Do you 'hide' money?

slevesquemut · November 2010

I'm just curious about this, I was talking to my mother about it last night. Do you hide money from DH? She told me she's been doing it for years. It's not like she has a fortune tucked away, but a small nest egg that he doesn't know about in case of an emergency.

It got me thinking, I have a savings account I refuse to close, and I keep putting away a little at a time until I can afford some house updates that DH thinks are a waste. He knows about the account, so it's not like I'm hiding it from him, but it's still something he can't touch, he'd probably want to buy something I think is a waste.

So, do you 'hide' money from DH?

mrybrwn9 · November 2010

No but I don't think it is a bad idea. I still want separate accounts but DH refuses.

Mrs.S_0909 · November 2010

I don't either. I did have a savings acct that I refused to give up or let him have any access to until after we were married. Although now it has both our names on it and is being used up fast with all the house stuff.

kristinemarie7 · November 2010

No, and this is a touchy subject with DH. A while back, I had started putting my left over cash (from the previous two weeks) each time I would take my next two weeks of allocated cash in a spot in the house. I happened to mention it to DH and he didn't like that I hadn't mentioned it to him. His ex handled the money when they were married and it was not a good situation - bills not getting paid because she was buying other stuff, etc. When they did get a divorce, he thinks it's possible she was putting aside money that he didn't know about.

So, no, while I handle all the bills, DH knows how much and where our savings is and both of us are listed on those accounts.

hibiscus118 · November 2010

We're still in the process of making everything "ours." We added my name to his accounts, but haven't done the same with mine yet. I bank at a Credit Union and they have limited hours to where he has to take off work, and we just haven't done it. So we're still doing everything the way we were before we were married. I do have a small amount in my savings leftover from the "wedding account" that I know he knows about, but has probably forgotten about. I just keep quiet about it because I know he'd want to use it for bills, and I want to use it to update our kitchen some next year. I don't think its a bad idea to "hide" some money though.

Lisa7 · November 2010

No, we share all of our accounts and stay on the same page of where the $ is going and how much we have. We both agree to have a savings to save up for when we build our next house but dip into it sometimes too

FutureMrs.McC · November 2010

No but I know a lot of women, mostly of our parents generation, that do. I have no need to hide money from DH. I pay all the bills and doesn't question how I spend the left over after everything is paid and the allocated amount goes to savings. Sometimes I will stash a little cash for gifts for him, so it's a surprise. I would be very upset if he hid money from me. I think it's important to be open and honest about your financial situation.

Mistym05 · November 2010

I wouldn't call it "hiding" money. DH & I have our separate accts for things such as xmas shopping for each other, he hunts, I shop etc ect. We have a joint acct for groceries, bills, house payments and things like that. I have my direct deposit to be split up between the two different accounts.

siba1119 · November 2010

I do have a seperate account. DH is aware of the account, but he thinks there's a lot less money in the account than actually is. When my dad was killed I saw how my mom struggled and she always told me she wished she would have kept some of her indepenedence and always advised me to keep some money on the side 'just in case'.

sarlah · November 2010

FutureMrs.McC:
No but I know a lot of women, mostly of our parents generation, that do. I have no need to hide money from DH. I pay all the bills and doesn't question how I spend the left over after everything is paid and the allocated amount goes to savings. Sometimes I will stash a little cash for gifts for him, so it's a surprise. I would be very upset if he hid money from me. I think it's important to be open and honest about your financial situation.

While I think every couple is different, so therefore there's no "right way" - we handle things basically exactly like Jenni & her H.

MissMex · November 2010

Same as Tracy. My brother just went through a nasty divorce from which I learned a lot. We also had a pre-nup because of this. I don't feel like we aren't open or honest w/ eachother in anyway at all. He knows I have the account, it's all from money I earned while working or was given to me before we were married. I am realistic. If something was to go south between DH and I, I'm not worried about him- I'm worried about his mother.

jebuell · November 2010

When I was married I had my own account. He knew about it but I refused to give him access to it. He spent money like crazy (about $200/month on alcohol alone by the end) and I didn't want any part of that. We even split the bills 50/50 so there was no need to combine. Though, I will admit that I did have access to his account and would sometimes take money from his bank and stash it away so we'd have rent at the end of the month. That he didn't know about but would be really happy when I always seemed to have enough money in my account to pay rent even though for the majority of our marriage I was only getting $140/week on disability.

bean0408 · November 2010

I have always been a "stasher" and DH is well aware of my habit. I take any extra cash I have and hit it somewhere usually in he house. I use it for presents and when we get a serious bug to go somewhere we wouldn't usually go. J jokes that before we move we will have to go through everything carefully to make sure I haven't hidden anything there. He knows its a habit I had before him and is really un-fazed by it.

captainleela · November 2010

Not in the traditional sense. DH and I have seperate accounts, the only account we both have access to is the mortgage. He has his own checking & savings and I have mine. I want to keep it that way. We split the bills 50/50 and we always keep tabs on how much we both have in our accounts. I've never lied about the amount and I don't think he has either. It works for us, and I like knowing that if something happens I have my own account that no one else has access to.

Honestly though if we did have joint accounts I would absolutely want my own as well.

natalie115 · November 2010

We have a confusing way of handling our money, but it works for us. Some of his paycheck goes into my account because I handle all the shared bills and the savings for a house. He takes care of his bills (car, retirement, that sorta stuff) and he puts money into a savings account that's our "emergency fund". He doesn't question what I do with the "extra" money (we don't really have extra money anyways) and I don't question what he does with his although I know he's not exactly money smart which is why I take care of the majority of the money. I've never felt that I needed to "hide" any money from him.

SgtEriksWife · November 2010

FutureMrs.McC:
No but I know a lot of women, mostly of our parents generation, that do. I have no need to hide money from DH. I pay all the bills and doesn't question how I spend the left over after everything is paid and the allocated amount goes to savings. Sometimes I will stash a little cash for gifts for him, so it's a surprise. I would be very upset if he hid money from me. I think it's important to be open and honest about your financial situation.

This exactly. Everything is "ours" and we both are fine with whatever the other spends - as long as it's not over $500 without a discussion.

chichick00 · November 2010

DH and i have our seperate accounts that we had before we were married, but now we are both on each other on our accounts, plus a savings account together. Our pay checks are deposited into our own accounts, and we have the bills divided for who pays what, and i give him some money each month towards our mortage payment. We don't really question each other about our 'extra' money as long as the bills are paid and all that. It seems to work for us!

niuchick21 · November 2010

natalie115:
We have a confusing way of handling our money, but it works for us. Some of his paycheck goes into my account because I handle all the shared bills and the savings for a house. He takes care of his bills (car, retirement, that sorta stuff) and he puts money into a savings account that's our "emergency fund". He doesn't question what I do with the "extra" money (we don't really have extra money anyways) and I don't question what he does with his although I know he's not exactly money smart which is why I take care of the majority of the money. I've never felt that I needed to "hide" any money from him.

This is pretty much what we do! BJ isn't very money smart either, something I'm desperately trying to work on.

nataliejp519 · November 2010

I do not hide money from DH. And neither does he from me. We really don't make enough money to be able to do that anyway We also have a sort of confusing way that we handle our money but like Natalie and Esther, it works for us. We both have seperate checking accounts. I do have another checking account that I put $15 in each week automatically. This is my "vacation" account

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