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Teenage drinking-discuss
After seeing this article:
http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_16686763?nclick_check=1
I am trying to wrap my head around this. I went to ST and I do not remember kids dying as a result of this. Are kids these days think they are invincible? But open alcohol bottles in the car? That is scary.
Who gave them the alcohol? (maybe an older sibling or friend who is 21? A parent?) Was this peer pressure to be "cool"?
Maybe I was not part of the "cool crowd" in high school and it was never a factor for me.
I rarely drank in high school (maybe once?) and it was at a friends house and it was a slumber party. I had a beer and a shot of vodka and I was sick. I knew not to drink and drive. Plus, I knew my parents would flip their lid if they found out I had been drinking AND driving. I was told by my mom (both when I was under 21 and after I was 21), that if I had anything to drink, call her and my dad would pick me up. No questions asked.
Can someone enlightened me? It scares me to death that when/if I have a kid, that kid will be a teenager and have to face with the reality of this.
I am not trying to be naive. I just want to know.
Re: Teenage drinking-discuss
I couldn't see the link, but is it about the 16 year old dying in a car crash because she and everyone else in the car had been drinking?
I went to ST too, and I don't remember anything about kids getting drunk and driving. I mean I'm sure it might have happened, but there were a few deaths when I went there, but none of them had to do with drinking and driving.
What year did you graduate from ST? I was 2002.
Well, isn't the statistic that every 15 minutes a person dies in an alcohol related vehicle accident? So, even if this is the first time ST has experienced the loss of a student to drunk driving, all over the Country, it's happening. And it's absolutely tragic.
I don't know what you're asking for enlightenment about though...? It is really sad and really really scary. I have a 16 year old beautiful, smart, loving, awesome cousin who I just delivered a car to for her bday. I know she drinks (God, I hope not ever ever EVER while driving...shudder). Her mom is on her every time she's out of the house, checking on her constantly (she's been known to show up at a friend's house every hour all night long), even making her take a breathalizer when she comes home sometimes. Despite all this, I know she still drinks. I just try to really remind her that life is short, and can be too easily taken away. And remind her that she has options and doesn't have to get in a car with a drunk driver. I do think there's an "invincibility" about teenagers. I know though that I have always been terrified of being in a car with someone drinking...it's just so scary, so not worth it. But I think I was rare in that fear, honestly.
Anyway, I think it's about all you really can do...talk to your kids, consequences for drinking - but you have to balance those consequences for drinking with knowing (if?) they'll drink anyway, and wanting them to call you if they need you without fearing for the consequences...it's just...hard.
Have you heard of the Every 15 Minutes program? We had this at our school and it had a really big impact on us all. Does ST do this program? If they haven't in the past, it is something I think high school's should be doing more often to raise awareness about how common and awful and scary it is...
I had no idea you went to Santa Teresa?!?!
I graduated in 1994 (holy crap I am dating myself). DH graduated in 1995.
My sister graduated in 1997 and my brother in 2000.
Yeah, it happens. I knew plenty of idiots that drank and drove in high school. I did drink a little in high school, but it was almost always when I was staying overnight somewhere. If it wasn't, I was sure to have a DD. I had a few friends who did not drink until college.
John drank more than I did (and never had a DL or a curfew). I think it is almost inevitable. I know we won't be naive parents who assume our teenagers aren't drinking, although we will discourage it, and will do everything we can to encourage them to CALL us if they need a ride, no questions asked (until the next morning).
I'm hoping all our kids inherit John's great displeasure in disappointing the people he loves, which is his own greatest punishment.
ERD 01.16.11
Surviving postpartum depression & OCD one day at a time.
Also experienced antenatal OCD.
Feel free to ask me questions about my experience.
I also wanted to quickly add that this discussion is really about teenage drunk driving...which is just horrendous.
What doesn't get talked about a lot is the dangers of teenagers actually drinking, period.
We had a 14 year old sophomore in my high school die from alcohol poisoning while camping with some of his friends. He drank, got in his sleeping bag in his tent, and never woke up. Totally traumatic and horrible for the people who knew him and were there. I remember for one girl it was really hard b/c of the heavy emphasis on drinking and driving - she really wanted people to know that you can DIE from JUST drinking. Kids really do think they're invicible. Scary scary scary.
