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Mental Health Issues
I know there had been some discussion about this before and some of you have either personally dealt with issues or are/have dealt with family who has suffered with mental issues.
We are having tons of problems with my oldest son. This has been ongoing, but I guess I assumed that by getting him home and into the therapies and seeing doctors that he needs, he'd at least start doing a little better. He's not...it keeps getting worse.
We've started dealing with him admitting to fantasizing about killing people, he has been increasingly verbally disruptive and disrespectful to everyone, he's failing every class in school, and this past weekend he physically tried to attack my husband. (Luckily my husband used to wrestle and is a lot stronger than Dev, he had him on the floor and restrained within a minute.) Regardless...it's created this completely stressful situation that has us and all the kids completely on edge.
We now have Dev under psychiatric care, on 4 different meds, and in counseling twice a week. They have him diagnosed as: major depressive mood disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, adjustment disorder, severe social anxiety disorder, and ADHD.
We have spent the last 2 weeks wondering if he's going to try to hurt anyone, if he's going to try to hurt himself, and every morning I wake him up I wonder if this is the morning I'll find him dead.
We are getting signed up for a program to have a behavioral therapist come to our home regularly to work with him. We have resources now that we need to look into for parent support groups.
Matt & I are just completely frazzled by all of this...and poor Matt is just totally the target for all of Dev's anger. I'm not really asking anything here...just needed to vent. I haven't been able to work on my 2 final papers that are supposed to be submitted next week...and am thinking of requesting an extension.
I'm just totally stressed, exhausted, emotionally and physically drained. 
If you read all this...go get a nice big warm brownie...you deserve it! Thanks for listening/reading.
Re: Mental Health Issues
Oh my gosh Keryn I'm really sorry to hear all this. That's so tough... and scary.
Have you thought about having him committed for therapy? Before it gets worse? Or maybe it sounds like you might have tried that already. It sounds like you're doing a great job of staying ontop of it all, regardless.
Hugs to you and you're family! I hope you can get it all figured out.
oh my goodness, im so sorry you are all dealing with this. definitely ask for that extension for your papers...its completely understandable!.
ive had experience with depression, but not anything to this extent, so i dont really know what else you can do. it sounds like you are doign all you can right now, and i hope all the therapies help.
we're here for you in the mean time. lots of knottie/nestie vibes and hugs!!
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Lots of hugs Keryn! I'm really sorry you're dealing with all this right now. But it sounds like you're doing everything you can for him which is great. What sort of things are being done for him at school? Is he in special classrooms for his classes? Does he see the school psychologist as well? Just throwing out some other suggestions - DH works with emotional & behvorial kids at the middle school level and I'm just thinking of things off the top of my head that they do for kids like Dev.
Hang in there. I can't imagine how hard this is for you and your family.
I'm so sorry to hear this! *hugs* If it is any help at all, let me tell you a little bit about a young boy I used to babysit. He came from an abusive situation, was put in foster care and eventually adoptive. He was adopted by a wonderful and caring couple. I believe he was only 4 when that family took him in (he is now 12 or 13) and I babysat him from then until a couple of years ago (though I am still in contact with the family). To say that he was bad is an understatement. He would get in these 'moods' where he would listen to no one, do nothing but lay limp on the floor, get extremely violent, etc. He certainly scared me at times, making me fear that he would either hurt himself or someone else. He was diagnosed with quite a few things, including oppositional defiant disorder, depression and ADHD. He was getting help and on a medication but he still had his 'moods' quite often.
Then a couple of years ago he did something quite horrible. In a fit of anger, he hurt his sister pretty bad. That caused him to be commited for a few days and start a brand new treatment program.
You would not believe the change that I now see in him. He is much calmer and his 'moods' are less frequent. He is also getting along much better with his siblings.
Now, I don't know much about what that new treatment program involves but I'm telling you this more to show that there is hope. If what you are doing now for your son isn't working after so much time, see about trying something else. Also, don't be afraid to commit him if it ever gets to bad. In the case of this boy, that was the rock bottom point for him but also the turning point. Just keep faith and don't give up on him!
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Thanks ladies.
We have been trying to get services through his school for over a month now. I finally wrote a letter last week to the principal about the amount of time it is taking to get a response, and they just called today to let me know they are at least working on things.
We have looked into treatment centers, even as far away as Utah, for ones that could meet his needs. (they act as a boarding school/treatment center in one) We've already told him that this is a possibility he may be sent there. However, we are also faced with the reality of $30,000.00 out of pocket expense for this. But will do it if necessary.
Plus we have what's called "Rescue Crisis" locally that can admit him 24/7 if need be and keep him for a 3-5 day "stabilization." And if necessary...we'll call the cops.
We're hoping to just make it through day by day until the meds kick in and the home therapy starts up. Plus..I'm keeping him in his drum lessons. It's the one thing he does that he LOVEs...and enjoys...and because he loves it, he treats his teacher with total respect. So we're using his drums more as additional therapy, and are now looking for a drumset for him to have at home.
I am so sorry to hear all of this Keryn
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, I don't have any experience or any advice really but I just wanted to let you know along with the others that you are in our thoughts and lots of hugs and vibes for you!!
I also agree with PP, this is perfectly reasonable for you to ask for an extension on your papers, I think your profs would be really understanding about it if you explained it to them.
I'm really sorry to hear about everything going on with your son! I get how it would impact your day-to-day life so deeply, and I would imagine your professors would be sympathetic if you are honest with them.
I would think that not every doctor's methods work with every child, and for situations like this i would imagine the patient and the doctor would have to "click" to form a bond of trust before any sort of treatment will start to work in a positive way. I would definitely look into a parent support group in your area and talk to other parents about what they like/don't like about their own doctors. Take those doctors your son's files and ask about what they would do. If you think a doctor is more fitting to your son's needs and personality, it may be worth having them meet and consider switching. At the same time, real results do take time.
I hope everything starts working out for the better!
jacqui + erik 7.10.10
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Thanks for all the vibes...I really think they helped. Seriously.
I got a call back from not only one of his teachers, but the school psychologist. They are in complete agreement that we need to shift focus with him and get services in place. They are supposed to get back with me by the week's end about a group meeting with all the teachers that we will have before the month is over.
Then, I did go ahead and email both my professors. They have each emailed back already and offered to give me an incomplete if need be so I can take as much time as I need, even a few months, to get them done. Whenever I turn them in, they will grade them at that point and switch my grade in the system. I still want to try getting them in before the semesters end, just because otherwise it delays my graduation. But it's nice to know that option is available.
I truly appreciate all the thoughts and kind wishes. You guys totally rock!
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
I've heard of it before...but never really looked into how the whole process works. I definitely will, though! Thanks.
The good thing is it's the one thing that motivates him, gives him an outlet, and truly makes him happy.
The bad thing is its the excuse he uses as to why it doesn't matter if he ever finishes school...since he's going to be a rock star. **head to desk**