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Really?
So I asked my family for their lists & this is what I got from my brother...
TWOIDEAS FOR EVERYONE
GIVING BACK
Let?s see if we can all donate some clothes to church.
Also, let?s see if we can all throw in $5-10 to make a group donation to Lunch Break in Red Bank or something similar.
I?ll follow up on both when I?m back in NJ.
SHOP ON MAIN STREET
Let?s try to support local businesses whenever possible with our Christmas shopping. We already shop at the big chains and online stores year round.
I hate when people assume I don't do this stuff already. I give bags upon bags of clothing to goodwill every year. I don't advertise it, but I still do it.
I also give to charities & I don't need someone telling me WHICH charity to give to. That is a personal preference.
I do shop locally too, but I can't afford to do so all the time. There is a really good local market that only sells locally grown food, but it's REALLY expensive. We are living on one income right now, so I can't be super choosy when it comes to where I buy my clothes/food.
Did I mention he proceeded to give his actually list which is pretty long -- complete with what he wants & where we have to buy it aka a board game from a store an hour away (should I waste gas -- which causes pollution so I can buy something "local"?)
Re: Really?
I hate this kind of stuff too.
My least favorite is when someone asks you to donate money to his or her race for the cure/school fundraiser/charity benefit and when you decline (because you are in a position where you can't give at that time) you get the "what are you, pro cancer/anti-education/pro gangs?" look. Ugh.
I don't need a charity guilt trip. A girl I work with supports ALS b/c her father died from it. Every year she not so subtly hints I should donate -- we sit next to each other so I usually give her $20 to keep the peace. There are so many charities to choose from & IMO it's a personal choice who you give to & how much.
My sister is also annoyed so she is going to formulate an e-mail suggesting we either don't do gifts/we do something homemade. His list is mainly clothes -- which is very $$ to buy locally by us.
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Yeah here is his actual list...
Shoes
Sneakers
Socksto go with brown shoes
Jeans? 32? waist X 30? inseam ? prefer darker blues ? not bootcut or too baggy
Shirts? button downs ? short sleeve or long sleeve ? I already havelots of blue
Tie? Nothing too traditional, go funky
Sweater- Thin with a pattern, stripes, etc. I already have solids in brown,gray, and navy blue.
Slippers? 9 wide - Nothing too warm and fuzzy ? it?s California!
Twophoto albums ? combined capacity for 500+ photos
RutgersT-shirt, sweater, or sweat jacket ?go for black over red
Book:Patti Smith, JustKids?Try River Road Books ? they can order it, too
GiftCertificate: Jack?s Music
Goodiesfrom Delicious Orchards
Gamesfrom The Missing Peace in Lambertville ? maybe Stratego?
Oldeditions of Proust ? try Phoenix Books in Lambertville ? 49 N.Union St.
^It's not short either! Mine is about 9 items -- nothing big except a winter coat & snow boots the rest is like a calendar, an ornament, etc. DH & I are trying to stock pile C&B gift cards to use towards new furniture right now. Me & my sister were just a tad offended lol. Not to mention he sent my b-day gift 2 months late with a card saying not to combo gift him (his b-day is 2 weeks before x-mas & I see him on x-mas because he lives in Cali -- so I give him 2 separate gifts just on one day)...he also told me in this card he will send me a wedding gift eventually (he never even sent us a wedding card & he was in the wedding party). I could go on & on....
W. O. W. Your brother has guts... let me understand something before I judge - does he want ALL of the items on the list, or is this like a list of things he would like to get in the near future, but you can pick anc choose? Because that makes the list long, but helpful... if he wants it all... I mean... I guess he embraced that Christmas is a commercial holiday, huh?
Speaking of the wedding gift - DH's brother has also been in our wedding party and his wife said they forgot the checkbook. It's close to 5 months since the wedding and this Thanksgiving she caught me alone again and asked me what we want. For the third time I made my replies sound like we appreciate gifts but what we really need is money. We are on one income too, right now. DH's sister and her husband paid for our RD, and gave us a gift (quite a large one too). I don't expect so much from them, but I just don't want to participate in her decisionmaking anymore. BIL's wife is like: I wanna get you something off the registry but all the big items were purchased already. Of course they were, wedding happened 5 months ago. Even the couple who had a death in the family that they had to spend money around send us a gift already, and I expected the least from them, considering their situation. BIL's wife says she will get me a BBB gift card... we got 5 of them, all for $100. Problem is, she waited too long to plan this expense, and now it's Christmas time and she doesn't know how to avoid giving us money. I am not materialistic, if they got us a gift at the wedding, I probably wouldn't even care what they gave us, but now, there are no more gifts I can fit at home, but my wallet could use some help.
sorry, I totally vented on your post.
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Yeah, I'd be a little upset and ticked off, too, if I were you. To eliminate this sort of thing, one side of my family does no Christmas gifts, except for the really little kids that would be upset (which don't really get me started on that, since we're supposed to be teaching them to give, not recieve considering what everbody else in the family does), and adopt a family instead. The other side of the family does "family baskets" full of homemade goodies and other things that you can't really go out and purchase in the store. It seems to work well for us, and gets rid of most of the making a list issues.
I don't know, it seems like he wants everything. Normally his lists are on the shorter side, so this was kind of a surprise to me. Me & my sister just decided we are going to shop wherever is convenient not at a list of stores he gives us, etc. We toyed with the homemade gift idea/no gift but we didn't know how to word it w/out offending anyone (I also think my sister started buying for me & DH already too).