October 2009 Weddings
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Any Money Matters Lurkers Here?

I love to lurk on the Money Matters board.  There are a few tips/insights I get there, but mostly I like to see what other people's budgets are, even though they're usually not any where close to ours.

I was just on there, looking at a post about "2011 financial goals."  I'm amazed at how much money some people have!  I understand that The Knot is for all ages, and maybe my October 09 bubble is mostly girls in their 20's or early 30's, but it seems like we have NOTHING compared to some of these people!

Some girls had goals of putting "another 25k in savings" or "budget so we can live on DH's salary only" or "maxing out their 401(k) contributions" or "remodeling their kitchen while saving 10k from the estimate"... I wish I HAD 10k period, not just to cut out of the kitchen remodel!

We don't technically live paycheck to paycheck, but we only have a few thousand in savings.  We have 2 car payments, a student loan, a debt consolodation loan, and regular bills each month, so we're a lot more negative than positive.  We don't even have kids or a house of our own!

It makes me feel like we're doing something wrong, but I swear we aren't. :(  Does MM make anyone else feel terrible?

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Re: Any Money Matters Lurkers Here?

  • Yes!! DH and I struggling terribly now. He lost his good paying job after the company he was at was bought out last year. Now he is making significantly less than he was before at a new job he hates.

    I left my job to substitute teach in hopes of getting my name out there to get a real teaching job.

    We had about $6000 in savings when I began to sub and that is now gone after this month (between 1 car payment, rent, 2 student loans, bills) Luckily, we are not in too much debt. We paid a lot of it down after we got married. But bills add up! Plus we had some unexpected car issues.

    I also see bios with gorgeous houses that are fully decorated by a SAHM and I am floored by their money.

    We manage our money pretty well and live within our budget, but it's hard when the economy is in the crapper still and schools have a hiring freeze. Also, DH is certified in aircraft maintenance. There is only 1 airport here and that is were he was let go when it was bought out. So he has slim pickens'

     

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  • Don't let it make you feel terrible: just look at it as a goal to build up to.  Remember, some of these people are or are married to (or both) highly paid professionals.  Take that into account that many of them are older (though not all) and have the opportunity to pay off debt or have never had debt.  Plus, they practice what they preach (sp). 

    You'll get there some day.  It just takes time.

    Matt loves Munkii!!!
  • Ugh.  Yes.  "Another $25k in savings?"  Really?

    I honestly don't know how anyone can afford to be a SAHM.  I sure don't know how my parents raised me and my three siblings with the quality of life that we have.  By the time we pay off cars, student loans, monthly bills, and contribute to our retirement plans, we just have enough for a comfortable life. 

    Our retirement plans, though, are thriving.  We do invest a lot into those.  That's not to say that if we didn't, we could live off of one salary... but that does take up a good chunk of change. 

  • I might be alone here (and I come from very humble beginnings myself), but DH and I also plan to save at least $25k this coming year to recoup the savings we emptied. We saved $35k in one year for the wedding, and then another $12k for the move 6 months later. I make ok money (~$50k), but it's DH's salary that makes it all possible. He literally makes almost 3 times what I make. We certainly don't live a lavish lifestyle, but hope to be buying that nice new house in 3-5 years. We would need a minimum of $50k just for a down payment and closing costs on the kind of house we want here in the city. So while we have more, what we want to buy is also exponentially more expensive. Conversely, we have lots of friends who have houses and fancy cars and all that, but they now struggle to make ends meet or worse (well, with the exception of 2 couples who have one spouse each who get money from their trust funds... must be nice).
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  • imagekelnyc:

    We saved $35k in one year for the wedding, and then another $12k for the move 6 months later.

    You're one of them!  I'm teasing of course, I guess I'm really just jealous deep-down.  But seriously, 35k in one year?  That's more than half of what DH and I make total in one year.  

    I'm very happy that we both have jobs, and I know it could definitely be a lot worse.  I just don't know how 2 people with modest incomes (and little hope of raises/promotions other than annual inflation-related raises, which DH seems to get only every couple of years) can possibly save enough to buy a house or to have kids.  I'm hopeful that it'll turn around, it's just so easy to get really down about it.

