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HELP! BIL is a Looter User Loser!
BIL always thinks he has entitlement over everything, & thier family enables him. I met Jim 4yrs ago, Jim is hard working, J gave BIL nice car. In return when J needed a car BIL gave him a car that was so ugly that J got tickets & legal issues his family didnt help. Then one time BIL drove an hr to take J's welder like it was his.J gave BIL a house, that parents gave him for his 1st wedding on thier property new carpet everything it was actually cute, BIL has a unhappy wife 2 kids from 1st marriage they have a son whi is just now school age. They trashed it out the farm house even parents complain about it the kids drawing on the walls, stuff sprawled out in the yard that they buy from auctions stuff that shouldnt be out side & they complain about stuff he 'borrows & doesnt return the mound of trash as big as house in backyard absolute junk. Several times BIL tried to get J to 'help' clean it up & dig the well something about not having city water and something about dead rats in the well water they bathe in. They dont want the city out thier cause the house looks condemned BIL doesnt tend yard snake problem is bad last time almost got bit in front yard, all kinds of pest fleas/ticks he could keep yard down they use thier parents address for everything. J gave them another house in city nearby did 90% remodeling paid 25% of the supplies.That house now landfill in the back, BIL rigged the electric so he didnt want to pay a fee to install,even faked tagged (some of the family members have said). We asked for $'s couple of yrs ago once & paid them back & it prompted BIL to start aasking for money, he would drive 45 min to get 60 dollars now how much was gas maybe 20. Then we moved in the house J gave his brother it took a month to clear land of tall grass & vines,J did plumbing from digging the trench to remodling the bathroom new toilet I baught the medicine cabinet, bought a new hot water heater. they gave us 20$ food & expected us to finish house,we painted & bathroom brand new then BIL expected us to redo someones half as^ job.Last Xmas parents where having hard time we didnt know it was medical bills & they lacked 250 to pay land taxes on land that was initially his BIL's inheritence including the farm house J gave him. so J gave his parents his unemployment check because BIL wouldnt help keep in mind thier parents paid thier bills for a long time. Shortly we moved parents helped of course BIL no where to be found we got most stuff had to leave some. After moved BIL went thru it took weedeater. BIL's wife now has her brother & family living there they sent him over here to get a plate for free internet. the plate cost as much as it cost to drive here. BIL 'borrowed' fancy smancy tent never got it back. Since we moved BIL only been here twice
1st time asked for $ to send to family member in jail 4 kidnapping/molestation. Takes about $20 in gas to come here J gave him 20 (keep in mind since then no more money will be sent cause the money the inmate recieves goes to his million dollar fine) then also when BIL made J drive all the way out there to work on a car in cold weather a car BIL got with tax money from all those kids even drove a few states away to get it,later when we needed help with a car BIL showed up late with whole family & didnt do anything. keep in mind when we stayed at the house J gave BIL-BIL threatened to kick us out cause we dont get pot for him. When out of smokes he would have his wife come over dailey bumming cigs. He buys pot from his 13 yr old sons friends (so the family has said).Been here twice since moved 1 ask for money & 2"help" but didnt. J is starting new buisness & BIL automatically asked to be partners & J said no cause of past times he didnt do him right.BIL does computer work blew off jobs with SONI & job at IBM from a family member now family wont hire him. His wife has job she has had for a while & often threatens to leave him she does the grocery shopping & cooks does alot of stuff. J knows admits even uses the word sloth when speaking about his brother even though we agreed to cut him out of future buisness deals he wanted to pay him to do a website & I was thinking out if everything he had done for him I told him i would do it for free. This xmas is coming up 1 time BIL got us a 5 dollar gift certificate & a card another it was a board game (I have one kid who gets nice gifts from our side of the family), & a card every yr we go all out last yr i didnt make scarves & got the kids cheaper gifts adults candy one time his oldest kid asked for roller shoes that cost close to 100 dollars they got a 10 dollar gift instead. Things like my kids bike is at old house he got a new bike im sure they took the other they could ask, we would have given it to them why? one of thier kids broke an arm on a bike that had no breaks if someone is driving 5 hrs away to get pot they have enough $ to buy thier kid a bike. Next the 10 yr old lawn mower that works like its age after we replace ours the gift giving needs to stop no matter how big or small. Til they can show more respect. The only times they barely do anything is when they think they will get something in return. We are having a baby they havent asked for anything really, when we found out his wifes brothers family was living in the house i thought how long is it going to take for them to come by & ask for something sure enough 2 weeks the internet plate. We kind of got everything we could to keep them from getting it. left a fridge that wasnt working so good when we left. Last summer planned a cool trip