Sex & Romance
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So after saving ourselves for marriage my husband and I were excited to have sex. Just one problem... It hurts so bad it makes me cry, every time. That is unless I'm sitting on the couch and he's on his knees. Even then it hurts at first but it's the only position that we can actually continue having sex in. I don't know what to do! Can anyone help me? It's really not helping our marriage and it makes me feel so guilty that I don't even want to have sex because I'm tired of it hurting so much and being stuck in the same spot!! HELP!
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Re: Stuck in one position...
Have you tried lube??
I'm interested to know this as well. A good lubricant can make a huge difference. How long have you been married? Sex shouldn't be painful after your first few times. You might want to ask your gynecologist for some advice and insight and make sure you don't have any infections.
This. The first few times for me were painful. But as soon as I relaxed it was so much better. And grab some lube if you haven't already.
I would try all of these suggestions - taking your time, relaxing as much as possible, lube (not too much or you won't feel a thing) - do you mind if I ask what other positions you've tried? Try being on top - then you control the pace, and how far he is inside you, and if it hurts, you stop right away.
Also - is he using condoms? You could be having an allergic reaction to the material the condom is made from, like latex, as well as the spermicide that may be on it. Does it hurt like a muscle being stretched too far, or more of a burning sensation? If it's burning it could be an allergy, if it's the muscle pain you may need to see your gyno - it's a common problem that can most times be fixed.
If you haven't already, explain to your husband how you feel and be completely honest - tactful, but honest. Maybe he doesn't know how badly it hurts for you, and he most likely has no idea about your guilt unless you've told him. Open communication is what's going to make this situation a heck of a lot easier - it's easy to clam up about something like this, but it's crucial that you speak openly about it. He may be having some feelings you were unaware of as well, like maybe he feels guilty because he thinks he's hurting you, or guilty that what he's doing doesn't feel good for you. Talk to him, I think you'll be surprised!
I've had this problem as well, we've been having sex for over 2 years and it is still very painful for me.
we've tried half a dozen different kinds of lubricant, none of them worked.
The only thing that works for me is to take things very, VERY slowly, there is no magic product that will get me good to go in five minutes...
I agree with the other posters...relax, try foreplay and lubricant. Take things slow and definitely talk to your husband, I'm sure he'll understand and want to help try to make things better...for both of you. Take a long hot bath and relax, maybe have a glass of wine (invite the hubby in to relax too :rawr: haha) then get out, get your foreplay on (all the while, still relaxing...try not to tense up with anticipation as that surely won't help) and take things slowly. I'd recomment doing it the way your comfortable to start then maybe try moving to missionary position, so your body's sort of already ummm stretched, then just go slow.
It takes time for lots of people but it don't worry, it will get better. If I remember, it hurt me for what felt like forever too. You're verrrrry normal
)
If it persists for too much longer though, you may want to call your gyn to see if it worth having a visit for...just to check and make sure there's nothing physically wrong.
Good luck girl, things will get better.
My DH and I both saved ourselves for marriage too, and I agree with what the other ppl posted. I had a lot of pain for the first two months or so of being married also, and this is one thing that MAJORLY helped me. It was already mentioned before, and I don't want to be too graphic, but here it is - after you're all worked up (foreplay) and he's well lubed, you be on top and have your DH enter your body VERY slowly with an in and out rythm until he just slides in all the way. Turns out the H likes this way of penetration as well.
I actually know someone else who has this problem and she has tried everything
my suggestion is to go to the gyno doctor and get checked out because there may be something else going on i know that after my first time it didnt hurt anymore there is such a thing as what is called "infantile genitalia" and it can be serious but the doctor can give you tips on how to fix this issue.