Family Matters
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another IL family story

So we went out last night with DH's fam. for his mom's birthday. It was pleasant and good and who can't resist a free meal!? Smile When finished we all kinda lingered outside the restaurant before heading to our cars. 

Before we separate, MIL and SIL's start to talk about a cousin's 4 year old and how they were telling her to say things (because it was funny to them...not necessarily to the mom of the child) And they said they were joking around with the mom of the 4 year old and wanted to teach her to say "aunt pam a b****" (MIL's SIL)...now, of course they didn't but they all, including MIL thought it was hilarious. Then they proceed to say to me, when are you guys going to have kids, we have to stop burdening "M" (mother of 4 year old) with teaching her kid things...we need more little ones in the family so "M" doesn't have to always be the one to deal with our antics.

I said to check with me in 3-4 years...

but I told my husband about it and i said that I really hoped his sisters grow out of the "teaching kids to say stuff" phase by the time we have children and that are old enough to talk because I see "M"s face when they do this and you know she isn't pleased because unlike SIL's, "M" has to deal with this for weeks.

You know it's really not a concern now since we don't have kids right now, but sometimes I wonder how I would address this in the case it ever did happen when we do have children. And maybe it really isn't a big deal...I really don't know since we don't have kids and don't actually know a lot about them except that they repeat what they hear. 

Re: another IL family story

  • I think it's a 'what goes around comes around' type of thing. Depending what kind of parent you are, you might let it roll off your back, or find it bordering heathenism. 

    I find kids have a tendency to say the darnedest things. Like the time when my cousin kept telling my then 2 y/o to say 'auntie V (her sister) has a fat butt.' He said it in front of everyone at a family gathering. I was horrified, cousin was cackling, and he knew he must have said something naughty. He pointed to cousin and said, 'the lady with the hairy face told me to say it!'

    Karma. She can be a real b!tch.  

     

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  • imageBookMaven:

    I think it's a 'what goes around comes around' type of thing. Depending what kind of parent you are, you might let it roll off your back, or find it bordering heathenism. 

    I find kids have a tendency to say the darnedest things. Like the time when my cousin kept telling my then 2 y/o to say 'auntie V (her sister) has a fat butt.' He said it in front of everyone at a family gathering. I was horrified, cousin was cackling, and he knew he must have said something naughty. He pointed to cousin and said, 'the lady with the hairy face told me to say it!'

    Karma. She can be a real b!tch.  

     

    haha...what a great story..i suppose you are right...about the karma thing. thanks for sharing!

  • Kids do repeat what they hear and if your kids go to day care or school saying stuff like that you will be the ones the teacher contacts about their "concerns" regarding what is going on at home.   And imagine a child's confusion when their aunt has taught them to call people names like it's funny and then they get in trouble at school for calling the teacher the same name. 

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  • imagemysticl:

    Kids do repeat what they hear and if your kids go to day care or school saying stuff like that you will be the ones the teacher contacts about their "concerns" regarding what is going on at home.   And imagine a child's confusion when their aunt has taught them to call people names like it's funny and then they get in trouble at school for calling the teacher the same name. 

    I agree. Although I don't have kids yet...this is part of the concern..and not even for myself but even for "M" who I mentioned has the little 4 year old. My SIL's seem to fail in their understanding of this potential issue, which is pretty interesting to me since one works in a preschool as an assistant.  Like I said, I don't have kids yet, but you know it's happened enough with my SIL's that I've started to think how I may have to deal with it in the future

  • My reply to MIL would be "why do you need more kids in the family?  Your daughters have apparently never grown up."
  • imageSueBear:
    My reply to MIL would be "why do you need more kids in the family?  Your daughters have apparently never grown up."
    Now THAT is a good comeback!!!!! :)
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  • imageBookMaven:

    I think it's a 'what goes around comes around' type of thing. Depending what kind of parent you are, you might let it roll off your back, or find it bordering heathenism. 

    I find kids have a tendency to say the darnedest things. Like the time when my cousin kept telling my then 2 y/o to say 'auntie V (her sister) has a fat butt.' He said it in front of everyone at a family gathering. I was horrified, cousin was cackling, and he knew he must have said something naughty. He pointed to cousin and said, 'the lady with the hairy face told me to say it!'

    Karma. She can be a real b!tch.  

     

    I had to LOL at this one, and you're right about karma. My 22 year old cousin was hilarious when he was 3. He didn't swear but he called my friend "the girl with the fat legs" and my sister's freind was "lobster face" because of her sun burn.

    A boy I used to baby sit copied everything we said.  I'll never forget my friend & I were taking him for a walk when a kid in our class started messing with us.  My friend said "shut up, schitt head!" to the kid in our class, and of course our little 3 year old charge started laughing and constantly saying "shut up schitt head, shut up schitt head, hahaha."  I was mortified because his mom was on her way home by then and we had to keep telling him it was a bad word and to stop saying it.

    Kids do repeat what they hear and although I have to admit sometimes I do tend to find it amusing when a little kid says something un-kid like (such as repeating dad saying "you're full of schitt") I try my best not to laugh or at least not to let them see me  laugh because then they think it's OK. 

    OP, I can't believe your ILs think it's funny to teach little kids to say things like that!! WTH is wrong with these people??

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  • I would say to the adults, "Stop that. We don't use those words and we don't teach children to say mean things about other people." 

    "M's" face aside, I think its ridiculous she doesn't take charge of inappropriate things being taught to her child in her presents.

    It's really that simple. I don't know why you imagine it to be more complicated.

  • imagefestivegal2008:
    imageSueBear:
    My reply to MIL would be "why do you need more kids in the family?  Your daughters have apparently never grown up."
    Now THAT is a good comeback!!!!! :)

     

    agree. haha

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