then BIL invited himself along we never called back 1 message he left be4 he knew we stiffed him he was talking smack about our car & how great his was (the one J helped fix) when he came over once he complained about the air & other things sorry our house is super nice. didnt invite them over to play in the new pool. They have his cell phone i dont asnwer it, sometimes J lets the minutes run out or the battery run low. ThanksGiving & Xmas are coming up, heck last easter at parents house his family barely spoke to me & he created an excuse when his parents where building a fence not to help. J wants to give him a handmade expensiv gift for xmas im like check again board game & card. My family has never asked for anything at all we share dinners next time it comes up that will be my case. Last week we got a frantic call that the police or HAZMAT wanted to search J's travel van its parked by that house, that was the 1st time I answered thier call, I called back MIL she said the cops wanted to search the van & BIL couldnt get a hold of his wife who was at that house, so I called the neighbor & asked what was going on & SIL was there briefly spoke to them & she said that their was a meth house next door last yr and that they are just now cleaning up the mess & where checking out the area. I thought that sounded strange for one last spring they called & said that the cops where searching that house so J drove there & it turned out to be a wierd joke, then this time they said a meth house was next door & when we where there we didnt notice anything strange yes yr ago, then BIL called J & asked what I told the neighbor she said I said we had stuff on the van I was like I dont remember saying that if I did I ment the stuff they tossed in there that was ours & they couldnt let us know to move it ourselves. Also SIL said that they where searching the yard trash that her brother threw out from 'cleaning the house'. Last weekend J went to check & the yard is up to his waist & the trash is strewn around the yard cause of racoons & skunks from dirty diapers to everything else just nasty for some reason SIL & BIL live that way and so does her family. So its like they come over our house is clean & they leave when i tell my kid to mow the lawn last time. Thats the 1st phone call I answered in months. Also J went to see his mom & told her that BIL is complaining about the trashed out house & that they are paying thier bills cause his wifes brother & wife dont have jobs and have a baby they moved up there to live off them & theya re barely making it well welcome to the real world., I told J when he told me well maybe they see how it feels, his mom said well thats horrible (dont know if it was sarcastic I wasnt thier when they had the discussion) I think they are all seeing the light. BIL sometimes makes snide comments about my wieght & its from my medicine but I just ignored it & moved on. BIL when he made 30 grand from SONy program they blew it on a road trip & do that all the time. J & I had a good discussion about it so far for the most part it sticking but they catch us off gaurd, then BIL wanted to 'buy' the van J said no, even our last car he wanted to buy we sold it to someone else. So thanks giving is around the corner & I live 7hrs from home no excuses I have to make an appearance then XMAS, I cooked 2 classy dinners for them one was thanksgiving it made me sick to my stomach. Complete neanderthal give an inch he takes a continent. Recently I made the comment about my family never asking for anything & even giving us money for xmas n stuff, I also made the comment dont even sell BIL anything he wouldnt even re-sale him the house he gave him thats going to waste. Its like we dont make a million bucks but work hard for what we have & tae good care of stuff because we understand value of not taking things for granted & making sacrifices we do have a sushy life no real worries just praying for a healthy child, all the other stuff is petty & trivial. His BIL is older than us mid 30s, its like if he thinks J is going to succeed he wants to either come for the ride or doesnt want him doing so without him. BIL other than the passive aggressive weight comments & ignoring me for the most part, I tell J BIL has been nothing but nice to me...Fri is a rd trip w/ MIL no issues with her last spring she did make a comment related to race that made me feel uncomfortable but I think she noticed afterwards since then I havent been around but is always nice & polite when I speak to her now. J & I have only had maybe two arguments & both where about his familys demenor since we dont live near them or hear from them as much its been good, it seemed like BIL likes to cause drama & try to prove that he is better in the process makes an a$$ of himself. I never told MIL why the argument but if I did she would be in for a rude awakening to know it was because of BIL always putting us in situations we dont need to be in some of it was illegal & we said uh no thanks then BIL wants people to feel sorry for him. J has often said he doesnt understand why BIL lives in a shack & like that by choice yet wanted to give him more & after that more dont get it. J really does care & I hate to see people take advantage of that. In our relationship we do everything balanced, maybe BIL is annoyed cause we have drama free lives & are happy. The less we know the better off we are. I used to hand out to everyone til one time I was in the hole & no one helped & thats all people like that r good for. I have a treadmill, any advice is good with the holidays comming up!
Location: austin
Re: HELP! BIL is a Looter User Loser!
