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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
My sister's BF
So, I guess the plan on Wednesday when we arrive at my parents is to make pies all afternoon, then my parents wanted to take us all out to Magiano's (sp?). By all, I mean my parents, DH & I, my grandmother, my sister & my niece. Dinner would be my parents treat.
Well, sis invited her new BF along. I thought this was kinda rude, but whatever.
She just sent me a text saying BF wants us all (meaning DH & I) to go to karaoke after dinner. Umm.... no thanks. Neither DH or I do karaoke & I honestly would rather spend time with my family then go to a bar with some clown I don't even know.
I texted her back 'No, thanks'
Her: 'Whatever'
Re: My sister's BF
Are you close w/ your sister?
Maybe you could offer an explanation as to why you don't want to go to Kareoke.
Of course I can explain. But I figured a quick 'no, thanks' reply via text would be enough until I was able to talk to her on the phone. Guess not.
I would probably get the same kind of response from my sisters.
Race PRs {5K-23:55} {10K-48:54} {15K-1:24:30} {13.1-1:53:39} {26.2-4:30:43}
She's 34. It's not like she's a teenager or even in her early 20's. Her BF is 41.
I think giving that kind of a response via text message tends to make it come across as curt- even if that's not your intent. If there's more to your answer then I'd wait next time and call her to tell her why before shooting off a quick reply.
Do you have a decent relationship with your sister? This post makes it sound like there's more to the story. If there's not more to the story and you guys generally get along then I think you're being a little rude. It sounds like she wants to introduce her BF to the family and is using everyone getting together at the holidays as the opportunity. I agree that one shouldn't just invite someone to dinner without checking with the host, but that's between her and your parents (the hosts), not you.
As for the karaoke thing, if you don't like karaoke, why not suggest something else that you guys could do together. You say you want to spend your time at home with family- well she's your family. Why not make some time for her and give her a chance to introduce you to the new guy in her life?
Race PRs {5K-23:55} {10K-48:54} {15K-1:24:30} {13.1-1:53:39} {26.2-4:30:43}
Yeah, I would kind of take offense to that, Jen. In text it's hard to tell tone, ya know? So she might have taken it as "Uh, no thanks...
" instead of "Aw, not really, but thank you! 
" KWIM?
Kendra and Moonstone drive me nuts with this. Because they always come off pretentious and I want to smack them. But I know Moonstone isn't like that, and I'm sure Kendra is a peach IRL. But the way they punctuate and type things out here sometimes makes me roll my eyes a lot.
So maybe just text her back and say "I didn't mean to come off rude, I'm just not into Karaoke." Or something.
And if she is still bratty after that, at least you know you tried.
I understand not wanting to really get to know her BF bc "he won't last."
But I was that g/f that chris' family didn't want to get to know.. SURPRISE.I'm still here.
Before we were married MIL pretty much told him she didn't need to get to know me, or didn't want to.
Now, we are married, and I've been around for 6yrs, they barely know me, and at this point, its hard for me to really care. I have a very hard time letting my guard down around them and letting them get to know me.
My thing is, well, you didn't care while we were dating, and you made me feel very uncomfortable when I was around, and made it very obvious that you didn't like me so why should I go out of my way.
It's hard. It's something I struggle w/ every single time we see them. We are going there on Friday, and honestly, I'm nervous.
I get very nervous around his family.
So while I understand your POV, it's not really fair. He could be the one.
Sometimes I wish I could help you out and reach through the computer and give you a good smack aside the head to help you straighten out your vision.
Could you!? I really am tired of trying to keep my glasses from falling off when I run. That would be so much cheaper than lasik. TIA!
We have an okay relationship. We've never been BFF's & there are many things we don't agree on, but she is still my sister & I try to get along with her.
Maybe I should be more interested in getting to know her BF. I think dinner is more than enough time. After dinner, I'd much rather spend time with my grandmother (who's not the healthiest), than her BF. The rest of my family have already met him.
Haha- if I really had that power, I'd have already used it on myself. My glasses are always slipping down my nose.
She also has a history of doing this. She invited some guy to our wedding, who I never met/heard of. I was a little annoyed, but decided not to say anything because it was my sister. Once she invited him to the RD, which my IL's paid for, I spoke up. But she still invited him.
The day before the RD, she tells me that they broke up & he's not coming to either. I know you all remember how annoying it was paying for plates & people didn't show up.
LOL
I honestly am thinking about contacts again, only for running. I used to wear them when I played softball/weightlifting in high school. I'm lazy and they're a PITA for me.
If I were you, I'd give your sister a call at some point and just explain to her that you are looking forward to meeting her BF at dinner (even if it's not entirely true), but that you want to go home and spend time with your grandma afterward. That explanation comes across as respectful while the text message might have come across as passive agressive.
FWIW, I have a sister in her 30s who has a new BF every month too (sometimes several), and while I know they'll never last, I always try to show interest in her life, which includes whoever her flavor of the month is. It sounds llike your sister's BF wants to make a good impression with her family, which is actually pretty nice. I always try to give my sister's new men the benefit of the doubt. Of course it helps that she has a cash flow minimum for her BFs so instead of taking us out to karaoke when they want to impress the family they take us out on their family yacht or get us VIP tables in Vegas. Maybe you should encourage your sister to check out millionaire match-maker dot com.
Yeah, I'll call her later tonight & explain myself.
LOL... that would be right up her alley.
My sister did this too. Again, it was hard for me to be mad b/c her BF, whom I barely knew, gave us $500 as a wedding gift. I totally get where you're coming from, your sister in inconsiderate. My sister can be too. But I know that about her so I pretty much just accept that she's going to be herself. It sucks, but I try to focus on her good qualities and every once in a while I give myself a pat on the back and credit myself with single-handedly keeping our relationship going by accepting her many faults and letting it roll off my back. Sometimes taking the high road to keep the peace is really the easiest way to live.
I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from. The other thing is that my parents won't spak up either. When she does things like that & takes advantage of them, they let it slide. That's what really bothers me.
My whole family is like that with my sister. My only advice is to let them fight their own battles. When she d!cks you around then you speak up. Everyone else has to be an adult and do the same or else deal with it. My sister can be such a jerk sometimes, but I don't get in the middle of her beefs with other people. Honestly, it's tough sometimes so I feel you. If I did half the sh!t to my sister that she pulls with me there is no way she would tolerate it. She's kind of like the gatekeeper in my family though so I hold back a lot with her. I have to remind myself constantly that in her own twisted, morally ambiguous world, she has the best of intentions when it comes to her family.
And here I almost didn't open this thread... and I would have missed all the love you are sending my way.
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