Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
freaking out (help)
I am pregnant for the third time and am freaking out. I know that all relationships are different and that men react differently to pregnancy then we do but... I am getting married to my FI in about two months and am about 5 months pregnant. He could not get enough of me at first(we have been together over a year now) and now i feel like i have done something wrong.He doesnt even notice when i am dressed up for him or wearing anything that might catch a guys eye. Did anyone elses man change when they got pregnate? He is great with the kids but seems hesitant with me now. What did i do????? Anyone have any advice for me?
Re: freaking out (help)
It's pregnant, not pregnate.
I haven't been pregnant yet so I can't really answer question except to say I bet most women on here will say no their H hasn't changed his behavior toward them when they were pregnant. I can see my H getting more protective towards me, but that's it. Again, haven't been pregnant before.
Better communication is my advice to you.
Since my H and I have been TTC he's become more affectionate (which is strange since he was pretty affectionate before) and more protective.
I think it's time you and your FI had a heart to heart talk about what his feelings are. Like PP said, it may not be bad at all, maybe he is just having a hard time adjusting to becoming a father. Or maybe it has nothing to do with you, maybe it's work or money issues. GL.
He probably just has a lot on his mind with your upcoming wedding, new baby and the responsibility he feels he needs to take on with your other 2 children. Naturally men feel stressed about all of these things & never want to fail. just remember men react and express their emotions much different then women.
But yes, as the other ladies suggested, TALK to him about it, it may relieve his stress and yours.
good luck to you
It's possible he's worried about hurting you. In which case, talking about it is great.
It's also possible (especially if he hasn't ever seen you pregnant before) that he may not think a pregnant body is sexy. It's a crappy thing to say, but for some men it's true; they have trouble relating to their wife as a sexual being during pregnancy. If that's the case, that sucks, but the good bit would be that once you pop out the kid, the issue goes away.
Or, it's possible that he's freaking out about getting married and having second thoughts, in which case the two of you need to get yourselves into counseling post bloody haste.
First off ... Don't apologize for misspelling pregnant. It was a typo EVERYBODY does it. (you spelled it right the first time you typed it)
Second, you should just bring it up casually to him and discuss it. Is this his first child? Maybe he is just a little nervous about being a daddy, getting married, taking on your other two children (which there is nothing wrong with that), etc. Maybe it is just a lot of responsibility... just talk... I'm sure it will all work out.
PS- the reason I bring up the whole nervous about wedding, marriage, etc is b/c my husband became a tad nervous of all the responsibility...wanting to provide for me/us, taking care of me, new bills, etc.... Best of luck!
It's not that unusual. There's a whole section in What to Expect on the various reactions expectant fathers have and how they affect their sexual desire. Some of the issues other posters mention come up, and a few others. You do need to talk to him about it, though, and know what you want before you have that conversation. Do you want more orgasms? Do you want to feel desirable? Are you feeling like he's become distant? Even if his libido isn't up for much right now, there are other ways for him to help meet your needs, whatever they are.
And I love your typo. I really want it to be a verb similar to incubate or brood. As in, "After pregnating for nine months, Jane gave birth to a very large baby boy."