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3 people in my family are addicts
My brother just went into rehab for prescription drug abuse. My SIL was at her wit's end with all the lying and everything and told him he can't see her or their 5 month old unless he gets help. He's in an inpatient program now. He said he was relieved, he's sick of lying and everything he's been doing. I pray that he gets the help he needs and is able to lead a clean healthy life.
To add to this, my parents are both alcholics. My dad's admitted it, and did go to AA but he hasn't kept up with it and still drinks. my mom won't admit it to anyone, but my dad said she's told him, and talked about going to a program herself. I knew for myself she drank too much, it's not a surprise. They have marriage problems off and on, and then talk about getting divorced and then miraculously everything is fine again and we proceed like nothing ever happened. Swept under the rug like everything else. I'm wondering if what's going on with my brother will make them take a look in the mirror. Especially if my brother wants them to come to any of his family therapy sessions and this stuff comes out. Truthfully, I'm sick of everything being so hush-hush, and them putting on a good front for everyone else.
My husband has been extremely supportive and told me that if I feel like I need to talk to a therapist he would go with me, or let me go alone if i wanted to. I just don't know how to deal with all this. The thing is, in my family, we don't talk about this kind of stuff. I found out awhile ago my brother had a problem, but I wasn't supposed to know. I need to talk about it, because I love them, and want them to be healthy. I can't sweep things under the rug anymore and pretend like addiction happens to other people and not members of my family. My mom and I used to be close, and now I feel like we're drifting further apart. I think if things don't change my family will be torn apart.
Re: 3 people in my family are addicts
al-anon is incredibly helpful, and i think that therapy would be good for you too. also, there's scientific evidence for a hereditary link in addictions, and since you said that three direct family members have problems, it seems possible in your case. i think the best thing you can do is go to therapy and find a healthy way to deal with your family, so that you can maybe help prevent problems (your own or children's) down the road.
You need to break this cycle of "not talking", for you own sake and for your brother's. Your parents can only help themselves.
Go to Al-Anon, work the steps and yes, see a therapist.
Good luck!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
AlAnon, a therapist and Adult Children of Alcoholics for you, stat.
You need to cut your parents and your bro out of your life until they get help and they're clean and sober and can prove they have been, with the help of a 12 step program.
It's so awesome that your brother is getting help! And it just goes to show that sweeping things under the rug isn't good for anyone---he only got help when your sister-in-law confronted him and put her needs on the table.
My mother-in-law was an alcolohic who died of liver failure last year. My father-in-law largely "suffered in silence," which of course didn't help anyone at all. (If you want, you can read more about what happened with them on my blog: http://bit.ly/bzZnK7)
Have you tried talking to your parents about what's going on with them? Addicts can be very touchy, but the folks at Al-Anon will have some good suggestions on how to broach the topic. And it certainly sounds like your brother is more open about his struggles now; this is a great chance for you to build a more open relationship with him!
Good luck!
Al-Anon and therapy.
Good Luck.
Not likely they will go to therapy; they're heavily in denial and there's enablement clear accross the board here.
Wise for you to avoid addictive situations; steer clear of alcohol, gambling or anything that can bring out your addictive tendency. GL.
I think that both you and your husband would find value in Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is for anyone whose lives have been impacted by the drinking of others. While you are obviously the most directly affected, your husband's life has also been effected by the drinking of your parents through its impact on you.
I have gone to Al-Anon meetings and found them very calming. They don't cost anything, (although they do pass the hat for contributions for the coffee) and you will find that many of your experiences with your family are mirrored in the experiences of others. Usually the meeting starts with reading from the Book (weirdly, the passage will *always* relate to what is going on in your life) and then people share their stories, recent or old. Then you say the Serenity Prayer and go home. It isn't cultish or freaky, just people getting together and sharing their stories.