    Thanks to everyone else for responding - at least I'm not alone! :) 

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  • This will make u feel better. I make only 500 a month, live with my parents and my husband, and we have used up our savings to move to alabama and get my husband into college. He quit his high paying job to go to school and we are STRUGGLIN! lol but i just gotta remember that even though its hard now, we are setting ourselves up for a great future.

    One of the things ive been told is not to compare urself to others, it will just frustrate u! :)

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  • imagekelliejo83:

    imagekelnyc:

    We saved $35k in one year for the wedding, and then another $12k for the move 6 months later.

    You're one of them!  I'm teasing of course, I guess I'm really just jealous deep-down.  But seriously, 35k in one year?  That's more than half of what DH and I make total in one year.  

     

    Believe me, it was NOT easy! We budgeted every last penny and cut back on a lot of things, but we got to have our perfect wedding. But, we have worked very hard to get where we are. I have been slaving in order to work my way up and am only now, nearing my mid-thrties, able to feel comfortable. It comes to everyone in due time.
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    After 22 cycles and 4 failed IUIs, Serafina joined our family through IVF/ICSI, born 8.28.12
    Surprise! The Sequel is due 12.8.14!

  • We started 30 years ago where you are.  Together, we made 35,000 a year.  We bought a 100 year old house with 5,000 dollars down that we had saved the first year.  We paid 13% interest on that loan, and the sales price was 55,000 dollars.  It was a mess.

    I worked full time as a teacher for 6 years, and half time for another four.  After that, I worked part time co-managing Hallmark stores for 10 years and substitute taught for 6 years.  For the last 2 years, I have been a REALLY part time nanny for a sitting service.  Mostly, I paid for my shopping, Sweet Adelines, and all of the fun stuff that we did.  Gary paid the heavy freight.

    He has gone WAY up the ladder since he started in his company, much of that because of our willingness to move.  In 30 years, we lived in 3 towns in Illinois, 2 in North Carolina, Ohio, CA, back to Ohio and now in Virginia.

    We now live in a nice home on 2 1/2 acres with a pool.  It has been a renovation project...something always seems to be breaking...but it suits us.  We drive 2 cars...one a 2003 and one a 2006...but both are paid for.

    I am able to live my life, volunteer for the things that are meaningful to me, pay for my daughters, education and the lion's share of her wedding because my husband works like a dog and because we live simply.  I buy clothes at Walmart and Sears, we own a timeshare for vacations, don't go to expensive restaurants.  My one vice is Sweet Adelines, and I work to pay for that!

    I will admit that occasionally my best friend and I cast the side eye at 20 somethings going into amazing amounts of debt to get in the first year what it took us 25 years to work toward.  Just sayin'  

    Whisper

    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • imagekelnyc:
    I make ok money (~$50k), but it's DH's salary that makes it all possible. He literally makes almost 3 times what I make.

    Sad

    I want to make $200k a year... 

  • I hear you. I lurk on there sometimes, and while I have to say I've picked up some good tips / ideas and gotten more aggressive as far as saving because of it, it does make me feel a bit down at times. I'm not exactly in a high-paying field, and while DH has more earning potential than I do, he's still a far way off.

    I just try to remember that people posting on a financial message board are going to be better off / more responsible than just someone off the street. It's not an honest sample, so to speak.

    So all in all, while it is a bit depressing at times, I'm thankful we're not struggling and glad we are able to sloooooowly grow our modest savings.

  • Were were doing great, but then it all went in to the house, which scares me. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it's 50 years old and needs a lot of work. It's really depressing..I have no idea when we'll be able to start all the work we dreamed about.

     

    ETA- and now the holidays are here, and not that I'm all Grinchy, but I'm really too burned out from the house to even think about it. Totally uninspired to spend, even if there was money..

  • Umm, yea. I lurk there and try to pick up tips - I've really picked up my savings, too. Like others, I am thankful that my husband and I have stable jobs (even though my salary is not much more than the 25k that will be going into MM savings accounts!). My husband often gives me pep talks when I worry about money and reminds me that it sometimes takes awhile to reach financial goals... and that's why I'm in grad school, I suppose.
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