give them plenty of reason to do so.
Don't go. I agree that a couple should get a bed rather than a couch (or did you say it was a pull out couch?) - but if your SILs treat you like crap then why would you even want to travel with them? Is your H going no matter what or would he stick up for you and stay home as well if you told him you don't want to go?
I dont' think sleeping on a pull out couch is a HUGE deal just for a few nights. After all you're going to be sharing a house with family - so you're not going to be walking around nekkid, right? I'm thinking if you want to go on this trip, you may need to get over the sleeping arrangement thing......unless your ILs put their entitled bittch daughters in their place and INSIST that the newlyweds have the other bedroom for privacy.
I don't see why you're offended that you weren't invited on previous trips... I think many families would find it inappropriate for a girlfriend to share a room with her boyfriend, and maybe they didn't want to pay for an extra room.
I haven't fought over a bed since middle school. Just because you're married, that doesn't mean you're better than your SILs. They have just as much right to a bed as you do.
In the end, it's up to your MIL and FIL to decide who sleeps where.
You have a few choices here:
1.Force your SILs to sleep on the couch, and have the entire family dislike you forever... not to mention a horrible vacation.
2. Let MIL and FIL decide, and just accept whatever they offer you (since they're kind enough to pay for everything)
3. Kindly offer to sleep on the couch.
4. Pay for your own accommodations nearby... this might be best as it lets everyone have more space, comfort and privacy.
5. Don't go. (even though I think turning down a free family vacation over a sofa would be a bit childish)
As the youngest of five daughters (and the odd girl out) I was always on the couch for vacations growing up. Now that I'm married the unmarried sisters sleep on the couch and it is nice if I do say so myself.
As for your situation... eh, pick your battles. I say just go with the flow. Do you really want this to be the hill you die on?