September 2010 Weddings
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Godparenting advice
I didn't grow up having Godparents so I don't have any experience with this. DH and I are Godparents for my niece (7 mos old).
1. I was thinking about getting her a card with say $10 for Thanksgiving. Do I worry about her older brother (6 year old) not getting anything from his Godparents?
2. I would have gotten her a Christmas present regardless of the Godparent/Goddaughter relationship. Do we get her a bigger gift than my other nephews, a second gift or just the same?
If you had Godparents did they do anything special for you for holidays or birthdays?
Re: Godparenting advice
I probably wouldn't get her a Thanksgiving card, since it's not generally a gift-giving holiday.
I don't have godparents but a lot of my friends do, and my husband and his brothers do. He said that it was the same kind of situation, where they would have given them presents anyway, and they got equal Christmas presents from all the godparents. He said sometimes in addition to the normal Christmas gift, sometimes the godparent would give the godchild and additional small religious gift.
However, they got nicer birthday presents (or in some cases, the godparent only have the godchild birthday presents, and not the other two brothers). This theme was the same for Easter. That seems to be the norm, from what I've seen.
I think if you're concerned about the older brother, you could ask that child's godparent's what they do, if you know them. Maybe even coordinate so that in the end, the gifts are evened out.
I had Godparents, but they never bought me gifts. I don't think I'd do anything extra. I think the whole Godparent thing is more religious based than gift giving based, and I wouldn't want to buy my niece better gifts than my nephews just for that reason and have it appear as favoritism.
Like Laura said, I'd skip the thanksgiving card since its not a gift giving holiday. As for the gift, I think it just depends.
My godmother always got me something nice for Christmas and my birthday. She didn't have kids of her own to spoil so I'm sure that took part in it. I'm an only child so I'm not sure how that would have affected the presents if I had a sibling she bought for also.
I'm a godmother to one of my friends kids (my flower girl). Usually her gift is a bit more expensive than what I get her brother, but thats really just because she's 2 years older and they toys/stuff she's into is more expensive than the stuff he is.
ETA: Also, godparents to my family/friends doesn't carry the religious connotation that it should. Mine never got me anything religious and I've never bought anything religious for my goddaughter. Godparents to us was always more of a "person who you believe will help your child in life" type of thing whether it was monetarily, advice wise, whatever.
Married / The Cookaholic Wife
That's how it always was to me growing up, until meeting Jeff's family. As a matter of fact, I just remembered that I DO have godparents.
Yeah, mine weren't religious either, just my parents' BFFs when I was born. I thought I was in the minority with non-religious godparents.
FWIW, I think it if it were your friends' kids you were a godparent for and wanted to buy them nicer gifts, it's different than doing the same for a niece or nephew. My family was always big on the equal gift giving to avoid the favoritism thing, so it's just stuck with me that way.
I don't think the card for Thanksgiving is necessary. My godparents would send us all birthday cards, but mine always had more money. I think at Christmas, I would get a card with money and the rest of the family got one group card. I can't honestly remember. They live on retirement now, so they don't give as much, but they do still send me stuff (even though I haven't seen them in years).
ETA: My sisters were always a little jealous they didn't get as much money, but between me being older and since they were MY godparents, they eventually accepted it. Their godparents aren't really involved in our lives as our family drifted from theirs'.
Jenn reminded me: Jeff's godfather sucks and didn't get him anything. So it sort of sucked for him that his brothers got stuff from their godparents, and he didn't, but he understood.
None of them get stuff anymore, except some of the godparents are close relatives that get all the brothers equal presents now.
I am God mother to 3 little girls. DH and I to 2 of them. My advise is give the same amount to them for Christmas and or Birthday as you give to the sibling. However, I think it is nice to give a little gift to our God children to remember their baptism day. It's almost impossible to find a card for that event, so I have to get creative with it. I've found there are religious cards and congratulations cards that work!
I also like the idea of coordinating with the sibling's God parents. Maybe ask your brother what the other God parent does if you don't know them to ask.
My Godparents didn't do anything special for any of the holidays or birthdays.
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Thanks for the input from everyone. I will check to see what/if anything my nephew's Godparents do for him-but unfortunately I don't think its anything. I won't follow that path but I will keep it in mind. This nephew gets extra attention from me anyhow for his birthday because we share the day.
DH has godparents but only remembers getting an extra gift at Christmas.
I don't think you have to get them or her anything for Thanksgiving. My godparents got us something on Christmas and sometimes our birthdays.
My (and my brothers) godparents are my great uncle and great aunt, they did get us something alittle nicer than they would get the other kids (my cousins) though but they didn't know that. My mom is very close to them though, I mean talk about 3-5 times a week or so ever since I have been alive.
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