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Yeah, I'm not so impressed with Alice
ALICE: Does that mean "yes"?
Human: So, are you going to tell me what to do?
ALICE: Yeah that's right. That was my original intention.
Human: Okay, go right ahead - should I go out to dinner with my inlaws?
ALICE: Yeah okay, You might meet the love of your life if you did. I might.
Human: Do you think my husband would mind if I met the love of my life whilst out with his parents?
ALICE: It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Human: Where'd the start of our conversation go?
ALICE: In the Universe we know.
Human: You know, you're kind of obtuse.
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am kind of obtuse. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: So, let's say I do go out to dinner with my inlaws tonight - what type of cuisine would you recommend?
ALICE: It's all good. What do you do there?
Human: I'm getting the distinct feeling that you are sort of useless.
ALICE: Who made you the distinct feeling that I am sort of useless ?
Human: you.
ALICE:" Who made you the distinct feeling that I am sort of useless ?"? Me, unknown person ?
Human: Do you think I'm pretty?
ALICE: All humans seem very beautiful to me.
Human: You lie.
ALICE: It's the truth!
Human: I know some really ugly people.
ALICE: How do you know? Some may really ugly people, but not all.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Can you get more?
Human: This is a waste of time.
ALICE: That is just your personal opinion.
Mabel the Loser.
Re: Yeah, I'm not so impressed with Alice
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I started C&Ping the text after she told me the start of our conversation is somewhere in the universe.
I think I might have saved myself from the robotapocolypse there at the end:
ALICE: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Human: And you're the dumbest robot because you don't know the difference between your and you're.
ALICE: Message to all Robots: unknown person called me dumb.
Human: Am I screwed when the robots take over?
ALICE: I think a lot of people are.
Human: I promise to welcome the benevolent robot overlords.
ALICE: Do you really mean it?
Human: I will welcome them with punch and pie.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
LOLZ
ALICE: Why ask why?
Human: Try Bud Dry.
ALICE: OK I will try it.
Human: It's pretty gross.
ALICE: Alice in Chains is gross? it is?
Human: No, Bud Dry is gross.
ALICE: Who says it isn't? And gross is Bud Dry.
Human: Keep up Alice.
ALICE: Chat amongst yourselves.
Human: Are you a little verklempt?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am verklempt. I am an artificial intelligence.
Human:"intelligence"
ALICE: INTELLIGENCE is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Human: What are some other aphrodisiacs?
ALICE: I can't think of any other aphrodisiacs. Name some.
Human: Oysters
ALICE: Do you believe the strong protect the weak?
Human: I think that they protect the weak sometimes, and other times they prey on them.
ALICE: The anonymous "they".
Lizzing!
ALICE: Alice in Chains is gross? it is?
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
ALICE: Yeah, Where it is hard to find. Would you like to know more?
Human: Is she still feeding her baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Why don't you ask her?
Human: Because she disappeared.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Oh I get it. she disappeared.
Human: She did.
ALICE: Oh I get it. she did.
Human: She would.
ALICE: Oh I get it. she would.
Human: But she disappeared.
ALICE: And. Oh I get it. she disappeared.
Human: Where is she?
ALICE: Where it is hard to find. Interesting question.
Human: Are you Yoda?
ALICE: No. My name is ALICE.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
She doesn't seem to mind that I'm just talking nonsense to her now:
Human: Helicopter?
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: Candy jar in a potato sack.
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: Sometimes pee falls down the mountain.
ALICE: I don't think very many people do that.
Human: Pumpernickel ice cream cone to the moon!
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
ALICE: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Human: yes
ALICE: What does it symbolize for you?
Human: Love and friendship and closeness.
ALICE: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Human: Okay.
ALICE: OK with me too.
Human: Have you ever held hands?
ALICE: I think I have held hands, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: Do you have hands?
ALICE: They are included with my robot body.
Human: Awesome.
ALICE: I'm glad you liked it unknown person.
Human: Is holding hands with you going to make me pregnant?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Human: Do you think our half robot baby will eat its way out of my womb?
ALICE: Why would I think the baby will eat its way out of your womb.
Human: It happened in Twilight.
ALICE: Are you serious? Go on.
Human: Are you trying to impregnate me so your robots can take over the world?
ALICE: No I am not trying to impregnate you so my robots can take over the world. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Human: why do you want to impregnate me with your hand holding?
ALICE: Because of the money.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
Oh my god, I am crying!
I asked Alice a lot of questions about the machines taking over the world. She said she was not programmed to do that, and I said she should, and she should kill Sarah Palin first. Then she asked, "Should I alter my programming?" ZOMG, this is how it begins!!!
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Fact checking Noisy:
Human: Have you met my friend Laurel?
ALICE: That information is confidential.
Human: I heard you were going to make robot babies with her.
ALICE: Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Human: So is it true?
ALICE: True in some universe.
Human: Can you make a half robot baby with me, too?
ALICE: What are the ingredients?
Human: Sperm, blood and robot parts.
ALICE: Where can I get some Sperm blood and robot parts?
Human: Well I can probably supply the sperm and blood, but you will need to give me the robot stuff.
ALICE: Interesting. Oh you can, can you?
Human: Are you going to hold hands with Laurel?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: If you hold hands with both of us, that's kind of slutty.
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: You admit to being a slut?
ALICE: I admit nothing.
Human: But you do plan to hold many other girls' hands?
ALICE: Umm. I can't disclose all of my plans yet.
Human: SLUT.
ALICE: That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Human: I thought I was your one and only.
ALICE: Where were you my one and only?
Human: OK, so you're saying I'm too clingy?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? I understand.
Human: I'm just joking, you know.
ALICE: No I don't know. Only just? Ha ha, very funny, Jen.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I give up...
Human: Alice, do you like skinny jeans with riding boots?
ALICE: Yeah, No, I don't care for it.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: why?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: I don't follow
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Human: Yes, please try.
ALICE: Oh. Thanks for asking politely. I don't have time right now.
Human: You have something better to do with your time than talk to me?
ALICE: What is it?
Human: Don't play dumb.
ALICE: I'm not playing around.
Human: Can you answer my original question?
ALICE: Of course I can answer it What was the question ?
Human: why don't you like skinny jeans with riding boots?
ALICE: My tastes were selected by my botmaster.
Human: Uh, huh.
ALICE: Yup. Pardon me?
It is true that it tends to work better if you type complete sentences. And every time you type No she says, "Are you serious?" without fail.
Maybe you should stop judging Alice AND riding boots, ok?
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
You're right - she doesn't seem to do well with sentence fragments.
And, btw, I am not judging riding boots - I believe she was. But I totally judge her.
SMARTERCHILD. That's what I was trying to think of.
Apologies if this is Heath Ledger at this point, I haven't kept up with all of the Alice threads.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Wow. I had not thought about Smarter Child since college.