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How to calm down after bad inlaw visit
This past weekend DH and I were at a wedding that his parents and my mom and step dad also attended.
We had come up with a family plan a few weeks ago regarding all four of the parents behaviour and felt confident we would be ok. Our goal was to keep their crazy away from the bride (my sister) and keep things calm. My actual job as a bridesmaid was to "keep mom away from bride". 
Weddings seem to bring out the worst in people so needless to say the entire past 3 days were filled with drama. DH and I just smiled, nodded and quickly left from them as we had planned.
What they said and did isn't the problem. DH and I looked at each other when we left and said how do we just leave this here? How do we get over it.
I said to him that I didn't want to spend anymore time talking about how much I don't like our four parents behaviour and unless I say different for him to just assume it was a bad visit. That way I don't have to get upset about it.
This morning though we both had a mini vent about it together and their shitastic behaviour...I felt better and worse for it.
We've already limited contact with all four of them but there are times like this past weekend were we have to be around them. I'm looking for tips on dealing with the aftermath.
Thanks 
Re: How to calm down after bad inlaw visit
Well, talking it out sounds pretty good. Maybe trying not to *** about it, but talk about your feelings. Like "I felt.... because...." Don't give into anger or angry talk as that seems a vicious circle it's hard to get out of.
A little off the beaten path, but you could try having a ritual. I read once about a woman who burned some incence or sage to "clear the air" after dealing with a particularly abrasive person.
I think a brief talk with your husband about it is good therapy. In a "vent/get it out" kind of way. But dont dwell too long because it allows feeling to fester.
What works for me is Acceptance. Knowing that I cant change who they are, their behavior. But I CAN change how much access they get to my husband and I. And thats none. And it works for us.
Tequila.
A big glass of wine.
I think that talking about it CAN help. Just agree to keep it to a limited time frame.
I'm also wondering why your ILS came to your sister's wedding, if they are so hard to manage? Why didn't you tell your sister "look, it's hard enough to handle mom and stepdad. I can't tell you who to invite, but is it necessary to invite FIL and MIL as well? Don't invite them as a favor to me!"
I would also add....you can also control future events when YOU are the hosts. For example, my FIL/MIL NEVER sat at our table, and neither did my mom and dad. I love my parents, but my mom can annoy me. And FIL was just as happy to sit with his siblings.
Agreed!
We talk it out, plan a strategy for next time.
Suport each other when the strategy rufffles feathers. It does. A LOT. we feel bad, its hard to stick to our guns.
We laugh a lot. It's important to us to be on good terms, even amid the chaos.
Then we have sex.
The sex helps.
A lot.
Then we laugh at them a bit more. Yell about how they are unfair and never change.
We agree at how unfair they are (both sides).
Then we re-connect with each other.
It's hard that they never change.
But we let us make it us stronger, not easier to cave. My sister caves a lot. That seems to work for her.
Not us.
We laugh at them.
Eventually.
I've tried crying and wondering what I'm doing to make them act like this to me.
Yelling at DH about how much I hate them and never want to see them again.
Avoiding talking about it at all and having it completely eat me up inside.
Then DH bought me a punching bag after a particularly bad experience with the ILs and now that's my favorite way of handling the emotions from dealing with them.
A bit childish and I'll admit it, most of the time I'm imagining smacking my MIL and SIL instead. We have a quick vent about what crappy people they are and I spend like 30 minutes in the gym with my punching bag and in the end I get my frustrations out without yelling at them or taking my bad mood out on DH. Plus I get a workout so it's the best way for me/us. 