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NER: How much do your online relationships matter to you?
I thought this was interesting, given the nature of our little group here. DH and I were just discussing this the other day, and we weighed in on different sides of the spectrum. What do you guys think?
As reported in the The New York Times, a new study reveals that men are just as attached to their online communities as they are to their real world relationships. Women, on the other hand, reported having a deeper connection to their real life encounters. The article didn't offer explanation for these varying viewpoints, but I'm sure there are many reasons why men and women are different in this respect.
There is something important about a physical relationship ? a lot is
said through someone's tone and body language ? but I have to assume
that even if it seems strange to some, online friendships and
communities can be just as significant to a woman as her real world
ones. But surely it depends on the woman, so since I know you're all
active online, I'll ask you: Do you have any online relationships that
you value just as much as those in your real life? Or do the
connections you create online always come second?
Re: NER: How much do your online relationships matter to you?
Very interesting, considering how relatively new online friendships & message boards are. A male coworker of mine just had a meetup with an online friend, which I've never done, but I think he's been on the message board scene longer than most of us.
This is going to sound totally lame and cheesy, but I really treasure my online friendships here. I care about what happens to you guys and enjoy our discussions. Plus, the outpouring of support I've gotten lately from A06ers has been amazing and so touching. Internet strangers really DO care.
In a way, online relationships are both less AND more filtered than IRL ones. On one hand, I feel like we truly "know" one another as we really are, without a lot of the day-to-day BS and pleasantries.
But on the other hand, expectations of online relationships are pretty low. Online friends can never let one another down--we haven't the opportunity. We just have to show up and participate in discussions and emails, and our jobs as members of the online community are pretty much done. We can't ditch one another or back out on plans or disappoint one another, ya know?
Ditto Brookles. It sounds majorly lame and cheesy, but I also treasure my online friendships. I was talking to a group of IRL friends the other night and actually talked about one of you (I really wish I could remember who right now). I lied about how I knew you, but still, you were mentioned!
DH disagrees with me, as he says I likely (not just me, everyone who frequents message boards) have invented a good deal of your personality myself. It's more like interacting with characters than people. I disagree. I feel like I have a good handle on who Brookles, LMW, majorwife, PGH, etc. are.
For instance, while you don't reveal a lot about your personal identity, LMW, I think I have a really good idea of your personality, etc. And I can tell right away who I would really like IRL, who I would be okay with, and who I wouldn't get along with (not that that's anyone in here!).
I value the relationship I have with all the ladies on this board, even though I don't post much (as my bronze status shows). I'm genuinely happy when something good happens to one of you and I'm genuinely sad when something bad happens to one of you. I was thrilled when I got to meet ESF (lovely lady, btw) and I'd love to GTG with all of ya'll. I would be very sad if I was unable to be in any sort of contact with ya'll.
It's definately a different relationship than I have with my offline friends, but I value it the same way.
Well, let's see...I met my husband online. And I met some of my best friends online...we planned our weddings at the same time on the knot, eventually met up at a GTG, and now email daily and see each other often.
It's kind of crazy how quickly RL friendships can develop from the online world.
Like meshaliu said--they relationships you build online are different from those old-fashioned, offline-ones, but to me, they're just as valuable.
And be it the semi-anonymity of the internet, sometimes I feel more comfortable talking to my online friends about personal things that may be sticky discussing with my IRL friends, you know? Plus, I think I can always get some more unbiased opinions here--ya'll aren't afraid to tell any of us when we're acting like idiots. Whereas my friends may not want to hurt my feelings and will tiptoe on eggshells
Dittoing the others that said they value the relationships made from this board! Sure it's not the same as a RL friendship. But just as there are things I tell my RL friends that I wouldn't post online, there are things I post online that I wouldn't necessarily share with my friends IRL. It's different but I like both kinds. The anonymity prevents a certain level of deep friendship, but at the same time it makes it easier to talk about personal, non-security compromising stuff, and hot topics. None of my RL friends know I'm TTC. Neither do any of them know the level of disdain I have for McCain.?
Unless people act drastically different IRL I think I have some idea of your personalities too! ?
I really value my relationships on here as well, especially with our group here on A06. I really feel ike we "know" each other and I wish we could all meet up IRL.
?
?
ditto all pp.
I'm not sure there's anything I post on here that at least 2 or 3 if not more of my IRL friends don't know. I guess I'm overly-open.
And I've given up hiding you guys. I suck at lying. So, now my inner-circle of IRL friends (and a few work friends, too) know about you guys. Eh, I figure I'm helping to remove the stigma.
(((A06)))
I have to say, y'all are sooooo freakin' sappy!
But, then again, so am I... adding my $0.02 to the love pile...
I don't "know" any of you, but I definitely notice when you're not posting. And I miss you. A06 has probably been the tightest online group I've been part of. Like pretty much all of you have said, there's a difference in the type of personal information I reveal, but I definitely feel like I *do* know you. I'm so happy when something good happens to someone, and I seriously worry about you guys when something not so good happens.
Group hug!
I too value my friendships from these boards. There are a few I have known for two years now since we planned our weddings together and continue to talk to each other every day. I was honored to be invited to A06 even though I was a newcomer to E08. Getting to know you ladies on this board has been a great experience so far and I get cranky when I can't participate or at least access the board throughout the day.
Like others have mentioned, online anonimity provides a certain level of comfort that is a little bit different with my IRL friends. I have bee hesitant to provide too much personal details IRL since my professional and personal lives are so intertwined. However, I am sure I will need some sort of outlet soon since I am coming across so many tough decisions and I have typically gone to my online friends for help.