I love you very much and you're seriously adorable but would you please stop eating random stuff? I don't want to have to kennel you while I'm in the shower because you eat my jigsaw puzzle off the table. We already have to baby gate the kitchen off because of your intense love for all things dairy - butter being your most favorite item to lick/eat closely followed by cheese. I've learned my lesson the hard way that you have a "go go gadget" neck and can stretch rediculously far out and pull stuff of the counter even with the gate up so I cook in about 1 square inch in the kitchen.
Why are you so naughty?! Why did you eat your daddy's Ugg slippers that cost more than we spent to adopt you (and why did your Daddy who knows you're a shoe cleptomaniac leave them out where you could get them in the first place??)? And how did you do it so fast? And why, when your mom has a raging headache, do you find your squeaky toys to be the most entertaining items in the house? If my head wasn't hurting so bad, I would have rounded them up and put them in a closet where you couldnt' get them, leaving you no option but the quiet toys.
*sigh* I love you Lucy-fur but please please please stop being such a booger.
Love, mom.
Re: Dear doggie