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T's and P's needed....
Ugh.
This is going to be kind of long, but I just need to vent a little.
MIL and FIL are in poor health and are essentially broke. FIL is turning 90 and has severe COPD (-uses Oxygen 24/7). MIL is around 65 and was diagnosed with Rhuemetoid Arthritis (RA) about this time last year.
Up until now, they have been living off of FIL's small pension, SS, and what little money MIL makes at her job at a dry cleaners. She's worked for that dry cleaners since DH was a child. Their combined income barely covers normal bills + their medical expenses. It's always been the plan (since we were dating) that when they can't make ends meet any more, that DH and I would open our home to them. We've been working towards that process. Our condo has been on the market since July (no bites) and we've been improving their house to make it market ready the minute our place sells.
Recently, though, MIL has been having some constant, severe RA flare ups. Additionally, some of her medications are making her ill (vomiting). She has found herself barely able to work because of the pain/paralysis. Last night, my FIL called and asked DH to come over (90 min away) because he needed some help taking care of mom. So DH went.
This morning I get an e-mail from my DH that she just received word that she lost her job for missing too much work. This is financially devastating to them and honestly, I don't really know what's going to happen with the plan to get a house together. It maybe our new immediate concern.
So if you would, please keep us in your T's and P's. Hard times.
Re: T's and P's needed....
Trust me, it would be a nightmare, but the 90 minute commute is already something I'm considering. The problem is that we wouldn't be able to charge in rent what we would need for our mortgage payment. But it would allow us to help them some.
I'm currently researching disability, and I'll add public aid to the list. Thanks for the thoughts.
I am so far from being in your situation (my parents are both under 60 and both parents are still in very good health) so I can't say I understand but what I can imagine is tremendous. I'll be praying. Keep us updated!
MY BLOG!
Actually, DH and I aren't really feeling the strain on our relationship. We're both very worried about mom and dad, and feel like we need to help them as best we can. We kind of are approaching all this with the motto "as long we have each other, we'll be all right." We're being very cognizant of each other's feelings and needs while addressing the issue at hand. Our relationship is one thing that I feel is really helping the situation.
Thanks for your continued thoughts.
Sorry you are all having to deal with this, but there is hope! My mom has been on disability for many years (and she's only 53) and gets over $1000 a month, which makes things tight, but she does survive. Did MIL make a lot more than that per month? She was working part-time?
I'm glad you mentioned your mom. MIL did work part time (drawing small amount of SS) and I'd be surprised if she made more than $1000 a month. I'm trying to figure out this disability thing, and it's just so confusing. Was the process for your mom to get on disability difficult?
This...right here...is wonderful. Good for you! My prayers are headed your way. There are elderly hot lines in many areas that can direct you to help. Check it out!
Working in health care I have an idea of how stressful it becomes dealing with the issue of aging parents. I'm so glad you and your DH are strong together and as handling the issue instead of sweeping it under the rug for others to shoulder which is what I see lots of families try and do.
There are social programs for her to help them out but I don't know how they differ from Canada to the U.S. Being there for them and doing the leg work is a tremendous help to them I have no doubt.
Nicole and Sam 10/3/09
It was actually, but mostly because she had held a full-time job for 22 years, they couldn't understand why she was unable to work any longer. But, for her younger sister who has the same condition, she was approved and started getting her benefits right away because she was never really able to hold down a job. Basically my mom was being punished for working through her pain and suffering. It wasn't air and she just kept at it, and 3 years later, they finally agreed and even paid her benefits in arrears. But, my BIL who has Huntington's got his at age 32 without a problem at all because of his diagnosis. Hopefully that works in your mom's favor and you won't have such a hard time.
Right, I know there are certain diseases for which disability is immediately available upon diagnosis. I'm pretty sure pancreatic cancer is on that list... maybe LG's Disease?
I just hate the bureaucracy about the whole thing. I think they weed out half of the people who need it just because of how complicated the process is.