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Caribbean Dreams (about Bethie and Kristen)
Last night I dreamed I went to my ex-h's standup comedy show (he is far from a standup comedian irl, fyi) and I ran into Bethie and I was like "What are you doing out so late?" and she laughed and said she heard it was going to be a good show. I sat with her awhile until I realized oh crap! I was going to be late for Owen's baptism!
I got to the baptism, which was around a baptismal font in a field somewhere. Everyone else had a measuring cup or spoon that they had gotten off a rack, so I grabbed one and walked over. Then "everyone" turned out to be just Kristen, Owen, and two other people. I think one was Mulva. And I got the sinking realization that I was the only one there who was not of the religion of the baptism. I tried to subtly drop my measuring spoon because I figured it was a faux pas on par with taking Communion in the Catholic church when you're not Catholic.
Then Kristen told me she was going to baptize ME. I started to freak out and suggested we wait for Bethie (who was also not of the same religion) because she was on her way! But Kristen's pushy and very devout so she started the ceremony anyway. Which entailed dumping a cup of honey on my head, and the other people present started arranging the streams of honey coming down my face into some sort of pattern.
Then I woke up THANK GOD because Kristen, you're cool and all, but that was kind of freaky and I wasn't looking forward to getting all that honey out of my hair.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Re: Caribbean Dreams (about Bethie and Kristen)
Kristen, I am sick and tired of your pushy preachy ways! Repent!
My dream last night was influenced by Vicki reminding me of the tampon story. So I dreamt that I had a tampon hanging halfway out of me which was weird since I was 7 months pregnant.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Your post title has put the song Caribbean Queen in my head.
Kristen, I think you need to reassess your priorities and focus more on your child's eternal soul and less on my pores. I have been breaking out more lately, yes, but you don't have to draw so much attention to it.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I've noticed how stressed you've been lately. I'm glad my little gift helped.
I guess this is why some guys are insecure about their wives hanging with divorced chicks. Because we're all about the infidelity and male escorts.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I was in a fun house with baby Evie the other night taking pictures of her and Noisy started fighting me for my camera because she didn't want me to post them. Then I was on a boat.
The end.
I also dreamed about Noisy last night!
She was upset and told us all that she had kicked Lorne out of the house and told him she wanted a divorce because she found a sexted photo from an old coworker. She then showed it to us and it was former tween actress Alexa Vega of "Spy Kids" fame and he was clearly just posing next to her at an event like ComiCon.
We tried to explain to her that Lorne wasn't cheating, he just had weird taste in celebrity crushes.
I'm so sorry, Noisy.
The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
PICTURES DON'T LIE.
Is he piercing her nipple?
LORNE YOU BASTARD!!!!
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy