Caribbean Nesties
CaptainSerious
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Update on Us
It's amazing how quickly things can change. We've had several good weeks with M, and although we know that we'll have more challenging times ahead, we also know that we've made some amazing forward progress. It's amazing how great things feel lately, even when M's testing us. We can just feel the difference; he knows this is different than anything he's ever been around before, and he's starting not only like it, but to trust it (and us). Life is good.
Here's some more: http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/45406775/ShowThread.aspx#45406775.
Re: Update on Us
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
1. How much of the process could we expedite the second time around? What will we have to redo, and will the costs remain the same? Are we really ready to go through all the paper-chase nonsense again?
2. Can we legally adopt this child we have in mind (the Hague Convention prohibits adopting a child if you have previously met them or their caretakers, but I think there's an exception for people who met them in accordance with the country's adoption laws--I think this applies to us)?
3. How severe is his medical condition? Is it likely to require intensive, lifelong intervention or care? What is his prognosis, especially in light of the fact that he hasn't been getting the care he needs (he's 4 years old)?
4. If we do not adopt that particular child, who has really touched our hearts, would we consider another from the same orphanage? If not, has our openness to various medical conditions and situations changed? Do we want to go ahead and adopt another waiting child, regardless of any previous connection to M?
2013 Calendars and More!
Thank you for sharing your updates with us. I'm so glad things are going so well for you guys! I know there are serious questions you have to answer before you can get on the adoption train again, but just the idea of adopting a brother M knows is making me smile.
Thanks for the update! That would be really cool if you could bring in a child that M already knows. How long would you want to wait before adopting again? I can imagine the typical jealousy issues an older sibling experiences when the new sibling arrives can be complicated when you're still adjusting to life together.
I've been meaning to ask -- when you share these updates, could you just C&P the post instead of providing a link? I admit I am wholeheartedly lazy, and I'd rather not have to go to another board to read it and come back here to comment.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
No. No one in real life does. We will not ask him for permission to add more children to the family, but we will discuss it with him at some point before we start the actual process, to see what he thinks and feels about it all. Right now, he's in a toddler phase where he often says "no" when he means "yes" and makes decisions based on how he feels in the moment and not necessarily what he would like an hour/day/week from now.
His feelings are important to us, but they will not be the sole factor in our decision. M said once (in passing) that he likes our house because he is the only child, but that's because he likes getting personalized attention. He's never had anything like that before. He also is constantly longing for someone to play and be close with. He doesn't understand that if he had a sibling, he would still get plenty of time and attention from us. He's only used to the other extreme.
Before we have any more children, we plan to make sure that he understands that we're not "replacing" him, and that we are not taking any love away from him to give to the other child; love grows to fit, and he will remain just as important to us as he is now.
We will not adopt any child he already knows without his express consent and blessing.
2013 Calendars and More!
We know it's really early to add to our family already, but we also know how long the process takes, so we decided there's no harm in getting the information we need to decide if we will adopt again or not. Once we make that decision, our next decision will be if we feel capable of adopting this particular boy. If so, we'd like to move along as quickly as possible, so we can get him the medical care he needs. If not, we will be able to decide if we'd like to start the process right away or wait a little while longer. Knowing how long and involved the process is, we'll likely begin sooner rather than later.
So, if I make that first call in January, it would likely take us at least a year to complete the adoption, which means not bringing the new child home until 2012. That's why we are starting to think about it now. We figure that we'll have at least a year and a half with M as an only child and be well past the transition phase by the time we add another child to the family dynamics.
No problem, Cali, I will C&P. I actually thought people preferred the link, for some reason.
ET Change 2011 to 2012. The earliest we'd be able to bring a child home would be 2012.
2013 Calendars and More!
2013 Calendars and More!
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
2013 Calendars and More!