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Niece going back to her cheater!ughhh
 Joined on 12-03-2010
15 Points
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Ugg- niece going back to her cheaterI just need to vent. My niece's husband left her in early October for her best friend. He let out of the blue and left her with 3 kids( 2 of which were his with his first wife who passed away- and was actually related to my niece- long story). Anyhow Halloween night he came and took his 2 kids and told her she would not get them back. Fast forward to last week when he decided out of the blue to let her see the kids. He was acting really nice and trying to kiss her etc. She told me she wanted nothing to do with him, etc. Today was the court hearing for her to try to get custody. I have not heard anything from her yet so I called my sister( Her aunt). Seems that they are thinking of getting back together!
This guy has cheated on her at least 4 times. Her own father put her mom through this. She has seen what it does to kids- but is going to do the same thing. I am not supposed to know yet, I was told to wait till she calls me. I am so flipping annoyed right now. I don't trust her, she poured her heart out to me about this. Deep down inside I thought for sure she was done with him- I mean he brought her friend to their house while she was at work and had sex in their bed!
I know this is nothing about me- I just really don't know if I want to talk to her right now- pretty upset about it all! The kids will have been put through the ringer all because of this! So- how would you handle it?? I am just going to tell her I can not support her decision and leave it at that- my other sister( her mom) is really pissed off right now- seeing as how she has been through it as a mom and knows what it does.
Thanks for letting me vent! |
Re: Niece going back to her cheater!ughhh
She can't adopt the kids. Legally, then, she's *just* a step parent.
He's not responsible and imagine how terrifying that must have been for them. She should rethink her H, just based on that. How many more of these scenes is he going to pull??
She needs to get tested and he needs to be thrown out. What a sad situation.
I have never heard of a stepmother adopting her H's kids -- it isn't done, to my estimation.
Perhaps you mean he moves to have you become their legal parent -- in which case, that's another story --
What are you talking about? Of course she could adopt the kids. Any time one of a child's bio parent is deceased, or has had parental rights revoked, or surrendered parental rights, a stepparent can adopt the kid. I've seen this happen IRL twice. In fact, in one case it was kind of F*ed up because this guy adopted his wife's kids. Then he left her for some other woman, but he still had to pay child support and was still their dad because he had adopted them.
And BTW, when someone's parental rights are removed that is completely different than if they don't have custody or have had children removed by CWS or DCF or whatever. Removal of parental rights means that they are no longer the child's parent in any legal sense whatsoever.
yeah she's right...adopting step kids when bio-mom or bio-dad is no longer their legal guardian is pretty common.
I have two different friends that married women who were pregnant with some random guy's baby at the time, and they both adopted the kids and raised them as their own with no interaction from the "donor." In fact both of these couples got divorced, and both men were awarded custody of their kids (one mommy was a drug-wh0re and the other was on active duty in the military and chose to give up custody) and raised them as single fathers with hardly any parental interaction from the moms. Both of my friends' children are adults now, and still, neither of them has much, if any, contact at all with their birth moms. Both of my friends are remarried.
As for your niece it stinks that you can't really do anything about her decision. You can voice your opinion or concern - if asked for it - but it doesn't mean she'll take it to heart. Some people are just gluttons for punishment.