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WWYD, lots of weddings!
DH & I have a ton of weddings in 2011 already. I'm MOH twice, 3 of my first cousins (we're all very close) and my old roomate, all have dates set. DH has another friend who's engaged, and his brother, and I have another good friend. So possibly 9 weddings.
My bestest friend is Sat Aug 20th. I'm MOH and Zoe is FG. My cousin just announced his date of Fri Aug 19th. My friend is planning her rehearsal dinner that night at the same place as the wedding because they will already have the rentals etc.
I told her immediately about the dates, and they are a good 1.5 hour drive. This was all through messenger, but it seemed like she expects me to be at the rehearsal, not matter what. I can't imagine missing my cousins wedding tho. But I don't want to upset my friend. Hers will be from 6pm-10pm and the wedding reception starts at 6:30pm.
WWYD?
July 10, 2010 Best. Day. Of. Life.
Re: WWYD, lots of weddings!
Wow! That is a TON of weddings!
Honestly, I would go to the wedding. I know you are the MOH, but family is just as important. Especially since you are close to your cousin, I cannot imagine having to miss the wedding. Luckily, you have a lot of time to straighten this out with your friend.
Good luck!
That is a lot! I hope you don't run into any more conflicts like this one..
I would plan on going to the wedding. But, you also have plenty of time right now, so I think I would hold off discussing it further than you have until next spring. Maybe by April or May, I would take some time to talk to your friend face to face (go out to lunch, or just sometime that you are together) and let her know that your cousin's wedding is extremely important, and it's unfortunate but you will be attending the wedding.
If you can, you could tell her that you are hers up until you have to go get ready for the wedding, so hopefully the only thing you will be missing is the actual rehearsal and dinner. Maybe you can have one of the other bridesmaids call/email on Friday night to update you on any changes/notes that are important for you to know. Hopefully your friend will understand, and she can see that she still has your commitment on her big day. Bonus points to you if you let her know you will be at her house/hotel bright and early because you took it easy on Friday night ;-)
See if you and her can meet with whoever is officiating ahead of time. (Like a few days before) and go through all the things you'll need to know. (Taking flowers, when to move where, walking in, etc.) This way, you will know exactly what you need too, and can still attend the other wedding.
I understand her wanting you there that night, but like PP person said, family is important too. I think if you have time to help her a lot the week of the wedding, and "learn" everything ahead of time, it'll be ok. Just explain to her that family is important too, and that you'd like to be able to do both.
I would go to the wedding. I would offer to meet with the bride whose rehearsal is the day of the the wedding earlier in the week and ask if there are any special things to be aware of, but wedding trumps rehearsal, any day of the week.
Would she consider moving her rehearsal so you can attend, given the circumstances?
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Ok, I'm glad you all have the same feeling that I do. I wasn't sure if it was my emotions of not wanting to miss my cousins wedding.
Saisong, I thought of seeing if she could do it Thursday night, but they only have the rentals Friday-Sunday, so it would mean her Future FIL would have to rent everything an extra day. I definitely don't want him to do that, plus they may run into other issues if they start switching dates.
I like the idea of meeting with the officiant, if needed, earlier in the week. I told her I may just take that week off work, since the Saturday before is when I'm throwing her Bach. I'd start vacay Sat Aug 13, and not go back until Mon Aug 22. That way if she needs me for anything, I can be there.
Ok. I feel better. Now let's hope DH's brother doesn't plan anything at that time, and I'll be fine
July 10, 2010 Best. Day. Of. Life.
I think at this point it is a little early to plan out a full weekend of events... things can change... maybe the location/time/date of the rehearsal will change, etc.
However, I would not feel bad about going to the wedding. She should be reasonable and understand that a rehearsal is convenient, yes, but it is not difficult the be filled in later that night/the next morning about how the couple wants the wedding party to walk down the aisle. I would hope she would come to her senses and be more understanding of the situation. If not, I would ask her if she would be okay with important friends missing her wedding to attend someone else's RD. Maybe she needs a little perspective.