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~KCUE821 come in;about your little problem...~
From this thread (newlyweds and no sex life), her post:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/46033865.aspx
kcue821:
i understand you but i havent gotten to the masterbating part yet.
hes 10 years older than me, im in my twenties, im in my peak and im guessing hes not, weve been married for 3 months and it feels like 10 years. IF we have sex more than twice a week, i open a champaigne bottle to celebrate. we use to live with his parents in which i thought THAT was the reason our sex drive was a disaster. now we live in our own home and it seems to me like he sees sex as a chore, like its soooo much work for him after, to clean and go to the bathroom and go back to bed... so i think to myself, is this what im worth? am i now an obligation and when we do it, its great but after i wont get it again for another two weeks
and that bullshyt about work and being tiered agrivates me, because he worked more when we were just dating and that didnt seem to interruped our sex drive. quite honestly i hope this isnt a reflection of the rest of my life with him because its not gonna work for me.
when i confronted him about our low sex drive (more than 3 times) i had sex 4 times that week, then he forgot and went back to the usual every two weeks. i dont know whats wrong either,
i lost weight, ive been taking care of myself , im super romantic, i send the sexy text messages, i buy the teadys, i call him to say i love you... i put him FIRST! on everything, and then he just treats me like "whatever".
i get sad and bitchy and i just do things half ass and then he starts being nice.
i dont do it on purpose i just start putting as much emphasis into our marriage as he does. im not happy, im sure he cant tell the difference and telling him AGAIN is like punishing your child and not talking to an adult. but now i see why his first marriage didnt last 3 years,
ill give it time till i get tiered and just take life as it is day by day in hopes itll all get better.
Hes genuinly a beautiful person but i think that the way he handles relationships and the way he treats his partner in life isnt the right way and its quite tiering. hes much more difficult than what i thought, hard to read, hard to get along with, hard to stear, and apparently has a sex problem.
so i guess i joined your boat. i pray we get better.
Holy cow....this one needs its own separate thread!!!!
(lets out low whistle...and multiple side eyes...)
First of all, wow...spellcheck spell check spell check...
Second of all: WHY is a man 10 years older than you NOT PROVIDING FOR YOU??? You lived where? with your parents???
That's a huge red flag right there.
If this guy wasn't grown up enough to get an apartment for you and for him and if he isn't motivated enough to make sure that is a priority, what made you think that this guy would make ANYTHING in your marriage a priority?
Now you can see why his marriage didn't last 3 years??
Uh, NOW you see? didn't you discuss this with him at all when the relationship got serious?
And what WAS the reason why he and his wife split up after 3 years?? Did you ever get to find that one out? and did you ask his ex wife why their marriage ended? I somehow get the feeling you did not.
Wow... you HOPE your sex life will get better? what happened to communication? didn't you take him to task over this??
And now he's hard to read, hard to "stear" (???) difficult to get along with and he's dead in bed to boot.
[Bangs head on desk]
Want to tell us why you married him???
Re: ~KCUE821 come in;about your little problem...~
Because he's a beautiful person. DUH!
When you make a choice to marry someone (or not), it has to be based on not just feeling in love with them, or them loving you, but whether they are a great partner to you.
Nothing in this screams "great partner" and none of it has to do with him being ten years older.
I find it hard to believe it was only AFTER the wedding you discovered he was crappy at communication, hard to get along with, and so on...
Seriously, relationships should not be this much work, whether it has been 10 weeks or 10 years.
SMH. And sadly.
I also can't get over the numerous words that are spelled incorrectly. Did this person ever go to school at all?
In the beginning, before marriage et al...That is when it will be the easiest. That point in time will always be as easy as it gets. Before the I do's and the mortgages and car repairs and pregnancies, loss of job or health problems, that frame of time will be when the relationship itself should be the smoothest sailing. Yet so many people seem to think after the wedding things will be better...
Grown ups living at home is becoming very common. Marrying those people while they live at home really should not.