I really feel so much for that poor girl's family
Stef-I think I am just trying to comprehend it, maybe because I wasn't surrounded it by at high school?
Thank you for that link...I do not remember seeing something like that back when I went to high school, but it might be a good idea for now.
I was surrounded by it, but I was able to mostly resist. I think for me, being active in sports really helped. It still does. I don't want to jeopardize my performance in games, meets, races, etc.
John and I often talk about how we make sure our kids hang with the right group of friends. John has a cousin who has been in and out of rehab and jail (and is not even 21 and has been sober for a good 2+ years, yeah!) and it all started back in middle school and his friends.
Oh, and as to where they get the alchol:
1. parents... seriously, there are parents who will buy it for kid's parties.
2. older siblings
3. fake IDs/finding liquor stores that don't care. John had a fake ID in high school, before he had a real one.
4. Good, old fashioned shoulder tapping. Ask someone going into a liquor store to buy it for you. It works.
ERD 01.16.11
Surviving postpartum depression & OCD one day at a time.
Also experienced antenatal OCD.
Feel free to ask me questions about my experience.
It is all very scary stuff. Teenagers do believe they are untouchable. They fear the police more than they do the actual dangers that are out there.
Without putting too much out on the interwebs...I drank in high school. I NEVER drove. However, I am lucky that none of the "stuff" I did ended up permanently damaging my future, health or legal wise.I shudder now thinking about H in 15 years...scares the bejesus out of me.
When my brother started partying with his friends, he always knew he could call me to come get him if he didn't want to call our folks. I remember a few nights of cruisin up in my sweats to pick up him and a friend or two and dropping them all off at home.
I've lost friends (in college) to alcohol and drug related (for lack of a better word) stupidity. It was 100% preventable. Their parents, siblings, families, friends...will never be the same. I honestly don't know that answer beside blunt force repitition and harassment.
I think you are right...it is more about teenage drunk driving as opposed to teenage drinking.
I feel horrible for that girls family too as well as the driver and other passengers who survived. They will have to live with this for the rest of their lives.
In high school, I was not part of sports and I kept to myself. I went to school, did my homework, hung out with a few friends and that was it.
It's such a sad situation.
When alcohol comes up in class, it really seems like everyone's drinking. I know it's not the case, but I have 14 year olds with WAY too much knowledge about how alcohol tastes and how they would mix them. I also know too many parents who will provide alcohol to their kids (and their friends) because "they're going to get it somewhere" (as a parent, that terrifies me!)
I do think that kids think they're invincible. Seriously, several of the kids didn't even have seatbelts on. Plus, it was raining. What were they thinking? (well, we know the answer...they weren't) So now, one girl's dead and the rest will bear the scars of this awful tragedy (and their parts within it) for the rest of their lives.
I went to a really well regarded high school in the South Bay and we drank a lot back in my day. And it wasn't just a bunch of losers that drank it was people who were into athletics, academics etc. I never did drink and drive but looking back I am sure that I as not as safe as I should have been as a passenger. Though I will say usually we intended to stay the night if we planned to drink. I shudder to think of what could have happened on multiple levels..we were lucky more than once I am sure.
I have nieces who are 15 and 16 and they seem more responsible than I was at that age..I know that they have more supervision than I did at their age.
I am terrified of having a teen..and it's only 6 years away for me...scary. I plan to keep a very close eye on them.
I went to a very academic public high school in SF & while it didn't seem that there was a lot of drinking occurring because we all were generally deemed "nerdy", there were a couple standout incidents. One year a girl had to be rushed away from a dance by paramedcs due to alcohol poisoning. Another year one of the underclassmen died from alcohol poisoning while at a party. The saddest part about that was that she had been passed out in the corner for quite some time, but none of the other party attendees realized that she was in fact deceased.
My senior year of HS ('93) there was a bad crash that killed two students at a nearby prestigious private HS. I knew people who went to the funerals & they all said a good number of students were drinking prior to the funeral in order to "cope." Talk about not learning from the mistakes of others.
I'm currently assigned to handle juvenile drug court & the amount of drinking and drug activity that starts at a young age never fails to shock me.
I went to OG...and when I was in HS I knew some kids from LGHS that died in a massive car accident from drinking an driving. I did not drink in HS, I was 18 when I first started drinking (I graduated at 17 and was in college for almost a year before I first started drinking). I am not sure if I could say it was due to the LG crash that I didn't drink because alcohol was available to me, but I just never drank. I didn't have the desire to.
