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I'm a jerk.
This morning when I was leaving the subway there was a guy laying spread-eagle on the stairs, looked stiff as a board, with his eyes and mouth hanging open, passed out. I just passed by thinking something like, "I effing hate Baltimore."
As I was recounting the story to a co-worker, he said, "Did you call an ambulance or something?" and I realized I'm one of THOSE city people. The cynical ones that ignore people who need help. It honestly didn't even occur to me. I figured he was on drugs and it happens all the time around here, plus there were a ton of people around and no one seemed concerned, and there's a cop stationed there and he wasn't doing anything. I know that's just excuses, though.
I feel like a terrible person. I swear, though, if I saw someone getting mugged I would call for help!
Re: I'm a jerk.
Laur, to be honest I'm one of those city people also. When I started working in the city I learned quick to keep my head straight ahead, the headphones on & walk fast.
Is it bad I accept your cop excuse? I feel like HE was or should be the guy to do something - maybe he already checked the guy out before you saw him? Or maybe I'm just adding an excuse on top of another...
This reminds me so much of those scenarios on What Would You Do.
09.25.10
I'm sure I have passed people who have needed help and ignored them because I'm walking fast, headphones on, deliberately ignoring people who are asking for change or saying crude things to me. If you even make eye contact, it can cause issues.
This guy I saw, and now I feel guilty. But I DO think the cop is responsible for doing something. The only reason I say it's an excuse is because it's not like I saw the guy and thought, "I don't need to help him because there's a cop" - it's an excuse after-the-fact because I didn't even think about helping him. I just wanted to get quickly past him.
In retrospect, it's fine that I did nothing since there was a cop, but since I didn't even think about it I feel bad, because if there wasn't a cop, I would have done the same thing.
I always think to myself when I hear of something like this, or watch that What Would You Do? show on ABC... would I call someone? In the case you mentioned Laura, I don't think I would, and I don't even live in the city.
I guess maybe you learn to discern more quickly if someone is really in need? I don't know. I would like to think that I would be able to tell and take action, but really, you never know until you are in the situation.
This. I usually pass by the same homeless person for several weeks. And then they move on, and I hope they're ok. But I don't actually do anything.
And the bolded part is known as the bystander effect. Everyone assumes someone will report it. It's one of the only things that stuck with me from my psych classes.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
Late on this, but I don't think you're a jerk for what you did. 99% of people would walk right past the guy like you did. And I agree with you, I think that the cop being there was more of a reason not to do it. But I also think that if something is actually wrong, you get some type of intuition to do something.
When I was a kid we had a neighbor that never talked to anyone. One day she pulls up in front of the house and lays on the horn. I was outside with a friend and our parents were out there. Without knowing anything else about this neighbor, we instantly knew something was wrong. It turned out she had a severe migraine that basically caused her to be delusion and believe the horn was the doorbell of her house because she couldn't find her keys. Maybe it doesn't happen in most cases, but I believe that gut feeling of "something isn't right about this" happens even with people you don't know.
Married / The Cookaholic Wife