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Gifted home & remodeled for inlaws-nightmare
So my husband got a house for his older sibling, we moved in & remodeled it from scratch boy did it need work his sib just paid for a few supplies my husband did most of everything else including labor. Then after a yr we got a house in the city for us. In moving we where not able to get all our things, then shortly after we moved his siblings inlaws moved in trashed it out & instead of notifying us to come get out things they crammed it in my husbands recreational vehicle next door & left a few of our things out that could get dammaged from weatherization.
My thoughts? They where probably mad because my husband isnt around for them to take advantage of & denied his sib partners in his new buisness (good for him). To top it all off without saying anything about us getting our stuff sib's inlaws drove hour away to borrow something from us. Sib has a SUV my husband helped fix & another SUV he gave him awhile back they have access to a trailor & we could have paid for gas yet didnt offer forgetting about all the times my husband dropped everything to help them.
We even offered to rebuy the house when sib didnt honor the previous agreement of giving us the house they where in to remodel for there parents it too is trashed, I think counting our blessings that we didnt get more involved would be good. Today my husband went to get our Xmas decorations things the kids made priceless, he is going to have to wade thru & get stuff as well as dismantel & repack everything left outside.
*shrug,
My thing is I dont understand how some people can be so unapprecaitive yet still ask for more? For Xmas dinner at the inlaws we got his parents a nice gift, usually his sib gives us a card & a $5 gift for our kid & we go all out for all 4 of there kids this yr Im not making scarves & there kids are just getting a nice family game, I know its not the kids fault, its the same thing for all the other holidays last Easter we got them all easter stuff to go along with Grandparents gifts, for birthdays thier kids get pricey gifts from us yet like every yr they will not even show up to my daughters b-day & have fun, its not about the gifts its like the more we give the less appreciative they are & they expect more. I really hate being that way, & I hate more that my loving husband is beginning to see the light. Other than when we are not gifting or helping we never hear from them unless if they want something
*shrug
Phone is straight to voicemail no more, they could of at least called to say congrats that the new baby is healthy knowing we where worried from complications & constant testing we have our own problems, or called & asked how our day was going its the little things that count not the fancy gifts. Seriously sorry for the rant, it takes alot for me to say something.
Well seeing them twice a yr will help.
Re: Gifted home & remodeled for inlaws-nightmare
I had a really hard time reading that... and I'm not really sure about the details of what went on. But from what I gather, you feel like you've done a lot for your in laws and in turn they don't return the favor, or show you the level of respect you feel you deserve. Am I correct?
Bottom line: unless there's contracts involved, your good deeds to not entitle you to anything. Don't do anything for them with the expectation of getting anything (-even respect-) in return.
Oh sorry I was upset, correction damaged from lack of weather proofing. Its just we where remodeling it for them then they where supposed to help us remodel the home they where in for there parents so there parents could sell there other home. They made sure they got the title Ill put it that way.
I do see your point never again, I just didnt think people did that? Especially when it was for there parents initially, there parents arent happy with what they did. Its pretty bad when their kids ask everyone for expensive things its like there kids are becoming like them.
We really dont expect anything back cause we did everything because we care, its just the selfishness. Who is losing out there parents, they where on the verge of bankruptcy had to sell most assets, when we did this. Hoping that his sib could move out of the other home that there parents paid for & are letting sib stay there. Its the gesture...
Oye.
The moral to the story is:
DO NOT do business for friends and relatives and do not do business with either.
And UGH: it's WERE, not WHERE.
We WERE on our way to the movies
and
We don't know WHERE the theatre is.
Where the heck did you go to school and were there any lessons in English taught at all?????
However, I will say this:
Because it works for them. They keep getting their way and no one says "boo", so.... they keep acting like this.~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Lesson Number Two: SAY NO to certain people...that includes your relatives that use you and walk all over you.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
How much money did you loose in this "favor"? I don't get how it made any sense to buy someone else a house, remodel it and the leave your stuff behind to get misused.
When I was in college, I left my dishes, pots and pans with my roommates when I went abroad for a semester. I supplied the apartment with the kitchen essentials and thought I was doing them a favor by leaving them to use, pack-up and return for senior year (and they ASKED to borrow everything). I consider it a CHEAP lesson to learn that other people don't care for your stuff the way that you do. For years, it burned me up that they lost and broke so much without a care.
You learned a lesson, too. But I'm not sure you're willing to accept it. There still seems to be a huge lack of insight into your post that screams that you are going to keep falling for this. Maybe its the multiple shrugs, but you seem utterly mystified that user use people. And you got used.
I mean, who gives someone a house?
It was an auction house, materials came from a good friends lumber co.
I understand, I did apologize for it not being as readable as I thought.
AS far as education its funny you said that, about 4yrs ago as my luck would have it while applying for grad school I was in an accident that rendered me disabled to the point of relearning basically everything. I qualified for the total disability discharge keeping me from paying back the 60,000 in student loans.
I did try to go back to finish those last 30 hrs & callapsed, when I do go back the office of disbilities will pay for it it will be awhile maybe 6hrs a semester. keep trying give me that. Since then
I was fortunate to be able to keep my job Im very thankful that Im not in a wheel chair drooling on myself. Ayhow no harm, my manners are mild. If I post anything else I will try my best to keep simple & readable.
Yes we did stop giving a yr ago, seen them once at a family gathering.
I was just upset maybe disappointed that they sat back watching there parents struggle.
We helped the parents with a few medical bills. I just dont like the idea of grown adults taking advantage of thier parents not being able to say anything about it.
The parents I think are making them fix up the house, & the other house his siblings inlaws moved out & stuck them with the bills & cleaning up the mess, Kharma is no fun, at least they know how the parents feel.
I just couldnt understand it.
I understand your frustration, its hard to help people when others around them are grabby. Also in posting to this site be aware for some reason some of the women on here feel obligated to show how educated they are with arrogance. Truly educated people do not put others down for not being so, keep plugging away at your studies & dont get discouraged. I didnt have a hard time reading it was just a little confusing with the who but Im not going to rehash, quote, or put you down in the process. There are better ways to prove a point without being overly critical. People that are overly critical usually have to much time on their hands. Best of Luck, Im sure your husbands parents really apprecaite the help.
This. Don't give them another damn thing.
I agree, its been almost a year & since then we havent. I think they use their kids to get things from people, sad to say. The parents didnt want to kick them out with the grandkids, I guess we thought if they had a place to go to that they would give the parents the house back.
The parents had to sell most of thier assets & still talk of selling where they are to move into that preoperty, to do so remains to be seen. As for the medical bills did you know in some states even if you pay $80 a month on it, you can still be sued. The hospital sued them then had their checks docked, they didnt even recieve papers. Their perfect credit is no more because of the moms airlift to the hospital, & the dad has heart problems.
I know his parents have been there for us we always pay each other back, just wish his older sib had the same respect. They just got thier head above water, I can really understand loosing everything because of medical issues its really sad. As for the older sib their really is no excuse.
I think what maybe best is to continue what we are doing and not put ourselves in the being used position I wish we would have dealt more directly with the parents. I think maybe the family was in denial and are beginning to see, it is sad when you actually care about people & they take advantage of that. Thanks so much for your input.
See, this is the danger of harping on grammar and spelling to the exclusion of compassion - you end up looking foolish and unsympathetic. OP responded that she was in an accident that rendered her disabled, and your foot-in-mouth experience is now immortalized for our enjoyment.
I am the last one here who would do that.
And the OP mentioned her troubles after I posted the above. So foot in mouth? Not quite..