March 2009 Weddings
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my mother dearest is pissing me off.

hormones or not, she's driving me batty.

she and my sis have been fighting big time. She is getting an earful from my grandmother (her mom) also.

so i hear it from my sis, listen, offer advice when she wants it, etc.it's really stupid, and my mom is being mean towards my sister...not really understanding what the repercussions of her words are doing. She really should just suck it up, apologize, as should my sister, and move on.

My sister has also told me that my mother has been saying she thinks I'm going to have a hard time getting pregnant bc of my stress levels at work, and that I work out too much. Meddle Meddle.

i am hosting turkey day...i am including my sis's il's. my mother & ils aren't getting along very well (well they are, but quite frankly, my mom has some issues w them she needs to figure out...). So i call her today to see who else she wants to include (eg my grandmother/aunt OR great uncle and his fam, they both can't be there together, long story)...fine, she'll think about it and get back to me..

So I try to make small talk, it's clear she is in a down/pissy mood. So finally I talk about how we saw my friends baby. She immediatly criticizes the name choice (friends H is off the boat Irish and she is part Irish also) and it's a very Irish name. My mother critiques how awful it is. I say, well some people have different opinions, and it's their choice. She keeps going. So then she goes on to say how she saw the photo of the baby and he doesn't look cute. Ugh. That's when I was like...Ok. I have to go. Have a good night. And said OK, bye.  It's like, for fvcks sake, really, must you have a g-d damn opinion on EVERYTHING?

WTF????I love my mom but boy oh boy...she's pissing me off.

So I told my sister what she said and joking said she better snap her attitude into shape by Friday or someone is not going to find out she's going to be a grandmother again. I kid, but not totally.

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Re: my mother dearest is pissing me off.

  • Going to have trouble conceiving, huh?  Ha, she should only know!

    I know what you're going through - my mother and sister like to complain to me about each other when they're fighting too.  I just nod a lot.

    And do we have the same mother?  My mother is ALWAYS judgy about my friends' kids' names!  And their looks, too - she'll throw out "that's an ugly kid" left & right, but also hates most of my friends' kids' names.

    I actively like some of the names she hates (and tell her every. freaking. time. she brings it up... which is pretty much every time she hears about them) and the rest I just see as other people's decisions and not to be disparaged.  Seriously.

    I'm really curious what the Irish name is, though, 'cause I generally really love Irish names.

  • imageLarissaAnn:

    I'm really curious what the Irish name is, though, 'cause I generally really love Irish names.

    Me too. We're thinking of Liam if we have a boy (actually we're 99% sure on this one) which I just found out is a very popular Irish boy name right now. So we're going to be trendy like that, I don't care.

    As far as her judgey-ness goes, just try to remember that it's situational. I would probably have said "well it's a good think that it's their baby and not yours so you don't have to live with it" but I am snarky with my mom on occasion.

  • imagealigator423uf:
    As far as her judgey-ness goes, just try to remember that it's situational. I would probably have said "well it's a good think that it's their baby and not yours so you don't have to live with it" but I am snarky with my mom on occasion.

    I've said something like this to my mother.  I have friends with a daughter named Phoebe.  I happen to like the name Phoebe, but I also know it comes from Greek gods and mythology & all that.  My mother, who used to be well educated but forgot most of it, I think, thinks it's awful and does not hesitate to tell me EVERY TIME I MENTION THEM.  I'm always:

    Yes, mom.  You've told me.  I like the name.  And at any rate, it's their choice, and no one in your family, so be happy about that.

    It makes me want to have a kid just to name it Phoebe... even if it's a boy.  Just 'cause I'm contrary like that.

  • imageLarissaAnn:

    I'm really curious what the Irish name is, though, 'cause I generally really love Irish names.

    Me too!

    I'm sorry Jackie. It is no fun being in the middle, especially when it is your family. I commend you for keeping your cool with her. I would have told her to STFU a loooong time ago!

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  • imagealigator423uf:
    imageLarissaAnn:

    I'm really curious what the Irish name is, though, 'cause I generally really love Irish names.

    Me too. We're thinking of Liam if we have a boy (actually we're 99% sure on this one) which I just found out is a very popular Irish boy name right now.

    Me too, and I love Liam, we want William for a boy and I'm trying to talk DH into Liam

    And Jackie, you're doing good at trying to keep your cool, and just think how good it's going to be to tell your Mother she is going to be a grandmother.

  • So the name is Declan, NMS, but not my kid. It's my best friends kid, it's like, just deal with it.

    Thanks guys...She's being a negative nancy these days to my sister and to everyone else- if my grandmother starts in on her, she trickles it down to everyone else. Not right, but that's what they do. 

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  • sorry there's tension, you certainly don't need that right now. :(

    so you did tell your sis? and you're going to tell your parents this weekend? that's exciting! to be snarky, you can pick another not-so-common irish name and tell her you already decided on that if you have a boy ;)

  • imageamethyst1220:

    sorry there's tension, you certainly don't need that right now. :(

    so you did tell your sis? and you're going to tell your parents this weekend? that's exciting! to be snarky, you can pick another not-so-common irish name and tell her you already decided on that if you have a boy ;)

    Yeah, I had to tell her, I needed someone to talk to!!!

    Provided the U/S Thurs goes well, the parentals will all find out this weekend...and we'll need to tell his brother and his wife, also. 

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  • My mom does this sh!t all the time. It's like really? Get over it. I swear to you the woman is crazy.
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  • is the u/s this week to date the pregnancy?
  • Pam, possibly. I have already been to the hosp and they dated me about 6w last week. She did say she was going to do another u/s since she hasnt seen me yet.
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  • enjoy seeing your little bean :)
  • imageiheartcutepuppies:

    So the name is Declan, NMS, but not my kid. It's my best friends kid, it's like, just deal with it.

    Thanks guys...She's being a negative nancy these days to my sister and to everyone else- if my grandmother starts in on her, she trickles it down to everyone else. Not right, but that's what they do. 

    This is totally my family, including the way my mom and sis can be with each other.  It really sucks when you get drawn into their drama.   I think you are handling it wonderfully though!

     

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  • I love the name Declan!  I have a friend with a son named Declan too.
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