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Imma complain about my ILs, k? A novel
I know I am not around much these days (and I shouldn't be here now), but I just want to vent about SIL, BIL, and Devil Niece ('tis the season after all). You know me, this is WAY too long.
As I have complained about in the past, SIL and BIL don't pay much attention to their kid when we are in group situations. Once they do, it is generally to exert, in my opinion, way too much force in disciplining her. Before this past month, I was starting to think that DN was growing out of her mean girl ways. Unfortunately, I think she is just developing her skills at subtle manipulation and torment.
Example: she kept bringing Andy books or her personal little notebook that she draws in. Andy likes to scribble on things, so we have to keep a close eye on him around books. DN would bring these things to him, Andy would oooh and ahhh over them, then she would rip them away from him. Each time she would approach him with one of these things, I would ask her to not do it, take it away, hide it from him. No more than five minutes later, Andy would be screaming because she was prancing around him with the books, hand them to him, and then take away. It got to the point where I would see her approaching him and I would intervene and take the book to another room and hide it (she would just find something else after that).
The worst part of it all is my SIL. SIL turns a blind eye to her daughter's behavior until DN gets so out of control that SIL has to yell and scream at her (and at times, use physical force - pull her arm, swat her butt, etc). However, she coddles DN up until that point (if that makes any sense).
Before Thanksgiving dinner, DN and my sister's daughter (A) had been fighting to the point where A went into my bedroom and sobbed for about a half hour because she was so tired of hanging out with DN (there are more details, but I will spare you those). My sister had to constantly tell DN to not go into the room. All the while, SIL is cooking and is not paying any attention to this.
I set the table for dinner. I put all of the kids next to their parents (my brother's boys were there too) and, per my sister's request, kept DN and A separate. DN saw where I was putting her and she got all whiney about not being near A. My sister and I explained to her that she was going to sit by her parents and by my husband, Andy, and me (we thought she would be happy sitting next to Andy). She got distracted and went away.
SIL later sees how I set the table. SHE got all whiney about it. "Oh, DN isn't going to like that, she isn't sitting near the other kids." (the table wasn't that big - everybody was sitting next to everybody) I then gave her the same explanation that I gave DN. But SIL kept pushing, so I said, "You know, A is really grumpy. It is better if we just keep the girls separated."
SIL agreed with me and was totally cool about it. "Oh yeah, good idea."
Come dinner time, SIL moves the place settings and puts DN next to A. This results in A pouting the entire time and DN poking and bugging her. SIL just sat there and didn't intervene, even when my sister would tell DN to stop and scoot over.
Only a few short weeks until Christmas. Yay. Sorry about the novel.
Re: Imma complain about my ILs, k? A novel
Thanks for getting through that EAB!
We already keep our visits to a bare minimum (which is why I only write these whiney novels around the holidays). The thing that really sucks is that, on the rare occassions that DN isn't around, SIL is actually not that bad. She doesn't show her dark side to us. I just really cannot handle the way she parents DN.
I want credit for reading it all, too! Give me my credit! I demand credit!
(I just didn't reply because I had no advice to offer.)
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Phsh. I only give credit to those who validate my irritation with a seven year old child. I'm going to hell for sure, so I like to hear that it isn't all for nuthin'.
Irritation with rotten children that make everyone miserable is totally validated.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Wow this little girl sounds like a real peach. Do you have a dog crate you can put her in when they visit?
Turn the lights off and pinch her. HARD.
She can't point the finger if she doesn't know who did it.
I really feel child abuse is the best answer here.
I read this and wonder how you can possibly think you're a failure as a parent. You're quite brilliant, if you ask me.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton