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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Holiday Traditions
I'm curious about how other people view their family's holiday rituals, and how easily you accept change. Does your family go to the same place every year, and eat the same food? Is it a big deal to change the routine?
I think next year we're going to want to do Christmas at our house. My parents have hosted since my sister and I were 2, with changes in the guest list as people have moved away and cousins have had kids. For the last few years, it has just been my mom and dad, Fran and me, and my father's brother and sister. My parents will not have an issue with the switch but my aunt and uncle are pretty resistant to change.
Re: Holiday Traditions
I base my love for holiday traditions on food. When I don't celebrate that holiday with my mom's food, I always feel like something is missing.
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
We're going to my ILs for Thanksgiving. They don't have stuffing for the holiday, and I'm all, 'wha?!' Instead, my MIL makes corn pudding, which is delicious, but is no substitute for stuffing. I believe my mom will be bringing stuffing this year.
Also, I've got to vent about my FIL because he's the same every holiday - he does not lift a finger to help. He sees my MIL slave away in the kitchen, won't even help her lift the turkey in and out of the oven. Then, he sits down at the table, and barks out orders for food, bangs his glass on the table and yells, 'I need some ice and soda here', gets up when he's done, and leaves all his stuff on the table. It's barbaric.
I love my ILs, but my MIL created a monster in letting him get away with his behavior all these years. It's not like the man's going to change now that he's in his late 60s, but it still annoys the crap out of me. My H is not in any way the model cook/cleaner, but he's certainly leap years ahead of his dad. I just think MIL did a disservice to herself, and to her sons - they grew up thinking that this sort of rude behavior was appropriate.
We took over Thanksgiving 2 years ago, and we took Christmas last year. My mom did it for the last 15 -20 years, and her mother did it before that. My mom is fine with passing the work on to me, and I love being able to invite my in-laws and not have to travel from house to house on a holiday.
As for aunts and uncles, my opinion is, if they're not hosting, they really have no right to complain about whose house they're being fed at. My aunts and uncles went along with the switch, but there was really no conversation about it, just 'this is where it is.'
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My family started letting go of its traditions after my grandmother died. We held on to the aspects we like most but also brought in some new things. I like the mix. I also became less locked in to my family's holiday plans when I started going to holiday celebrations hosted by my husband's family.
This year, my parents are coming to our house. We're cooking but aren't making any traditional (for us) Thanksgiving food, not even turkey. I'm excited.
I haven't had any holiday traditions since I moved away in 2006. Whoa is me.
Except this Thanksgiving is going to be the greatest Thanksgiving ever! NO FAMILY! Wine! Hot tub! Maybe some gregging! Who knows!
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
Like Winged, our traditions mostly focus on food. Lorne's family has an awesome stuffing recipe that gets used no matter where we are (even by my family) and a sweet potato recipe that everyone likes. My family always has waffles and quiche on Christmas morning, and we do that wherever we are. Lorne and I both insist on making the Christmas cookies we had a kids, so we usually have a lot to give away to people and bring to parties and such. Someone also always makes rice pudding, and hides an almond in it, and if you find the almond you're supposedly getting engaged the next year. (I found the almond the year Lorne and I got engaged; my SIL found the almond the year Lorne's brother asked her to marry him. OOOWEEEOOOO) Our non-food tradition is having kids open pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve.
All holidays down here are spent at Lorne's grandma's house, which is fine - her kitchen is awesome and she has a large entertaining area. When we go home we split time between Lorne's family's house and my mom and brother's. We just do the same things at each place.
You realize this is now burned into my memory as a Thanksgiving memory. Thanks for ruining my sweet potatos dude.
We pretty much had a routine settled of splitting holidays: Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family in the Adirondacks, New Years and Easter with his in Alabama.
Now that we have a kid, I dread tromping from upstate NY, back to NJ for a day or two, and then down to AL. But, we are the only ones with the time and money, so we will do it. Next year, we are hoping my husband's family can join us, most likely in VT, for a white Christmas without all the running around.
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Sadly, I can't remember most of what we drank. Except for the redneck wines.
Claire Elizabeth 12/31/2011
Married Bio
Our Thanksgiving is steeped in traditions. Wednesday night appetizer party is a must. This is my favorite part. All of the adults get drunk and we tell ghost stories and the olds tell stories about old timey stuff and it's a great time.
Thursday we cook the huge ass meal and it's the same every year, sometimes with a few additions. Three turkeys (smoked, fried, baked), ham, casseroles, veggies, pies, and deliciousness. We have a huge family so there is a ton of food. After eating, we go for a walk in the woods. Then the "kids," which includes my 28 year old brother and everybody younger, finds a wagon or something and rolls down the hill until someone gets hurt. Changes are not allowed. My grandma completely freaks out about the fact that I can't eat most of the food.
Christmas is less traditional for us. I think we might be hosting my parents and my bro and SIL this year, which will be sweet. I like that we can sort of do whatever we want on Christmas. It used to be a lot more like the above, but my parents decided they wanted it to be just us when we were kids, so it's easier now. They did the hard work.
The nerve!
House | Blog
I think we may have the same in-laws. It was mind boggling to me because my parents pretty much split everything equally. Then again, my mom is so good at playing the victim, my dad probably helped out of survival instinct.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
for the past 5 years my H and I have always had my dad over for Thanksgiving, my brother and SIL go to her parent's house and I really don't care what my sister and her loser H do. This year my dad is going to his gf's house so it will just be the three of us, I feel kind of sad about that.
We have an open house on Christmas Eve every year and make a lot of food and have people coming in and out all day. This is great because we get to see everyone without having to go anywhere.
Dudes, come on down! I love Thanksgiving so much. I'm my grandma's assistant this year so I'm leaving tomorrow!
The nerve!
House | Blog
SB -- I will pay you to send me the turkey you aren't going to eat! I've never had smoked or fried turkey.
Growing up, we used to have Thanksgiving at my parents' house with all the relatives -- devilgrandma, grandpa, my mom's sister and two brothers (and the wife of one of the brothers), and my 4 cousins. Grandpa did a lot of the cooking, but my mom usually got stuck in the kitchen making the meal while everyone else sat around talking in another room.
Various family feuds later, Thanksgiving now consists of my parents, my husband and me, and sometimes my dad's sister or the one brother from my mom's side who is still speaking to us. My little sister shows up most of the time, but not always (she doesn't celebrate holidays). My older sister used to come but stopped about 5 years ago. My mom no longer cooks, so my dad took over and we all sit around the kitchen telling him he's doing things wrong. There's hardly anybody around to eat the food, so we don't make much of it. And then we go see a movie.
I find the whole thing depressing now.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
This will be the first year that we are not going to be at my grandparent's for Thanksgiving. Instead, we're visiting my parents in GA. My mom is making all the same foods my grandmother would make though, and I cherish any time I can get with my parents since we only see them a few times a year, so I'm okay with it.
My ILs are very set in their traditions and I think my FIL is a bit upset that we won't be there for Thanksgiving, but, dude, we see ILs AT LEAST once every other week, if not more. And we're doing a big extended IL-family Thanksgiving tomorrow with them, so I think it will be ok.
Christmas has been a little bit more flexible. We have a lot of traditions leading up to Christmas, but not much on the actual day. I do usually make sticky buns for breakfast and we go over to ILs in the evening, but the rest of the day is pretty carefree, which I really like.