Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Health Care Directives - have one?
I am going to put this out there right up front - I have a Healthcare Directive and I think that they're important things to have for people of all ages. But do you have one??
My DH and I are opposites when it comes to planning. I'm totally on the uber planner end of the spectrum and DH is totally on the "take life as it comes and deal with it then" end. However, I'm trying to get him to do one of these so that I know I fully understand his wishes for care if he should ever not be able to make medical decisions for himself. Part of it stems from me wanting his wishes in writing so that if I ever have to pull the plug, for example, I don't have issues with his parents intervening in a way he wouldn't want for himself.
He just absolutely refuses to consider the possibility of his death. I don't get it. As the saying goes, the only things that are certain in life are death and taxes! He thinks it is insanely morbid to consider being in a state where he couldn't make decisions for himself.
I'm curious what other people think about doing something like a Health Care Directive. Are you all for it? Do you think it is too morbid to think about? I guess I am hoping that someone who doesn't have one and doesn't intend to have one can shed some light on why they don't want to do it. And for the people who are all for it, maybe you can help me with some more good reasons I can give him to do it. 
Thanks!
Re: Health Care Directives - have one?
I am 100% for it. You never know what will happen or when. Things sometimes just happen - DH had his first major heart attack at 32, no family or personal cardiac history (and yes he was extremely fit), and his best friend passed away at 37 from sudden medical issues. There are also wild card things like car accidents to consider - you just never know.
I speak from experience -the time of crisis is NOT the time to try to figure out the wishes of your spouse! It eliminates any feeling of guilt for your decisions, and is a pre-emptive strike against family members thinking that they know your spouse's wishes better than you do. It is such a relief to just be able to deal with things and not to have to pile those decisions/debates on when you are in the ICU waiting for answers. Also, being in a calm, collected state of mind and putting the choices on paper will allow you to be sure that you each understand fully what the other wants and deal with any differences you may have about it.
Go for it! Its not morbid, it is good planning and part of being a responsible couple!
ok....that was long....
....I'll slink off my soapbox now....
This!! I agree 100%
I also know that some people have a very hard time thinking about death... in can cause a lot of anxiety and fear so while your husband's reaction may not be the most helpful, it isn't uncommon.
MY BLOG!
Nicole and Sam 10/3/09