New York Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
S/O If you've dumped friends
So, some of us mentioned in the tipping post below that we had some issues with friends along the way and we decided to drop a few that were just not good friends us.
If you did this, why did you dump your friends? Do you ever regret it?
Re: S/O If you've dumped friends
Granted, some times it was just that I grew apart from some friends. But there were a few I made a conscious decision to dump. I think weeding through friends in my late 20's was the best thing I ever did. Some of my friends I had had because I was friends with them when I was younger. And I realized that nostalgia did a good friend make. So, I did an inventory of who was supportive, who was not crazy, and who was worth my effort and ditched the rest.
In particular, I dumped one of my bridesmaids, who just seemed like she was out to lunch when it came to our friendship. She made me feel like crap about so many things, I just decided it was healthier to not be around her.
Recently, I have become friends again with a person that I had dumped. And, to be honest, we're having some of the same issues. I am wondering if welcoming this (sorta toxic) person into my life again wasn't the right decision. Either way, it was a growing experience and I am working out the details.
Yep, I have dumped some friends recently. And I cant say that it was an easy decision to do it, but it was the best decision I could have made.
The reason that I "dumped" them is because unfortunately I was giving 200% in the friendship and they were giving 2%. One example of a dumped friend that hurt the worst recently was - my bridesmaid. During my whole friendship with her, I've always been very supportive of her, and helped her out in times of crisis. (she was suicidal, and I'd get out of bed in the middle of the night when she called to drive to manhattan to just let her talk, she'd call me EVERY DAY at work first thing and Id talk to her for like an hour. Texts, emails, etc). I was the only one who knew and helped her. She has some friends of hers that are VERY uppity and snooty and judgemental. The kind that say "Oh, I summer in the Vineyard.." just showoffs. While in Mexico for my wedding, she was acting bitter and catty and damn near started a fist fight with my sister (maid of honor) it was INSANE.
Recently, her 40th birthday came up - and she was throwing herself a dinner. Sends an invite to my husband and I - and I respond "Of course, we'll be there. We cant wait to see you it will be great" - to which she responds "But my friends will be there, and I'd love to have you - but they will be there, so maybe we should do something separately". She made it clear that she thought we werent "good enough" for her friends.
I made it clear to her that what she did was offensive, and I was done. And I havent spoken a word to her since.
If I cut a person off, Id never take them back. Im a really good friend, and expect that in return.
I actually hate having to lose friends, but sometimes it is inevitable. In my early 20's dumped a best friend, or so I thought she was, after she hugely broke my trust by telling some very personal things to the wrong people. I dumped two girls a few years ago because I felt walked all over. They terribly took advantage of me, and I finally had enough. And, more recently, I had a friend that I became friends with that was a classmate of my husband. She was also in my wedding, and we were great friends. I can't say that I dumped her, but I just haven't called her in a few months due to her life having more drama than anyone could imagine. And, not to mention, she reamed me out over drinks in public a few weeks after I gave her advice which she asked for. She obviously didn't like what I had to say and called me judgemental and was very bitchy to me. We will still see eachother because we have similar friends, but I am so tired of dealing with her problems. She never had time to listen to my issues but she always laid hers on me. Anyway, ridding myself of each of these situations has made life so much better. I want a reciprocal realtionship with my friends, and none of these people ever brought that to the table. These situations have made me so much more grateful for the real friends that I already have and that newly come into my life.
Our Wedding Site