Family Matters
sapphireblue
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Repost of DD-MIL helped us and gave my H clothes
Its been done, MILSo, I've been married for 2 years now and gettting along with my MIL well. I've put up with some stuff we wont get into. For the most part, my MIL has been "decent." She's always helped us out by watching our dog and cats when we've asked her (We only live like 1 mile from her) and I've acutally enjoyer her. She's never done anything to make me dislike her. My MIL has 7 children and my man is only acknowledged when he does something significant. I do have an issue with this, hes wonderful and when he does something, its always acknowledged only by her (not his dad) when it's wrong to them or later after it's done. He knows this but it doesn't seem to bother him.Last week my husband had his appendix removed. We went to the ER on Mon night and he was able to come home on Tues. Monday I took off of work (I am a nurse at our local hospital where he was.) and Tuesday I went back. Monday was fine, we spent the day in the hospital. My family came to visit, but neither his mother or father came to see him while in the hospital. BUT, his mother did come up and cleaned our entire house!! Then took all of our laundry to her house and brought it back later in the evening. She even made our bed, and had my underwear in the laundry. (Which I'm sorry, bothered me.) So I delt with it. Small clothes and all. (She puts everything in the dryer, I do not. I couldn't even get my jeans on.) He had some bleeding from his incision on Tuesday which she came up to help with, since I was at work. My hubby called me and talked to me. He told me to stay at work, his mom was here. Well, Tues. we ended up in ER with bleeding. Stayed home on WED, all went well.I've been working and took 2 days off to care for my hubby, and then returned to work. Tonight I worked 3-11. His mother has not been up here since the morning he had to help him with the bleeding. So tonight I come home to fine a present on the table of some new "Adidas" pants, PJ pants, and candy. I make decent money but I take it as "Here ya go, your wife doesn't buy you good enough stuff, or do enough for you." We don't usually buy name brand, we try to save. He did have some shirts that go mildly bloody but she cleaned them and I cleaned others. My hubby is capable of going to buy new stuff if needed. I guess what I'm asking,Am I wrong to be upset? I never asked her to help - AT ALL! I just feel like she came into my house and assumed I couldn't do everything. (I do work full time and she has always been a stay at home mom.) My hubbys upset cause I mentioned something to him about being upset, and he didn't understand. Am I wrong and what do I say? How do I not let her in my house while we are not here? (Apparently, I need to lock the doors!) All I have to say is, "Thanks for letting me vent..." ReportBlock
Reply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 3:50 AM
lilmadison
Joined on 10-10-2007Los Angeles102 Posts1,613 Points
So let me get this straight. Your MIL cleaned your house, did your laundry, took care of your husband while you were at work, and bought him a get well gift, at her own will just to be nice to her son and his wife, and you're upset? Why?! Maybe I'm dense, but am I missing something? ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 3:52 AM
erinbkJoined on 11-17-20102 Posts66 PointsI guess it's the fact she talks bad about people. What it comes to is I cant do it all. But really, do you want your MIL in your personal space and washing your underwear?? I'm sorry, it still bothers me. ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 4:47 AMKateLouiseJoined on 08-24-2002New Zealand4,389 Posts90,821 Points
I wouldn't want my MIL in my underwear, but this doesn't strike me as an overbearing MIL who routinely oversteps boundaries because you married a Momma's boy.This seems to me as someone working hard to do some genuinely nice things for you when you were having a difficult few days. Yeah overstepped a touch and didn't do your laundry quite how you like it but that's relaly all you have to complain about?I would let this go.9-12 Siggy Challenge
ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 4:54 AMlilmadisonJoined on 10-10-2007Los Angeles102 Posts1,613 Points
erinbk:I guess it's the fact she talks bad about people. What it comes to is I cant do it all. But really, do you want your MIL in your personal space and washing your underwear?? I'm sorry, it still bothers me.Would I ask my MIL to wash my dirty underwear? Never. But would I be upset if she did it while doing something nice for my H and I? Absolutely not.I think you're being a little insecure about this. You think she's doing this because she thinks you can't do it all or can't do it right or whatever. But it seems she's just doing this because she loves her son and wants to do nice things for him and his wife who's taking care of him and working at the same time. There are far worse MILs. Let it go. ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 6:17 AM
magsugar13<div class="ForumPostUserAreaDiv
Reply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 3:50 AMlilmadisonJoined on 10-10-2007Los Angeles102 Posts1,613 PointsSo let me get this straight. Your MIL cleaned your house, did your laundry, took care of your husband while you were at work, and bought him a get well gift, at her own will just to be nice to her son and his wife, and you're upset? Why?! Maybe I'm dense, but am I missing something? ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 3:52 AMerinbkJoined on 11-17-20102 Posts66 PointsI guess it's the fact she talks bad about people. What it comes to is I cant do it all. But really, do you want your MIL in your personal space and washing your underwear?? I'm sorry, it still bothers me. ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 4:47 AMKateLouiseJoined on 08-24-2002New Zealand4,389 Posts90,821 PointsI wouldn't want my MIL in my underwear, but this doesn't strike me as an overbearing MIL who routinely oversteps boundaries because you married a Momma's boy.This seems to me as someone working hard to do some genuinely nice things for you when you were having a difficult few days. Yeah overstepped a touch and didn't do your laundry quite how you like it but that's relaly all you have to complain about?I would let this go.9-12 Siggy Challenge
ReportBlock
Reply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 4:54 AMlilmadisonJoined on 10-10-2007Los Angeles102 Posts1,613 Points erinbk:I guess it's the fact she talks bad about people. What it comes to is I cant do it all. But really, do you want your MIL in your personal space and washing your underwear?? I'm sorry, it still bothers me.Would I ask my MIL to wash my dirty underwear? Never. But would I be upset if she did it while doing something nice for my H and I? Absolutely not.I think you're being a little insecure about this. You think she's doing this because she thinks you can't do it all or can't do it right or whatever. But it seems she's just doing this because she loves her son and wants to do nice things for him and his wife who's taking care of him and working at the same time. There are far worse MILs. Let it go. ReportBlockReply Quote Contact11-17-2010 at 6:17 AMmagsugar13<div class="ForumPostUserAreaDiv
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Re: Repost of DD-MIL helped us and gave my H clothes
Saw the thread yesterday on the DD but last night was busy so sorry it is so late. This is a good one though--it's no chix and noodles or the McDonald's "my H is a great man" but still good.
Sorry it posted twice, not sure why that happened...