Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
vent, pw
I know this is totally futile and I'm probably being a baby, but I have to vent about this.
About a month (maybe more) ago my BIL brought up the idea of us all spending New Years together in Big Bear. My MIL's cousin owns a cabin in Big Bear and it's "first come, first serve", and we get to use it for free. So we all decided that we would do that, figured it would be a nice getaway.
I kept asking "is there really enough room for all of us? it must be a big cabin!" and was being assured by my H & BIL that it's big enough. Well silly me for not asking the right question. It's a 2 bedroom cabin with a loft. Guess who gets the loft?
Last night we were having dinner with my IL's and my MIL says (btw she's saying this to ME, we're all at the table, but she's looking at ME), so she says "Well, B/SIL have to have a bedroom because they have the babies, and we're taking the other bedroom, so you guys are in the loft." Just, the way she said it was like... you guys aren't as important so you get the shaft.
I mean, I get it. My B/SIL have a toddler and a baby so they need a bedroom, but that also means that Ted & I are going to be up at the butt-crack-of-dawn when the kids are, and that pisses me off. We don't have kids. It's a choice, and one that doesn't make us less important then anyone else. Plus we won't have a private bathroom, or any privacy really, so that means all dressing will have to be done, where??? Ugh. I know I'm being a baby, but I feel slightly mislead about the situation and I'm realizing it won't be as fun as I had hoped.
Some of you know that we haven't gotten along with my BIL in the past. Things are better now, but not great. We aren't all buddy-buddy with him/them, but we do get along for the most part now. My BIL doesn't drink (he's an alcoholic) and I know he's going to be freaking out when the rest of us are all drinking around the kids.
I guess one of the reasons this is making me so upset is because my IL's have never treated Ted & I different for not having kids right now - until a couple weeks ago. Right before Thanksgiving they totally pulled a "they have kids & you don't, so you don't have anything important going on" thing with us. It really surprised me, and I don't even know if they consciously knew what they were doing, but Ted & I both saw it and were pissed. We should have said something then, but it was literally the night before Thanksgiving and we didn't want there to be any tension or weirdness.
/vent over.
Guiltless chocolate cake to all who made it through that!
Re: vent, pw
Urgh. I feel your pain. Over the summer DH and I stayed in a cabin with my mom and her BF, only it was a one bedroom cabin with a loft. Yeah, DH and I got stuck in the loft in twin beds. We got woken up every time one of the dogs farted or walked around, or someone got up to use the bathroom. AAAAAAND our beds were right over the bathroom, and the floor was made out of logs, and the cracks between the logs weren't sealed....so we could hear EVERYTHING when someone went to the bathroom. It was lovely.
I hope your experience is better
{Blog: Adventures of AlaskanAlison}
Ugh. I'm so sorry and I think you have every right to be annoyed/upset. I'm the third youngest of four kids. Both older sisters have been married for 15+ years (I was a late bloomer, they are only 4 years older than me). But I cannot tell you how freaking annoying it is that every holiday it is assumed that my brother and I will sleep on the couch in the living room, on the floor of the playroom, etc. I have been given the excuse that it's because they have kids - well, I'm cool with sleeping with the kids if I am not in the middle of the freaking living room (my entire family always stays at the same house, not at a hotel).
DH came to meet my family for the first time over Xmas five years ago - and stayed the night. I had to threaten to go to a hotel when he came because my one sister thought it was perfectly fine for the two of us to sleep, in public, in the playroom, while she was upstairs in a bedroom with a door. At the time, she had been MARRIED to my BIL for over 11 years - but yeah, they needed the privacy, whereas my new boyfriend, who was a stranger to everyone in the house but me, should sleep in the room off the kitchen.
I still get irked by this - much of it is because I was single for so long while they got married, had kids, etc. It's just frustrating that they (well, really the one sister in particular, who has been married FOREVER) don't realize that maybe things should change and now that we're the newlyweds, they can sleep in the public spaces.
Wow - sorry for totally hijacking your vent!
This wouldn't bother me but I'm not picky about where I sleep.
DH's family has a cabin as well. I've never been. They used to try to convince me but finally gave up. From what I gather, it's a big open room AND has an outhouse. But no worries, the outhouse has a his and hers toilet. Ummm, yeah no thanks.
Now, spending New Year's with my IL's and children in a cabin does not sound like my idea of good time so I definitely see your hesitation there. Maybe you can still get out of it!
I'm really not usually picky about where I sleep either, I'm just being a baby about this I think.