September 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I Love You
This was the topic on the radio this morning. A woman called in saying that her and her boyfriend have been together for one year and he still has not said those three little words to her...I love you.
So...
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used?
Who said it first?
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
Re: I Love You
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? About 3 months.
Who said it first? I had to say it first, otherwise it may have taken a year.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? I don't know. If I felt that he loved me I probably would wait. But if I didn't feel the love from him than I'd be out.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? Torn on this too. My parent's don't tell each other that they love each other but I know they do. It may be a cultural thing. If you feel the love than it may not be necessary to hear it.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? - DH told me he was "falling for me" a couple months into our relationship then said "I love you" for the first time a few months after that!
Who said it first? - Funny story - technically, I did. Our first Valentines Day together, DH got me a Tiffany's necklace. I blurted out "I love you! I mean...IT!" He didn't say anything and to this day I'm not sure he really noticed or if it sunk in. After saying it though, I thought about it and realized I truly did. I was nervous to tell him for real, but then he said it to me not too long afterwards.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? Yup, and would actually prefer it. I don't believe in rushing into saying "I love you" too early in a relationship. I think "I love you" is used too loosely alot of the time.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? - Eventually, I would definately need to hear the words or I would think something wasn't right, even though I could tell my DH loved me before he actually said the words, and knowing that made me much more willing to wait for him to say it.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? about 6 months but we were in high school so who knows if we even knew what love really was.
Who said it first? He said it first, I was to scared I wouldn't hear it back.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? Yes.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? I would eventually need to hear it, if we planned to get married and have a life together.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used?
Very early on, less than a month. But we were in love before we started dating.
Who said it first?
I honestly don't remember. It was probably me, but I know afterward we both admitted that neither of us wanted to be the first because it was so soon and we felt silly.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
Not with Jeff. With other relationships, probably. It depends on how soon I felt I was in love, because it would suck if it wasn't reciprocated for a long time.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
I think it's fine if some time goes by without saying it, but after a while it needs to be said out loud. I feel like a guy has issues that need to be worked out if he's in love and can't speak the words, and I would be unwilling to move forward with the relationship if he didn't try to work on that.
Edit: I would MUCH rather a guy wait to say it, than say it when he doesn't mean it. I think it does get said too soon in many cases, and I'm guilty of that when I was younger.
Who said it first? H did.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? Uhm, idk. With H, everything was different. The guy I was with before H, we had been dating for 9 months and he didn't pull out the L word until I was breaking up with him. I also didn't consider myself serious about him.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? Hmm. I think you need to say it some point.
This is interesting because MOH and BM have been together for 1.5 years and they have not said it to each other. They were both REALLY emotionally damaged from their last relationships. I think if you truly love someone, you just say it.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
A PP reminded me:
It's fine if people don't say it often, as long as it has been said aloud. Jeff and I say it all the time, but I know not all couples are like that and it's still a perfectly healthy relationship. There's a difference between NEVER saying it, and not saying it often.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? I felt it soon after but waited about 2 months I think, maybe shorter
)
Who said it first? I said it first and he said it right back of course
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? Heck no! I think that is too long, that is just my opinion
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? I myself would like to hear it and be shown
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used?
Less than 2 months.
Who said it first?
DH did. Actually, he said "I think I'm falling in love with you." It was so soon, I just didn't know what to say. I wasn't ready to say it until a few weeks later, when the 'i think' went away.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
Yes, with K I would have waited. He had just gotten divorced and I was burned last time around so I think we both were kind of cautious at first. Shortly after our first anniversary I was pretty sure he was it, so I wouldn't have waited much beyond that.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
I don't have to hear it every day. But, we have talked before about my own personal need to hear it. Not that I don't know, but the words are a form of comfort to me, kind of like a verbal kiss. And I particularly stressed that he needs to say it outside of the bedroom...if I only hear it when we're getting it on, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth...but these are my own hangups & feelings.
I love my puppy ... and my husband, I swear!
5 months dating, 1.5 year friends- that includes time we were broken up for and another gf!
Who said it first?
He did, we both wanted to get back together, but I would NEVER confess it.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
That would totally depend on the relationship. I would wait for some I guess, but not others
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
Again, I think it would depend on the bloke. The last guy I was with was an open book. Hubby is sooo hard to read sometimes.
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? About 2 months in
Who said it first? DH, and we had only known each other for 1 month prior to dating. I feared love. I had dated my ex for a year and a half and never said it to him.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? I didnt like love, so I never wanted to hear it. It took me a little bit to adjust to hearing it from DH.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? I think its important to hear it. An ex never said it because he felt that I knew it from all the nice things he did. The problem was that he did nice things for everyone, so I couldn't tell.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? About 3 months.
Who said it first? He did.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? Possibly, but a year is a long time, esp. if you aren't SURE.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? I think at first it IS important that the actual words are said. That way either party isn't just hanging out there waiting to know if it's true or not. I think over time it's easier to show love with actions vice words though.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? Pretty early. I don't think we were even "officially" dating yet.
