August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Confession
Today is hard, I miss my babies a ton today. I'm freaking out because I almost died. I'm not sure how to cope. These past 2 weeks have been so horrible that I can hardly believe they actually are reality.
I'm sorry to be such a downer I'm just lost.
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Re: Confession
I'm sorry you're having such a rough day, MO. ~hugs~
And don't worry for one second about being a downer. Please just keep posting and know that we all love you and are here for you.
I'm so sorry MO.... Did the hospital or your doc give you numbers or local groups that they thought could be good therapy? I hear good things about the TTCAL board on TB.
I'm going to try to DD my post... I'm sorry
BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin
{{HUGS}}
Please don't think you are a "downer", we are all here for you!
Do NOT DD your post, you get to be excited and happy. I am thrilled that everything is OK. Trust me I would not wish this on my worst enemy in the world. Or even Voldemort.
I just hate feeling like this. I'm seeing my therapist again on Saturday, I just feel like I'm broken.
I'm sorry MO. ((hugs))
There is never any shame in venting over here.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
I think its good that you're going to see your therapist... that's what they are there/trained for. I really hope they help you get unbroken....
and it's ok.. I'm going to DD... I try to keep BR topics to the july board and not this one, thought I would share since i had a PIP, but never at the expense of potentially hurting someone else.
BFP#1 11.2.10 | EDD 7.9.11 | HB 7w2d & 8w4d | missed M/C 11w2d | D&E 12.21.10
FSH at 14.5 - 4.21.11 | CCCT - (CD3 8.8,CD10 12.2)| dx w/ DOR @ 28 yrs old
IUI#1 + clomid 8.29.11 (our anniversary)
BFP#2 9.10.11 | EDD 5.21.12 | beta 1 @ 14dpi:232 | beta 2 @17dpi:703 | beta 3 @24dpi:7,174
Baby A HB of 142(7w), 161(8w), 164(9w) | Baby B no HB, Vanishing Twin
Seriously Erinn, we all (myself included) want to see your picture (which reminds me fix it, it didn't show up).
Today is just a hard day, it's a day where getting out of bed is hard and realizing my babies are really gone is hard. My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year and all I could think of was my babies. I may as well have asked for a unicorn.
I'm so sorry, MO. Could your doctor refer you to someone to talk to? You've had an awful lot of terrible things happen and it might help just to have someone who is a step removed to vent and cry to. I know that I found it helpful when my Dad died to have someone who could tell me it was ok to be mad and sad and to feel guilty and to laugh, too. And you can always talk to us. Love you. {{hug}}
ETA: I should read further. I see that you have someone.
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
Oh MO. (hugs) (hands drink over)
I don't know if it helps, so feel free to tell me to STFU, but you didn't die last week. You made it and you're alive. That has to count for something. Clearly you have good yet to do here. Yeah, life sucks giant donkey balls right about now, but it.will.get.better.
Be sad for now, and vent here all you want, but remember that it will get better.
We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
Oh FMO, say whatever you need to say! Don't be afraid of being a downer - you're not. We're here to support you. You almost freaking DIED after losing your children. Uhm, hello? That's some pretty serious *** you've got going on. I wouldn't know where to begin dealing...
EHayes - FWIW, I hope you don't DD. We're here to support you too.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
How about this? No? Not good enough? Damn, you're so picky.
We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
I just want to add I don't need this to be a baby free zone, in fact I like that you lovely ladies are having healthy beautiful pregnancies. I want those to continue, I want people to be excited.
Raynes: you're right I didn't die. I remember thinking I can't leave Sean alone.
I'm just ready to feel less like I'm broken.
And Ringy and Girl23 too!
Do you think unicorn tastes more like spam or chicken?
I don't know, but now I know where rainbows come from:
We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
And superglue
(((Hugs))) You're always free to vent here. What are we if not a supportive group of free therapy for each other. You've gone through a lot, and you need to let it out. We are here for you so don't feel bad about posting how you're feeling.
Also, I agree with raynes. You and Sean need each other more than ever, and there's a reason you're still here despite your loss. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.
Lots of hugs for you honey... we're here whenever you need to vent.
Also, you have some goodies coming to you in the mail!
MO, just wanted to jump in and say that you've nothing to apologize for and that you're not a downer at all--you're in everyone's thoughts and we're here to listen and help you whenever you need it.
Hugs to you.
Oh Mo, feel free to speak your mind here. No one will judge or think you're a downer. We love you and want to support you as best we can. I can't imagine how hard life is for you right now, but you are alive and I know everyone that knows you (and all of us that *know* you) are so happy for that. I'm sad for your loss but I know that Avery, Trinity, and Langston are so loved and that they feel that love and that they are in a place that is so amazing and so full of love and light and joy that none of us can even imagine it.
Hugs!