Every night sex

Pinkcar21 · November 2010

My hubby and I have been married for almost two months. We seem to be on different pages all of the sudden in the bedroom. He wants to be intimate every night right when we go to bed. I find it gets annoying. I am ready to sleep, some nights knowing I have to get up early in the morning, and he wants to play. When I turn him down nicely and explain logical reasons, he gets upset and says he's going to quit trying because he keeps getting shot down. I don't understand why he doesn't want to while we are both just lounging in the evenings. What do I do?

srgw · November 2010

Why don't you initiate in the evenings while you're just lounging? Or do you and he turns you down? It sounds like there's a lack of communication and/or compromise. Why don't you sit down and discuss this issue but not right before or after sex.

stemms8810 · November 2010

Ditto the PP and also maybe you both could compromise with when you have sex. Sometimes before bed, in the evening, and an occasional morning on the weekend?

Tough Taters · November 2010

Sounds like he's always the one to initiate sex....and granted, if he's trying to get some every night, that doesn't give you much of a chance to initiate it otherwise, haha. But you could try to get him in the mood other than at bedtime....you don't understand why he doesn't try while you're lounging around at night, how come you don't try then? Or, in the morning (set your alarm a little earlier) or on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Maybe you need to show him that you're more than willing to have sex other than just at bedtime.

And of course, you could do something crazy, like talk to him about it, other than when you're turning him down. Wink

Alisha_A · November 2010

I don't understand why he doesn't want to while we are both just lounging in the evenings. What do I do?

So you're wondering why he doesn't know you'd rather do it then?

How about compromising and going to be 20 minutes earlier?

edielaura · November 2010

I have this EXACT same problem! I have specifically told FI I'd rather it be earlier in the evening but sometimes he's so busy watching tv that it seems like he only wants it when it's convenient for him.

I do like the going to be 20 minutes earlier part.

edielaura · November 2010

Duplicate.

Moi9296 · November 2010

I agree wiht Alisha, why not go to bed earlier? I'm sure the reason why he wants it every day is becuase you're not giving it up... i'm sure if you'd make time to give it up more often he wouldnt be asking every day...

you want him to understand you on why you dont want to do it (becuase your tired) how about understanding him? he wants YOU...

I'll fool around with my DH whenever he's in the mood, keeps us both happy. I'm sure he does the same with me as i've never been turned down by him.

STOP BEING SELFISH IN ONLY THINKING OF YOUR NEEDS AND COMPROMISE!!!!!

dcontessa · November 2010

I find that in order to "get in the mood" as often as my DH is, both he and I have to be extremely in touch with my emotions. For example, he learned that the more he helps me out around the house, the more appreciative I am of him and the more I naturally want to do it. Another recent discovery involves watching "chick flicks" together. He doesn't mind them too much, and he knows that I can't resist diving on him the moment it's over...so we both win Also, when he takes me out on dates and 'romances' me, I find I'm more in the mood naturally (which also makes the sex better physically and leaves me wanting more the next day).

Men are physical, women are emotional...and this prooves to be true in most areas of the relationship in my opinion.

2hollydolly · November 2010

I agree with compromising on time.

?

Also, something else you could do is see if he would be ok with some quick favors before bed, if you are tired.

benmel31 · November 2010

We love calling each other husband and wife too!

We went through something similar. DH wanted to take my clothes off the moment I got home from work...every night. I needed some decompress time. We talked about this and realized that I feel close to him just lounging, but the lounging makes him just want me. Just talking things out helped. We are definitely having sex more regularly, and we are loving it. It makes us feel really close to each other.

aadewitt · November 2010

The same thing sort of happened with me, DH would want sex pretty much like you at night before bed..and I was ready for bed. (though I don't work I still wanted to go to bed). And DH started getting upset that I was shutting him down. How we are working it out...is we talked about it. I saw where he was coming from in that He always initiates and I always shoot him down (kind of making him feel less manly and less sexy)

So he said he wasn't going to initiate anymore. So what happened was I really wanted it one night and I asked for it (a few times he did turn me down...but then I was able to convince him!) I also tried to initiate in the earlier evening when we are just hanging out, and for the most part he doesn't say no.

Def talk it out with him and figure out a happy medium.

buggy1234 · November 2010

So i have the exact opposite problem. I want to have sex way more than my husband, its horrible. we have talked we have compromised, I would like it every day, he wants it maybe once a week, the comprimise was three times a week, but that has become maybe once a week. We have talked, but it just turns into a fight. Nothing has worked. it basically has come down to the fact that i am not allowed to bring it up, thus I am lucky if we do it once a week. I am 25 and he is 26, i dont really feel like this is something we should have to deal with, we have been married three months. But i would say, at least you know you DH is attracted to you...

xnbride · November 2010

I highly recommend establishing sex time every day or every other day. I know alot of people scoff at the idea of "scheduling" sex but let me tell you it is great. It takes alot of the pressure off re initiating, timing, mood, emotion etc.We even have sex when we are mad at eachother. It is hard to stay mad at someone after an orgasm.

My DH and I do it every day after the kids go to sleep. On the weekends we usually do it during naptime. I personally prefer morning sex, but it just is not practical at this time so I have adapted to evening sex.

It takes time at first, but eventually your body will crave it and if you miss a day then you will feel it big time. I highly recommend making it a part of your routine. I wish we would have done this sooner. It took us a few years to get it but once we did, it has been fantastic.

luckeegurl · November 2010

(Responding to the chick who wants it more than her man)

OMG that is my prob too! I had to shut down my libido a bit, stop watching porn (I'm totally a "guy" in the relationship!), and get a little vibrator and hide it in the shower. ;-) So I gained a bit of weight but I'm happy with my man. If you get along with your man, consider yourself lucky! When I think about all the crappy guys I dated (although they were gooood in bed!) and what they put me though, I'm happy to have a steady guy who just wants to do it on the weekends. ;-)

apardy131 · November 2010

I know exactly how you feel! There are nights when we just go to bed and cuddle and that is fine with both of us. The other day he got home from work early, I got out of the shower and put something "nice" on. I go out to show him and he says "but it is not even bed time yet" So I said WHAT! since when do we have to wait until bed time to fool around!

I don't understand why he doesn't want to while we are both just lounging in the evenings

I have thought the same thing on nights that I am tired when we go to bed.

Every night sex

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