Who said it first? He hinted around to it, and me being Ms. Obvious said "so you're trying to say I love you?" He nodded and I said well okay then but I'm not saying it back until you actually say it.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? I don't know. I guess it would depend on the relationship.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? I think it depends on how the relationship started. If you never had a relationship where you said it all of the time or you didn't have a point in the relationship like that, than no I don't think hearing it is necessary. But since we say it all the time, yeah it is kind of necessary, because I'd be concerned why he would stop saying it suddenly.
Married / The Cookaholic Wife
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? this is complicated. we were together for 8 months, broke up for 1.5 yrs, then got back together. He said it after 2 months of getting back together.
Who said it first? he did but I didn't hear it lol. So it took him another few weeks for him to muster up the balls to say it again. He thought I heard him but didn't want to say it back.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? probably.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? It was necessary for me to hear it because I know that he doesn't say it to anyone. And for him to say it is a huge step and means that we were very serious (we were young when we first were together). The first summer we were together I could tell that he loved me but he never said it because he wasn't ready yet and I really wanted to hear it but I waited until he was ready.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? 1 year, 3 months
Who said it first? Me. I broke up w/ a bf before DH and we had said it a couple months in. It was a bitter break up, so I was reluctant to say it again too soon even though I knew I loved him about 3 months in.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? Yes I did and I'm so glad. I knew he loved me, but it was comforting to hear them in return.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? Before it was said aloud, I knew he loved me, so it was no biggie. But I'm a big proponent of saying it often and meaning it (my fam and I say it regularly) and his family is not like that. I kind of had to train him. In the early years, I would say I love you and he would say 'you too'. Now he instigates and I never get sick of hearing it.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used?
It was fast, like a few weeks.
Who said it first?
Don said it first, but I felt the same way too. I wouldn't have had the guts to say it first though...not until much later in our relationship.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
Honestly, I don't know. I knew from our first date that we'd last and get married so I might have waited a year to have him say I LOVE YOU to me, but I think until you're living through a situation you really don't know what you'd do.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
I grew up never hearing my parents say I LOVE YOU, but I knew they did. Don and I say I LOVE YOU all the time, at the end of every call as matter of fact. I'm a big stickler on the fact that you never know when someones time is up and that phone call might be the last time you talk to them; plus, I didn't want to get into the habit of not saying it and having our children grow up not hearing their parents say it like I did.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used?
I don't really remember but I'm thinking 3-4 months.
Who said it first?
Jeremy said it first because I refused to say it. He had never been in a serious relationship before so I wanted him to make sure he KNEW before those three words were said. I knew early on he was the one but wouldn't say it first.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
I really don't know. I've never been in that situation so it's hard to say. I don't see myself dumping him or any guy because that wasn't said but again, I don't know since I've never been there.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
I like them both. I think it's important to have the little things and all that done but also very nice to hear "I love you" said too. To me, they go hand in hand.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used? Looking back it seems like it was fast (we were only 16), but it was about 3-4 months into our relationship. I would say I TRULY knew about six months in.
Who said it first? J said he was falling in love with me about two months in, and told me he loved me shortly after. I sort of freaked out at first but recipricated it about a month later.
Would you have waited one year to hear those words? The love we felt and expressed in the beginning of the relationship was much different than what it grew into over the course of a year and the following years, so I don't know if at that age it would have bothered me if we didn't use "I love you" at that point.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice? I absolutely think it is, even though actions do speak louder than words sometimes, there is nothing like hearing I love you. I was brought up in a househould that was always full of verbal and physical affection (hugs, people). My parents say I love you often to eachother and always to my sister & I - it's just how we have always been & I've never known different. J & I are the same way - we say it multiple times a day, everytime we get off the phone, and J is very good about saying it after we argue (my stubborn ass has a hard time). Like Jen, we just don't want to end anything on a bad note & the I love you is always a verbal reminder & reassurance.
09.25.10
James said these three words first, I think within a few months of us dating.
I probably would not have waited a year to hear it. He admits that he fell hard for me early on but didn't want to scare me off, and wanted to make sure this was a true feeling and not "puppy love". He tried to get me to tell him back by surprising me with flowers at work....didn't work, lol. I knew I was in love with him but it took me a while to tell him "I Love You" back.
For us, it's both actions and words.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
How long into the relationship was "I Love You" used?
The second time we hung out...about a day and a half after the first time we hung out.
Who said it first?
DH said it first - it was the first time we spent time together truly alone (I had gone to one of his parties), and he watched me paint. As I was leaving, he kissed me and then leaned in and whispered it in my ear. I was like "What??" and then he said "You heard me" and I freaked out "I can't say that right now!" (even though I wanted to)...I believe I said it back a couple weeks later, the first time we went out with my daughter. Oh, and that painting still hangs in our bedroom
Would you have waited one year to hear those words?
No. I don't judge anyone who could or did, but personally I couldn't deal. I made a rule for myself early on that if by the end of the first year it wasn't clearly the person I would marry, there was no point wasting my time...then again, I already had my daughter, which changes things quite a bit.
Is it necessary to hear I love you or do you think you'd be able to tell he loved you and that would suffice?
As I'm sure you could guess from my previous answers, I think it's important. How often it's said is up to the couple and doesn't matter, but I think it's something that needs to be made clear...there's nothing better than hearing "I love you" from someone who truly means it (whether that's DH, parents, children or anyone else who may be important in your life).