I still to this day know that if I were to ever have too much (which I literally can count on one hand the number of times I have had too much to drink since I was 21) that I can STILL call my parents and they would come get me. lol. And I totally would too.
I think that peer pressure goes an incredibly long way. There are several behavioral theories and communication theories that have labels for this (can you tell I am in college? lol), but essentially they all boil down to one thing...in a group dynamic people behave differently. While some kids might not normally drink, they do, while they might normally call their parent to get them...they don't.
Teenagers are still growing and developing and their thought process is so different from ours. They are almost unable in many ways to see consequences and when they are able to they are seldom the kind that are more likely to be the case because they do believe it cant happen to them.
Sometimes I look back on how I behaved, choices I made and think "WTF?" I mean I did some dumb sh!t...some really dumb sh!t. I was just lucky and was not a super big risk taker in the safety regards and thus survived teenagerhood.
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I went to Gilroy High. I recall that one of the students was involved in a fatal drunk driving accident. From what I remember, there were a few guys in the truck and only one died.
Also, one of my former co-worker's daughters was found guilty of vehicular manslaughter. She was driving while under the influence and crashed into another vehicle. The accident killed her best friend who was in her car, and the driver of the other vehicle who was a mother of two.
It's all very tragic. I don't think that our high schools emphasize the importance of drugs and alcohol use, well at least while I was in school. I too used to drink during high school, but I never drove.
I was kind of part of the "cool crowd" in high school because I was a cheerleader and in choir (it was considered cool to be in choir at my high school because we were GOOD) but I hung out with my own friends so I never drank in high school. The only drink I had was some wine when I was 14 for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. The next time I had a drink was when I was 20 at brother's house on New Year's Eve. I had one margarita.
My freshman year of high school we did the Every 15 Minutes assembly and they do it every four years. The last time they did it I was doing a long term sub job at my high school about two years ago. It was very powerful and they go all out. It costs $10,000 every time they do it so that's why they do it every four years.
Same here.
Yep we had the program at the high school I used to teach at. It was esp poignant that year because that fall a 12 grader had been drunk driving and the accident she caused killed her 14 yr old brother who was in the car with her. I was never part of the drinking crowd either but there were definitely kids who drank in HS (and at my Christian jr high). I have known several ppl our age who as teens and as adults have had multiple DUI's. It's not anything new and to some degree people do not learn until someone they know is killed or seriously injured. In the Fresno area there are deaths every year from people drunk driving near Friant Rd, a notoriously dangerous road even if you are sober. In Isla Vista, the college town by UCSB, kids die every year from falling off cliffs near the ocean. When their bodies are retrieved, they always have a high amount of alcohol in their system. One Halloween, before I went to UCSB, several kids were trampled to death on a busy party street in IV due to overcrowded paths of drunken/high people who had compromised reflexes.
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I was a very sheltered and naive teen. I'm terrified of my kids being teenagers because of things I read today. I'm totally thankful I was sheltered. I don't think I'm harmed in any way and I did have freedom (never had curfew just had to call and tell my parents where I was and when I thought I'd be home). I didn't drink until my 21st birthday.
The every 15 minutes program in high school still has me terrified to this day of being in the car with a person who has had something to drink.
The Every 15 Minutes program at my school was done every 2 years, b/c it really only had the capacity to impact those most vulnerable to the dangers of drinking and driving (Juniors and Seniors). So, my sophomore year, I saw it going on around me, but none of my friends were "killed" or involved in the accident, and we didn't go to the assembly. Then my Senior year, it was much more impactful.
Ugh, I STILL get weepy thinking about those two days though. Wow. SO impactful. You really can't realize how much of an impact it's going to make on you until it happens. You know your friends aren't really gone, but it was such a relief to see them come into the assembly the next day. And there were speakers...ugh...one teacher who last her husband to a drunk driving accident. TEARS. I'm getting tears now, and it's been 11 years. I would've thought it'd cost more than $10k...that seems like a worthwhile investment. I wish more schools did it.
The last time they did it they got a grant to put it on. They have to pay for things like police involvement, the coroner, funeral home, etc. The most heart wrenching is when the parents of the "deceased" from the accident read the eulogy of their child.
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