September 2010 Weddings
Northstar1808
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Long drama/vent
So I need your girls advice/comments/whatever. Yesterday I went to the
store and I walked down an aisle and did a double take at this guy
because of his hat (lol I know it's stupid but I have the same one). So
because I did that he said, "smile." So I couldn't help but to do so.
Long story short, we were talking for like 20 mins in this one aisle. We
had good conversation. He was easy to talk to.
He knew I was married. I talked to him about when we got married, that we bought a house, I talked about how DH and I met and all this stuff. We talk about other things and then he's like, "we should go out to lunch sometime."
And I said, idk if DH would be very happy with that.
he says, "why not? you're goign out to lunch with a friend."
I said, "woah there buddy, we're not friends yet. I just met you."
He said, "well how do you think people become friends, they hang out, go to lunch, etc."
So in the end I tell him well if you want to give me your number I'll take it but I can't guarantee that I will call you and I'm not giving you my number. So I take out my phone, he's like oh what kind of phone is that (my phone is really old) and starts looking at it. Then he punches in his number and calls it, to try to get my number. He says it didn't work because it didn't register to his phone yet. idk if that's true.
At the very end of the convo he shakes my hand pulls me in to kiss me on the cheek and that was it. *side note* during the convo there were a few times when he would touch my arm or hand, etc. also somewhere in the convo he mentioned he had a g/f too.
So I go home tell DH and he's mad at me because I took the guy's number. I said I didn't want to be mean and say no. (idk why I can't just do that, I feel bad, idk I guess I'm too nice sometimes). Anyway, DH's point is that there's no reason to take his number if you have no intention in calling him. He said that I just made him feel like he "won" because he was able to give his number to a married woman. He said that I was leading him on. I said that it was a good conversation. I like to have good conversation with people and I don't think anything of it. Is it my fault that the other person thinks there is more to it??
DH wanted to call the guy up and say something and I told him no. I'm just frustrated because this time I did better than other times. Other times, I would be like okay here's my number because I felt bad not giving it to the guy. So this time I didn't give my number and yet I still didn't do the right thing.
DH does not control me whatsoever so don't take it that way. I can go out whenever and do whatever I want. But for some reason, when things like what happened in the supermarket happens, I feel like I need to prove to a stranger that I don't need "permission" from my husband for me to go out to lunch. I don't know why that is. blah.
You guys don't even have to respond to this, it was just nice getting it off my chest.
He knew I was married. I talked to him about when we got married, that we bought a house, I talked about how DH and I met and all this stuff. We talk about other things and then he's like, "we should go out to lunch sometime."
And I said, idk if DH would be very happy with that.
he says, "why not? you're goign out to lunch with a friend."
I said, "woah there buddy, we're not friends yet. I just met you."
He said, "well how do you think people become friends, they hang out, go to lunch, etc."
So in the end I tell him well if you want to give me your number I'll take it but I can't guarantee that I will call you and I'm not giving you my number. So I take out my phone, he's like oh what kind of phone is that (my phone is really old) and starts looking at it. Then he punches in his number and calls it, to try to get my number. He says it didn't work because it didn't register to his phone yet. idk if that's true.
At the very end of the convo he shakes my hand pulls me in to kiss me on the cheek and that was it. *side note* during the convo there were a few times when he would touch my arm or hand, etc. also somewhere in the convo he mentioned he had a g/f too.
So I go home tell DH and he's mad at me because I took the guy's number. I said I didn't want to be mean and say no. (idk why I can't just do that, I feel bad, idk I guess I'm too nice sometimes). Anyway, DH's point is that there's no reason to take his number if you have no intention in calling him. He said that I just made him feel like he "won" because he was able to give his number to a married woman. He said that I was leading him on. I said that it was a good conversation. I like to have good conversation with people and I don't think anything of it. Is it my fault that the other person thinks there is more to it??
DH wanted to call the guy up and say something and I told him no. I'm just frustrated because this time I did better than other times. Other times, I would be like okay here's my number because I felt bad not giving it to the guy. So this time I didn't give my number and yet I still didn't do the right thing.
DH does not control me whatsoever so don't take it that way. I can go out whenever and do whatever I want. But for some reason, when things like what happened in the supermarket happens, I feel like I need to prove to a stranger that I don't need "permission" from my husband for me to go out to lunch. I don't know why that is. blah.
You guys don't even have to respond to this, it was just nice getting it off my chest.
Re: Long drama/vent
Hmm...that's a tough one. If it were me, I would not have given him my number. I probably wouldn't have engaged in a long conversation with him either. You did tell him that you were married and he should have taken the hint. Who knows if this guy wants a friendship or is hoping for more.
It's good that you were honest with H about the situation. You had nothing to hide so why not be. It you had not been honest with him and he found out it would have been so much worse. Maybe you need to give him some time to cool off. Just assure him that you do not have any intent of calling this guy and that you were just trying to be nice. Let him know that if he did the same you would not be mad at him.
At the previous company where I worked, I had two guys there that liked me and were always asking me out. This was before we were married or engaged but I was upfront and told Richard all about it. I wasn't doing anything wrong, nor did I have anything to hide. He got mad at me when I told him. He wasn't mad at me but mad that they would pursue me knowing that I was in a relationship. I assured him that I had no interest in either guy and he was the only man for me.
At the very end of the convo he shakes my hand pulls me in to kiss me on the cheek and that was it. *side note* during the convo there were a few times when he would touch my arm or hand, etc.
Okay, I would have walked away, on the spot. Who cares about hurting his feelings at that point. A guy who can't respect the fact that I'm married (and in turn my husband) is an asshat. He also sounds like a creeper based on everything you described.. and the kiss on cheek attempt was the icing on the creepcake. Wtf is that? Goodbye.
09.25.10
I think you handled it exactly the way I would have.
You weren't rude, and you had no intentions of actually calling him or hanging out with him right?
I would have deleted his number as soon as he walked away and told hubby the funny story.
My hubby probably would have been annoyed too, but I know EXACTLY what you meant when you felt pressured to prove that my every action isn't dictated by the husband.
The touching and especially the kiss would have put me on guard, just as you said it did.
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!