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The Resistance Story
For Fenton, and anyone else who was curious. You will probably regret having asked about this. I wish I could block it out.
A few years ago (pre Jimmy, so a bunch of years ago) I was out drinking with a friend. This happened to be the friend who had sex in her car in front of my house a month or so ago, but that's not really relevant here.
Anyway, we were drinking Manhattans, and she got really really drunk. I ended up getting us a cab and taking her home. The whole cab ride, the driver gave me a hard time about the fact that she looked like she was about to vomit. We made it to the house, she opened up the car door, fell out onto the ground, and began to get sick. A lot. By the time she was done, she was covered in mess, and was all but completely passed out. She lived in a 3rd floor walk-up, so I had to carry her up 3 flight of stairs.
I got her into the apartment, and undressed her down to her bra and underpants, and threw her clothes into the bathtub. I put her into bed, put a glass of water on her nightstand, put a trashcan next to her bed, and grabbed for a blanket to cover her.
Before I covered her, I noticed a string hanging out of her underpants, and I assumed it was just a loose thread, or something, so I tried to remove it. And there was resistance. I tried again, pulling just a tiny bit harder, and got resistance again, and this was when I realized that the string was not attached to her underpants at all. I did not remove anything, but I'm pretty sure I dislodged something a little.
Then I covered her up, went in the other room, and tried to block it all out.
The end.
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
Re: The Resistance Story
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Ewww!!! Ewwww. Gross.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
There are no words.
I would give anything to have been there in person to hear you tell this story.
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If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
When I hear/read this story I morph into half dog rolling around on it's back getting his belly scratched and a kitten playing with a ball of string. I just love it. I mean, seriously... LOVE! I could die happy having just heard that story.
It is better being told in person because of the build up... And the world and Groomz slow down into half speed because you know what direction it's going and you can't believe something like that could really happened in real life. But it did. It DID!
so effing funny, G!
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
You are a good, good friend. I would have hauled my friend in her apt, maybe, maybe into the bed, and run away. I wouldn't even have stripped her nasty clothes, much less tried to help her out with panty threads.
Also, you are a good friend for sharing this story.
Does your friend know you dislodged her pon?
3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
That is a terrific story!
You should stand up and tell this story to a room full of everyone she knows at her 40th birthday party.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
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