April 2010 Weddings
dasmel30
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Christmas Card Etiquette?
My MOH is pregnant and due in April (a few days before our anniversary). I'm so happy for her! They found out last week that they are having a girl.
Well today in the mail I received a photo Christmas card with the ultrasound picture and the announcement that it is a girl. To me, it seems a little tacky. I get that they are excited but what if I was having trouble TTC or what if I recently had a miscarriage?
What's your ladies' view on the appropriateness of this?
~Melissa~
Shmel's Blog
Shmel's Blog
Re: Christmas Card Etiquette?
Personally, I think the announcement and Christmas card should have been separate.But I don't think it is tacky to send an announcement (but don't most people send the announcement after the baby is here, or is that just in my circle?)
If she knew you (or anyone she sent one to) had, had a miscarriage or were having trouble TTC, and still sent one then that would be inconsiderate. (in my opinion)
That's weird. I see people post u/s pics on FB all the time, but never in a Christmas card. I wouldn't be offended though unless the couple knew I was having problems TTC or had a miscarriage, because otherwise how would they know it was offensive?
And I get that they are excited, but to me, that's a little creepy and tacky. No one needs to see a picture of my uterus in their mail just because it holds a baby.
Eh, I guess I have mixed feelings on that one.
I see where you are coming from in the event of a friend or relative who can't have kids, and not wanting to seem like they're rubbing it in....plus seeing a picture of an ultrasound fetus on a Christmas card in general is a little out-of-the-ordinary.
But, at the same time, I'm sure they're going to continue sending photo cards of their daughter, or all of them as a family in the years to come. So they are probably going off the basis that since that they have a family on the way, now was the time to start.
Okay first of all I think ultrasound photos should be banned from public display -- this includes facebook, Christmas cards, etc. Baby pictures are one thing, an x-ray of your uterus with what looks like a blob to most of us is just kinda odd.
[sorry - just found out a friend was expecting due to u/s photo as new profile pic on fb so maybe I'm a little sensitive to this right now]
That said, I don't think the announcement w/ Christmas card is necessarily insensitive or tacky in itself. Hey times are tough, might as well save the stamp! I mean people sometimes do STDs combined with a Happy Holidays card if the timing is right, so I see this as the same kind of thing.
This exactly...I totally understand a couple's excitement, but to send what is essentially a medical picture in a Holiday card??? I stop short of calling it "tacky", because to each his own, but I will say that I would not care to receive a Christmas card of an unborn baby in the womb. It just seems a tad...too personal for me.
I would most surely think that the Christmas card should revolve around the Holiday. Then, perhaps, a cute birth announcement with pretty girlie things to announce their new daughter once she joins the family :-)
Well, I'm probably the only one on this board that is officially having difficulties TTC. It does tear you up to hear pregnancy announcements, etc. because you get torn between jealous and feeling guilty for being jealous. But, I don't think that people shouldn't stop announcing pregnancies, births etc. just in case it upsets someone, as long as they do it tactfully. Heck, I'm sure each of us had someone in our lives who got jealous/upset when we announced our engagements, even if they didn't show it.
That being said, I'm not sure what to think about this. I can see having a cute "bump" picture or something like "happy holidays from Mr. X, Mrs. X, and Baby Girl X arriving in April" as being kind of cute, and would probably do that myself, but an ultrasound picture is a bit extreme and AWish. It's not like you can really make out any of the baby's features in it anyway.
TTC #1 since 4/10, Dx: MFI IVF planned for April/May
Too funny and very true!
I agree that you're supposed to sent the announcements after the baby is born. I would be so worried that I would somehow jinx the pregnancy by sending out the ultrasound pictures. It's a little attention seeking IMHO
I really don't want a picture of someone's uterus on a christmas card. Can't they just wait till the baby is born and send out an adorable announcement? Kinda weird...I think....
Now this is something that would have been so darn cute and much more appropriate.
Just to clear up a few things in my OP, I'm not saying that they should completely disregard making an announcement. I just don't think that an U/S pic in a Christmas card is the best way to go.
Shmel's Blog
I don't think it's appropriate to sent ultrasound pictures in your christmas card, but I like the idea of announcing that your pregnant or the gender in the christmas card (maybe with a pink bow or something).
Post-Wedding Life Blog!
A10 Siggy Challenge: Next Vacation Destination: San Francisco!
Ahahaha!
I am kind of in the middle on this too. I think there was probably a better way to share the news like PP said.
It is so hard on this topic because they are excited, but yet, I think they do need to be sensitive.
Danielle
Lots of baby wishes and prayers for you Lori, that your time will come real, REAL soon!!!!
It's definitely a sensitive issue to some people, and I agree that some react differently than others to broadcasted news, such as an ultrasound photo or an engagement announcement.
I have a friend who waited for the right time to tell her BFF privately before announcing publicly that she was pregnant because BFF had been trying for years before finding out medically that it would take a miracle. I had another friend tell me that she was boycotting attending baby showers for her friends and family because she couldn't have children herself. At first I found her inability to be happy for her loved ones to be a bit selfish, but I still stuck by her decision because I knew how much having a child meant to her. She is ok with things now; it strengthened her relationship with a man who has a child and can't have any more.
DITTO! XOXOX
I like the bump pic idea a lot for a Christmas card. I am not against seeing peoples ultra sounds, however I never know what I am looking at, and it is not something I want on a Christmas card (though I will not judge them for putting it on there). I do normally put all the cards up on the mantel, and it would be a bit strange to be seeing that every day.
Another DITTO here!
Shmel's Blog
Count me in this, too!
Me also!!! You both are in my thoughts and prayers :-))
TTC #1 since 4/10, Dx: MFI IVF planned for April/May
I think doing this would be a little odd!! Its exciteing news but not right for a christmas card. I could see if maybe that was their way of announcing it but even then that still might be a little wired.
I can see posting pics on a social wevsite but not on a holiday card. Now if they would of have like a maternity pic of the couple on their card i would see that as different but not a ultrasound pic.
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