Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need to vent
A little background: BIL (HH's older brother) and SIL have been having problems for a while now and recently BIL developed 14 ulcers in his stomach, the doc says its due to stress. So he's on some kind of medication to help with the pain and to heal his stomach. BIL is in the process of returning to pharmacy school so he's not working, on SIL is.
To make a really long story short, we reluctantly let BIL borrow $140 to pay for his meds on a Saturday 2 weeks ago (he's not exactly trustworthy, but since the money was for his meds HH agreed). We told him we could let him borrow it, but we HAD TO HAVE IT BACK. We couldn't afford to just give it to him free and clear. He agreed and promised to pay us back on Monday.
Monday comes and goes, no money. HH calls him Tuesday and he says he'll have it to us on Wednesday. Wednesday comes and no money so HH calls him again, this time he won't answer the phone. On Thursday BIL tells HH he's going to cash a check and take the money to the in-laws since HH is at work and that we can get the money there. Thursday evening we call MIL and she hasn't seen or heard from BIL all day, still no money. Once again BIL says he'll bring us the money on Friday. We had to be somewhere Friday evening, so after waiting a little while on BIL we had to leave.
Guess what? We still haven't been paid back and BIL won't answer the phone at all now when we call. We really need that money back and HH is getting very upset with his brother. I'm really frustrated myself. I'm sorry this was so long, but I really needed to vent to someone.
Re: Need to vent
Yuck. That sucks. I think maybe you need to write that money off as gone.
I would also not give BIL or his wife Christmas gifts this year unless they repay the money... that will help offset the cost a little.
And, of course, the next time he hits you up for a loan, all you have to do is say, "Well, Jim, I would, but we never got back the last loan we gave you, so I don't think so."
i agree with both the girls, money and family sux. And I know you guys wanted to do the right thing.
We are kinda in that prediciment with HH and his best man. It stinks but HH was like I gave it to him knowing i'd never see it again, sigh, sometimes my HH is a moron.
I agree w/ pps. I can't say I would have done anything different in your situation but it's still not fair.
I'm sure BIL is embarassed he can't pay you back and is avoiding it. Unless he's really a jerk and is trying to avoid you unti you guys "forget" or "let it go."
I say no xmas gifts for BIL/SIL and confront them at thanskgiving and/or xmas. Not sure how much it would cost, but you could probably find a cheap lawyer and take them to small claims court. I bet BIL would pay you back after he got the papers from the lawyer.
I think MIL has actually already tried talking to him. She feels horrible about the situation because he actually called her first and they couldn't give it to him, so she called us asking if we had it. She told us he had always paid her back though so that was one reason HH gave it to him.
HH has already said never again. We let his other brother borrow more than that once and he has never paid us back either. I'm so thankful I picked the brother with the good head on his shoulders!
Yeah, live and learn - it sucks but that's usually the case with situations like this.
Not post related but I love your new siggy pic
LOL I say this to myself every day!
me too!
UPDATE: HH finally got a hold of SIL a little while ago. She says she gets paid tomorrow and the will definitely be bringing the money to us then. She couldn't give an explanation on them avoiding our calls though. Hopefully this time they're telling the truth...
Stu, we would never take them to court, just not worth it.
Thanks MrsGoontz!
That stinks Katy. It's hard to say no when someone is talking about getting prescriptions that will give them relief. If you don't get the money back this weekend, like SIL promised, then you might want to make an adjustment to your budget and write it off.
I learned a long time ago that you should never, ever "loan" money to a family member, or even a close friend. Even if everybody does what they say they're going to do, it creates a tension that didn't exist before the transaction occurred. If you aren't in a position to give the money to someone (and by give, I mean you won't be getting it back) then you just can't help them. So many relationships are lost over money and it's just not worth it. Good luck.