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My Daughter...Grrr
So I guess she left the house at 4pm last night from her dads and didn't return until 10:30 or 11:00am today. Soon as she got home she went to her room and went to bed. While she was out she ignored everyones texts and calls. No one told me last night. I wasn't told anything till this morning. They are 18 now so I have no say in what she does as she doesn't live with me. The Stepmother calls me asking me what to do. REALLY???
She was out all night with some guy... no one knows him. She has a boyfriend (whom I can't stand) I actually feel bad for him right now. He found out about the guy she was hanging out with because he called worried about her to her twin sister. Grrrrr!!!! Really???? She can't understand why he is pissed?!?!
As a mom what am I supposed to do. I can't really help her until she wants help!
Thank you for giving me a place to vent!!! Hugs
Re: My Daughter...Grrr
Yes it is!!!! Grrrr
I think so
Hhmmm I really don't have any advice. I was the "good girl", I never did anything like that so I really don't know what to say. Since she lives with her dad that makes it harder. She probably wouldn't listen to the whole "my house, my rules" spill from him would she?
Yeah, that is what kept me out of a lot of trouble when I was her age. My parents were paying for my school & food allowance, etc. So if I misbehaved, I would have been cut off.
It stinks but hopefully she will realize that what she is doing isn't the right path for her. *hugs*
Oh I was the same way! I behaved because I liked having a roof over my head and clothes on my back food in my stomach. She doesn't seem to think anyone would throw her out. She doesn't live with me because of the lies and half truths and bull chit that she pulled at my house. I told her I can't trust her at all and it isn't ok at all. She thought my rules were to tough. She asked her dad if she could live with him and of course accepted her with open arms. Thinking of course I was over reacting to everything!!! Now he is understanding what I was going through. She can snow you over for a while then it comes crashing down. SHe MELTS down I am talking crazy ranting hysterical tears the whole 9 yards. I tell you what you would think you are talking to a crazy person the way she talks. It is nuts.
I know there is nothing I can do. I just have to vent about it sometimes because my heart hurts for her. I want her to be ok! I can't make her ok she has to do that on her own. I don't know where she gets that entitled feeling. That everyone owes her she wasn't raised that way. Its just hard this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with in all my life.
I moved five hours away from home when I was 17 (university) and I can tell you that it was nothing to spend a night out, crash somewhere, and then roll back to my dorm the next day. Or two days later. Or whenever. I was lucky in a way, because my mom didn't have to know about it. It's part of growing up.
With that said, I was also expected to be responsible for myself. I had to prove that I was doing well in school, I had to pay my bills, feed myself, get around an unfamiliar city...in short, I got to play like an adult, but I had to act like one in other aspects of life as well.
What are the consequences of her acting like this at her father's house? He should explain to her that adults have to be adults. If she wants to live like a teenager (under his roof, her parents feeding and clothing and taking care of her) then she can follow the rules like any other teenager. But if she wants to be her own person (which is fine! She should be!) then she will need to either pay rent and bills to him, or find an apartment.
And that either way, you're going to love her and be there for her.
J pretty much what you said is how I feel.
I told the stepmom you need to tell her my rules or the highway your choice!!!
Hayley - Its pretty much anything you can think of. I wouldn't put it past her!!!