Jenny McCarthy = Former Playmate and MTV host
Pediatrician = Doctor with extensive experience and education on children.
Bumpies = Don't get me started!
I know who I get my health advice from!
What are you looking at?
I wanted to vent...Actually I realized this, I dont come to this website much & saw everyone elses & thought my inlaw problem would cheer up & help others realize theirs arent so bad. Its also nice to know im not the only one.
So even though you asked for advice at the end you don't really want advice because you were just venting?
Seriously, click on your little EDIT button, break it up into paragraphs that make sense and you may get all kinds of helpful advice. After the first few sentences I deduced that the blame lies entirely with J and his family. BIL has a pretty sweet deal going where people give him stuff for free, like cars and houses -- why on earth would he do anything to change that?
Everything after that was just BLAH BLAH BLAH.
But I would like to know, where in America can one get ticketed for having an ugly car?
It's not just a paragraph issue. Spelling. Punctuation. Things hat make writing comprehensible and an actual form of communication.
It saddens me to think that English is likely your first lanaguage and that you have a least one kid.
But in terms of a solution to at least your BIL problem, since I can't help you with the fact that you're pretty much incapable of communication: STOP GIVING STUFF TO YOUR BIL AND DOING STUFF FOR HIM. Or for that guy in prison, for that matter, whoever that is.
This is not tough stuff.
What a classy group.
Face Painting Blog | Body Art Blog
Legal Blog
Sweet mother of god. Holy wall of bad grammar and poorly puncutated text, Batman!!!! I'm sorry, OP, but I cannot tell a lie; I had a very hard time reading that.
Anyhow, it sounds to me like BIL is living the high life because J gives him EVERYTHING. He should have put the kibosh on giving him things a LONGAZZ time ago - like before he even started to. BIL should have gotten a job and bought his own house, car, and contractors from the get go. Once enabled they'll always expect it. Don't think it'll change. Unless you and J move far, far away and drop all contact.
I want to help but can't until you edit your post. Just adding paragraphs would go a long way towards getting solid advice from people.
And I don't care if that makes me "ethnocentric" or whatever the grammar police chica from earlier this week called it.
^^This^^
Even if that was perfectly punctuated, spelled, and formatted, I still wouldn't have read that. You need to seriously shorten that. Is there a question buried in there?
If I wanted to read someone's life story I'd download it to my Nook.
With all do respect, It seems like people post things about thier families that upset them especially around the holidays. What bothers be most about all this is that this person was probably ashamed of what they went through & thought no matter how shameful it was that maybe someone would say hey my problem wasnt so bad. So from what I gather The Inlaws possibly cost that family well over 100k in dollars cars, houses and land are not cheap, even years later Im sure it upsets that person It would me to, & then to here people so concerned about grammar & 'trivial' things of that nature. Where you guys not listening that person endured rascist comments from her new family & even comments about her weight due to a medical condition. And some of you guys are ridiculing & even so willing to ostracise. I took the liberty of speaking with that person this was something that person wrote after they sent her on a break down, this person recived (sorry I didnt spell that right for the Gramar Nazi's)- 57k in student loans as a scholarship & was also a magna *** laude from a major college it took hard work to pay for school because she knows of hard work. She is actually from another country thats beside the point. Why all the insight I know the family she speaks of she is my roomate. No further details I will say living 2 days away does help, & her main concerns at that time was her BIL doing things illegally trying to bring others down in the process in return it blew up in his face now he is the one with legal issues doing stuff he shouldnt have been doing things she questioned, Im sure he will use that time wisely if u know what I mean so problem solved. So After seeing all this no ones laughing. Im sure she could have handled that appropiately, but she didnt feel a reason to justify herself to strangers that where more concerned about gramar. Again with respect, when people react a certain way quetion why & not jump to conclusions. She told me to apologize on her part. SInce then just sailing. I also want to comment that some people as family members are tired of the bickering especially over money. There are way more important things in the world than petty things.
I think I got the general idea. Your BIL lives in trash, does drugs, and uses people to get whatever he can. You don't want to spend the holidays with him. You're always giving and he's always taking.
The answer is easy. Stop giving him stuff. Don't spend the holidays with him and his family. Nothing you give him will ever be good enough. He is who he is and he isn't going to change. Accept it and limit your contact with him. And stop giving him money because he will only spend it on drugs.
no worries he isnt around anymore cause of legal issues so that took care of that, thanks so much we have lang barrier I was trying to explain to others it upset her it was more than 200k in assets I think that would frustrate anyone.
for the rest-
Voltam, oszinte Megfeledkezni r?la, lang barriers never mind