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Let's just say...
you have brother who is getting a family tree made up for your parents for Christmas. Would you find it odd that he's putting the girl he's been dating for a year & half on there even though they aren't engaged (and aren't going to be anytime soon, his words)?
Granted, I don't like her AT ALL but still, it's so not appropriate. If you can add people later, then why wouldn't you wait?
I don't mean to offend anyone with her age and all but she's 21 dating a 33 year old and is demanding to be on the family tree. Is it me or does it show complete lack of maturity? He's concerned about hurting her feelings. Way to ruin a gift IMO. His justification is that they eat at my parent's house every other week. I told him that doesn't make her his wife.
He wanted me to go in on the gift and I no because I thought it was weird. Everyone I know thinks it's weird. Oh yeah, she also uses his last name on facebook. She changed it after dating for like 2 weeks. I can't even take the high school behavior.
Am I wrong?
I wouldn't even let James in the family picture until we were married. LOL
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Re: Let's just say...
I think that is REALLY weird. BIL was dating the girl he brought to our wedding for like 6mths at the time. I was so glad she didn't try to get into any of the family picutres because they broke up like 5 mths later. It would have been really weird seeing her in the family pictures.
I def. agree that I wouldn't want to go in on the gift if she is forcing him to put her on there. He needs to grow some balls and say no. as you said, she can always be added in later if they do get married.
But yeah hold firm on not including her on the family tree. she is not part of the family.
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Totally weird and borderline psychotic.
Everything you are feeling about this situation seems like a perfectly rational and expected sentiment to me. 21 is too young to be {assume to be} that serious with a grown man IMHO. Can you talk some sense into your brother?
THIS! WTF!?
I would not blame you for not going in on this. I completely agree with your position on this.
Can people be removed from the tree?
That is totally weird. I actually am not surprised by her considering her age (seriously she probably sees it as some kind of sign that he will be proposing soon) but I am surprised your brother at 33 doesn't see it as a bad idea.
I wonder how your parents will feel about that, the gift will sort of be ruined if they broke up.
This girl sounds seriously crazycakes. I agree with Pooks, as a parent, I would kind of weirded out by having her on there. Maybe you can reason with your brother from that angle?
Or how about this - if he puts her on there, she will expect a ring in the future. At this point, can he say he absolutely wants to marry her?
(omg Jess, your sig picture is so freakin cute!!!)
Uhm yes, that's not normal. That's definitely something I would expect from a middle schooler who's infatuated with their "omg new bf!"
I say throat punch her, and tell her she cant be in the family tree, because she's not family. Shes just an arm accessory.
....yeeeah.
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Wives Unscripted
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ETA: The girlfriend is BSC. This is what happens when I'm not paying attention.
Wives Unscripted
unfortunately my brother is confusing our dislike of her with why we are telling him it's not appropriate. i told him that EVENTUALLY she can be added on when it's officially time to do so. the sad part is that my brother is my best friend. he has called me out many times when i have acted stupid in relationships and/or have made not so smart decisions. i told him that because we have always been honest with eachother i felt the need to tell him that this idea is odd and weird.
nevermind that she's rude. she's rude to my whole family including my parents, all of our friends, everyone. all my brother says when someone asks him what her problem is, is 'she's just a b*tch. she doesn't care about anyone or what they think.' who the hell wants to be with someone like that?! my parents know how immature she is but i know for a fact that they would find the gift odd and ruined from the start. i told him the gift is about our parents and not her.
oh yeah. she wants an engraved necklace for christmas with her initials. what initials you ask? what her MARRIED initial would be. LOL i can't believe he doesn't find this crazy??!!
i'm not just saying this because he's my brother and all but he's very cute, very smart and could pretty much get any girl i know. what the hell is he thinking?!?
oh yeah, she flipped out on all our friends when they asked if they were engaged because of her facebook name. ummm, what the hell do you expect people to think?!
oh yeah, her dad and my brother are closer in age than her and my brother. that's all i'm sayin...
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
thank you
xo
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Wow it sounds like he's having some sort of early mid life crisis.
The worst part is not how bad the girlfriend is it's that this will completely ruin your parents gift and he doesn't see that.
Wives Unscripted
I'm sorry, do we know you? Have you hijacked our friend Crows' account so you can post MUD?
The whole situation is just a little too crazy to be believable. I don't know where to begin; but the FB sh!t is Over.The.Top.
(Full disclosure: I'll admit that I *may* have wanted a "promise ring" when I was 17 in high school. But I never wrote my name with his last name, not even in my super-secret, locked personal diary)
Yeah that is all crazy. I would be feeling the exact same way that you are. My cousin and sister have both pulled stuff like this. Wanting to include their boyfriends at the time in something the exclusively family but thank God they got over it.
Granted, when Ben and I were dating, and we knew we would be getting married, I would have felt a little left out of a family tree but would know that was the way it should be. Especially since it can be added on later.
October 11, 2008
Trusty Gal blog|Trusty Tales
I honestly believe that she is ruining the whole point of marriage. She ruining all of the special things that come with once you're married by doing them now.
Drew's grandma has a family tree, and let me tell you, I couldn't wait to get married so that I could be added to the tree. It was something special that came with being married. And considering that most people live together and sleep together before marriage, it's important to find things to make a new marriage special.
I think she's being crazy!!
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thank you everyone for not making me feel like i'm being a biotch. his last text told me that i'm being too opinionated against someone he loves. i told him that's where he was wrong. he doesn't even know that i don't like her so he's completely oblivious. i told him it has nothing to do with HER personally and i would feel the same way if he wanted to put james on there and we weren't married. it sucks because i don't want to fight with him but i know how he gets when he's defense so it'll be interesting. i'm sure she'll be extra b*itchy now. oh well. i always regret later on not saying anything so i'm glad i did. i honestly kept how i feel about her out of it so whatever.
and i completely agree about all the special things that come along with marriage. she's immature so she doesn't even understand that specialness that marriage even IS. she's just some little girl playing house with a guy that truly wants to find happiness.
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
you were 17. that's what 17 year old's do
even writing your first name with his last name on your books is age appropriate. not when you are an adult dating a much older guy.
oh yeah, i forgot. she gave him a promise ring for christmas last year.
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Well, you have your answer as to why she's so childish: she's lying about her age. Your brother should check her ID before he gets locked up by her parents!