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S/O Monday Poll: Man with sign...
So this is what I am refering to:
BoyMom21-H and I saw a man last year with a sign that said: "Why lie? Need money for beer and cigarettes". He was over by Penn Square mall at an intersection. People were giving him money left and right. What do you think of this?
Now, I put in my responce that I would think it is kind of funny, but here in SoCal homeless men and women are EVERYWHERE. Like literally every corner in certain areas. I don't want this to sound like I am a heartless B, but the first nursing job I had out here was at a "weight clinic" that pushed appetite suppressants and vitamin injections. Well my boss was incredibly scatter-brained and just plain crazy. The reason for this was he was a recovering drug addict who used to live in a big park area here. He would brag all the time how he would panhandle and take all the money and shoot it up his arm.
The whole time I worked there (and still to this day), I thought he was tweeking. Like always. Well when he hired me he neglected to read my resume (thank goodness I was actually lisenced cause I doubt he looked at that either). One day I mentioned that I used to work with drug addicts at a methadone clinic and how I was used to spotting them in the general public. Needless to say, he was shocked and I worked less and less after that until I quit because he would not give me any hours.
My second experience is one day I was stopped at a light and a guy was walking aorund asking for money. For my own spending sake, I try not to carry cash on me. But I happened to have an apple and an unopened bottle of water in my car. I rolled down my window to give it to the guys and he said, "I don't want your damn food, just give me money." Never again do I even try...
So for those of you who said you would give money, I am just curious as to why you would? Wouldn't that money serve better at a shelter? I am not trying to judge, just curious.
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Re: S/O Monday Poll: Man with sign...
You see no difference from a grown adult who won't get a job from a child wishing for something better than a cardboard box because they can't get a job?
This. Just because a kid is poor doesn't mean he KNOWS he's poor...or that he is any less worthy of having nice things.
It also doesn't mean he's immune to the 10,000 TV commercials that air every day during after school programming, billboards he passes on his way to school, and Toys R Us circulars that show up in the mail. None of them are labeled, "Sorry---these really cool, fun toys are just for middle class kids" nor do you ever see any ads aimed at children for cheaper items like slinkies, the rubber ball attached to the paddle, or really practical things like mittens. For the most part, kids want what we (meaning corporations) tell them they want.
When we blast as many ads at kids as we do, we shouldn't be surprised that kids of ALL socioeconomic classes buy into the hype that corporations pay millions of dollars to make them buy into. It's the rare 8 year old who asks for charitable donations to be made in her name for Christmas and just a new pair of socks for herself because that's really all she needs.
I get what you all are saying but my point is I can give the guy $5 and he can get a cheap bottle and he would be happy. If I were to give a child a $5 gift card their parents would be pi$$ed. I work for a Community Action Agency for 4 years-we helped with the Angel Tree and I don't know how many times parents came in and were mad because there child did not get a bike, game station or some other expensive gift that was on their list. I have in the past also seen parents of the Angel Tree children in the return line at Wal-Mart returning everything that someone else has bought their children. That is why I feel this way!
You know... maybe I am different but I was raised and continually follow the mantra of giving without discretion. I give pocket change, dollars to people that need it because my heart tells me to. I am not sitting on a wall of judgement of what they will do with it because I gave them the money to help, my conscious is clear and I feel better.
I am not speaking for the man with the sign for beer, I am speaking for the people begging on streets, playing the fiddle for money or what have you.
I know. I feel your pain, I really do. I used to be a therapist in public housing. A few parents seemed very entitled. I set up a "giving tree" at our agency for the kids in which community members donated adult gifts, then the kids could come in and play "Santa" by choosing a gift for their parents, wrapping it up nicely, etc. The idea was to learn about the spirit of giving. It was an all around awesome day!
I'll never forget, though, one little boy who was excitedly picking things out, then running off and coming back looking sad. It turned out his mom was standing outside of the window and he'd pick something, show it to her, and she'd reject it. Our director chased her off and gave her a major lecture (which worked pretty well since he was a deacon at her church and she respected him a lot.)
I refuse to let that one sucky woman ruin the whole magical day. I also refuse to punish her kids (or any kids) for the crappy things their parents may or may not do.
I rarely give money to people holding signs on the side of the road--far too many of them I recognize every day, and far too many times I've seen them walking to their cars and driving off to go home--yes, home--at the end of their "work day." One of the news stations even did a story a few years ago, and as I recall some of these people can make $40,000 a year in tax-free income from pan handling. And of course there are the drug addicts and alcoholics, but I won't get into that.
Now one way to kill me is if they bring their dog with them. I've been known to give someone some food and a bag of dog treats if they have a dog.
As far as the angel tree thing... I agree with Amanjay. I know some of the parents of these kids suck the big one, but that isn't the fault of the children. It's not their fault for wanting these high-end items either. I personally would not buy a child that expensive of an item, but that's mainly because I couldn't afford that! I will be honest though: I've never actually seen that listed on an angel tree card. But two years ago I totally bought the 15-year-old boy the Ugly Betty Season One DVD set that he asked for.
I felt bad--his was one of the last cards on the tree at my church. Apparently people were scared of it or something.
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I don't give money to panhandlers. I don't give money to people who ask for it on the street. I do, however, donate clothes and necessary items to the appropriate locations when I can. I don't care how "honest" they are.
Yes, I'm sure people probably think I'm going to hell. I'm not interesting in fueling someone's addictive habits. I'm interested in giving to charities that will appropriately handle my donations.
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Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12