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Validate Me (or at least read my gripe)

We had dinner tonight at a small restaurant filled with tables of 2 and 4, spaced only a couple of feet apart.  Halfway through our meal, a party of 4 women was seated next to us (RIGHT next to us).

Several minutes later, one woman (Woman 1) at the table says to her friends, "I'm trying to tell if that girl next to us [nods in my direction] is pregnant or fat."

One person (who happened to be pregnant herself) immediately said, "Pregnant.  Obviously."

Woman 1 then went for a second look at me and noticed that I was staring at her.

Then another person at the table, who hadn't heard the beginning of the conversation, asked what was going on.  Woman 1 leaned over to her and hissed, "I was asking if that girl was pregnant or fat, but I think she heard me."

They both then look over at me again and see that I was staring at them with a mixture of disbelief and stink eye.  They looked away quickly, but I didn't.  Finally, Woman 1 looked back at me with the facial expression of a dog that's been caught chewing up a shoe.

I didn't say anything; I just shook my head and went back to my meal.

My husband said I handled it correctly, because I came off looking relatively classy, leaving her the unquestionable jackass.   But I can't decide if I should've said something like, "37 weeks pregnant.  Thanks for asking."

Would you have said anything?

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Re: Validate Me (or at least read my gripe)

  • Did this happen at a Bob Evans?  If so, I think you'd be totally justified in dropping f'bombs on her.
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    Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
  • Oh, and at 37 weeks pregnant and the end of a meal, I totally would have said something.
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    Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
  • WTF is wrong with people. Clearly you are pregnant.

    I think I would have done the exact same thing as you but I sooo would have wanted to say something bitchy.

  • I think you handled it well. I would have been hard pressed to refrain from stage whispering to my table, "I'm trying to figure out if the woman at that table is blind or just stupid."
    image
  • "I am trying to decide if Women 1 ordered the fish or just has a smelly vag"

  • imagelindsayll:
    Did this happen at a Bob Evans? 

    If it did, I would obviously be too full of ANGER and SHAME to tell you.  So I guess you'll never know!

    image
  • Rage Against the White Meat, Tummy.

    BTW, you look awesome and full o' baby, Ms. 37 Weeks.

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    Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
  • WTf is wrong with people?  I would have said exactly what you said you wished you said, but you handled it very well.  You look so cute and are clearly pregnant.  I want to punch that lady.

    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • I think you did the right thing. But holy hoppin christ on a cracker what is WRONG with people?

    It reminds me of this SNL sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm4ZyfhkU-8

    A palamino!?

    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • You missed your opportunity to lean over and say, "It's a tooom-ah."

    image

    "The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab

    Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
  • That whole thing gives me Cali-face.  WTF?  Looking at your sig pic and I can't even fathom someone thinking you're anything BUT pregnant.  Your belly is magnificent, my friend. 

    Secondly, why would she even be interested in whether someone at another table was fat or not?  I don't spend my time looking around identifying all the fat people.  I don't scan the restaurant saying "Fat, fat, skinny, morbidly obese, that Kelly Clarkson body size that some would say is fat and others would say is curvy, anorexic, wicked fat, pudgy, land manatee, average sized."

    I'm not pregnant, so if I heard her saying that about me I would have been half tempted to say, "If you are curious as to how big of an ass you're making of yourself, just watch mine as I walk away."

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • wtf? what a savage. i hope her friends realized at that moment that they were dining with someone with the sensibilities of a 6 year old who was never taught how to act in public.
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  • reading your post and looking at your sig pic is cracking me up.  What kind of fat person has tiny arms and legs, and a belly bump that defies gravity?  You were much nicer about that than I would have been.
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    Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
    www.focushunting.com
  • What an idoit. I would have said something. You handled it with way more class than I could have mustered. What a b!tch.
  • I think you handled it right. I would have done the same, partly to look super classy compared to her stupid ass and partly because idiocy like that often leaves me speechless. Whodathunkit, right?
  • I give you much credit for not flipping the fvck out on her, holy hell, I'm seeing red just reading this.
    Sorry that happened to you, button. What an idiot!
  • While you would have been completely justified in taking her to school, the way you handled it was so much better.  She probably spent the whole night feeling like a douche, and if you had told her off, she probably would have felt all defensive and tried to justify her cattiness with a big dose of "well she was a *** to me."  You did not give her any excuse to feel anything but ashamed. 
    image
    3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
    Lordy. Grow some balls and stop lurking. It's like stealing from the internet. Jesuschrist. -- AudreyHorne
    I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
    It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
  • Groomz is wise but I would've been tempted to say "At least pregnancy is temporary, you're stuck with your stupid biitchiness forever." Or, I would've thought that as I cried into my dessert. Either way, I admire how you were able to keep your cool.
    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • Dude, what is wrong with people?  Believe me, I do my share of talking about people behind their backs, but not when I'm like a foot away from them. 

    I would have said something.  I like Fallin's suggestion.

    image Mabel the Loser.
  • imageNovemberrocks:

    Dude, what is wrong with people?  Believe me, I do my share of talking about people behind their backs, but not when I'm like a foot away from them. 

    This. It would never even occur to me to ask that question though. I don't really care if a random stranger is fat or pregnant. 


    image
  • imagebuddhagouda:
    imageNovemberrocks:

    Dude, what is wrong with people?  Believe me, I do my share of talking about people behind their backs, but not when I'm like a foot away from them. 

    This. It would never even occur to me to ask that question though. I don't really care if a random stranger is fat or pregnant. 


    Lorne and I play "spot the bad plastic surgery" when we're at baseball games and such, but never within earshot of the person whose nose is sliding off their face. But yeah, "Is she pregnant or fat" is a game that holds very little interest for me. You handled it very well. I would have been tempted to say something too, but I don't know if I would have been able to form a coherent thought through the anger.

    image

  • We play spot the bad plastic surgery too, and I'm not above a "is that person male or female" conversation either. We just have enough sense to not do it remotely within earshot.

    If you really have to ask that badly, text it. (Not that I have ever done that...nope definitely not)

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  • imagebuddhagouda:

    We play spot the bad plastic surgery too, and I'm not above a "is that person male or female" conversation either. We just have enough sense to not do it remotely within earshot.

    If you really have to ask that badly, text it. (Not that I have ever done that...nope definitely not)

    We play this one as well, but I am very stealth about shiit talking. Catty as I can be, I don't want to hurt feelings. 

    I also like Fallin's suggestion. People are idiots. Especially regarding pregnant women.  Because you are in a state where gaining weight is mandatory,  it appears that to most of the population feels compelled to comment on that weight. Besides, you are clearly pregnant and she is clearly has a whorish mouth.

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    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
  • I'm still kind of baffled by the whole event, but it's not the end of the world.  I will go back to dealing with the "please don't give birth on my bus" stares that I now get from my bus drivers during the work week; those are much more understandable.

    image
  • I will often have a 'fat or pregnant' debate in my head on the train in deciding whether or not to give up my seat for the person.  It's tricky because you definitely want to give your seat to a pregnant lady, but you don't want to offend a fat one.  But that's really the only place it applies. 

    That said, I don't know how anyone could mistake you for anything other than very, very pregnant, HT.   

    image Mabel the Loser.
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