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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Thank You Note Procrasination
Alright it is confession time!
Here it is 4 months later and I still have not written the thank you notes for my bridal sower and wedding.Every time I even think about them I get anxious given that I have terrible hand writing.When I write the same thing over and over again sometimes I start writing the wrong letters then I have to throw out the piece of paper (or thank you card) and I get terribly frustrated.The anticipation of this frustration is what as impeded me from even starting.This definitely does reflect poorly upon me.
Re: Thank You Note Procrasination
Bottom line, yes it does look bad. Get them done. No one is going to say, "Well, I don't feel thanked because the handwriting is bad."
Here are some tips:
1) If your husband's handwriting is any better, make him help.
2) Pre-print address labels/return lables on your computer.
3) If it will help with the anxiety, before you begin, pre-write three or four thank-you messages, and alternate using them. For example, #1: "We were so happy to see you at our wedding - thanks for coming. Thank you also for the _____________. We'll be sure to put it to good use!" (Signature.) #2: "Thank you so much for being part of our special day. We love the ________________ you gave us. Don't be surprised to see it in use next time you see us." (................. etc. You get the point.)
4) Do five at a time and take a break. Normally I'd say five a day, but time is critical. Aim at ten a day... just take a break and do five in one sitting, twice a day.
Good luck.
Just do them it doesn't matter if your hand writting is bad. You do the shower ones, and get your husband to do his side of guests for the wedding ones (there is no reason you should be doing them all yourself).
And they can be all the same if you aren't very creative "Thanks for sharing in our special day. The *gift* you gave us will come in very handy, thank you!"
My handwriting is atrocious and I managed. There are Internet sites that can give you a basic outline if you're unable to come up with ideas.
You need to get this done. We went to a wedding for my husband's friend in September and still haven't gotten a thank you note even though the bride isn't working, isn't going to school, doesn't have children and hasn't had any major crisis come up. She told my husband that she just doesn't feel like doing it. That absolutely reflects poorly on her and will make me think twice before attending any celebration of hers again. (Yes, I am a thank-you note fuddy duddy).
YES. It looks ridiculously bad. Your hand writing is not an excuse for being lazy.
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
You are not writing a pulitzer-prize winning novel, you're just writing TY notes!
People will not remember your sloppy handwriting or even a very plain note. They WILL remember that you never sent your TYs, or that you wrote a note that could be sent to anyone (so say "thank you for the china set" not "thank you for the gift.").
If it makes you feel better, send a wallet sized wedding photo, then people will think that you were late b/c you were waiting for the photographer.
Handle notes maybe 5 per day. Save your immediate family (mom, dad, sis) for last. They'll understand, while your nosy aunt Rita will not.
Well I have just started doing my thank you cards and have already thrown out three error ridden cards.
Wish me luck that my patience with myself not be lost!
I will join you in your confession. Guilty as charged on this one. I have no excuses to offer - I'm just lazy. I was married in April and I just finished writing my thank you notes and will be sending them today.
Okay, I lied...I will give one pitiful excuse and that is that my family does not care that much about thank you notes. They're not sent for many occassions and we generally thank people verbally. I was home for Thanksgiving and kept apologizing to my aunts for not sending them, but they brushed it off and said no one cares. And they're definitely the kind of aunts who will tell you directly when they're mad at you.
Still, clearly I'm in the wrong for not sending them because while my family doesn't care, I'll bet my ILs are huffing and puffing at their mailboxes at this very moment.
Another thing you can try -- work on groups of people rather than starting at the top of the list. For example, complete all of your mom's side then move on to the next group (maybe all of your dad's side). When you have a group completed, stamp them and put them in the mail. The list of thank yous will feel much more managable as you mail out each group. Chances are the groups do not mingle so no one will be able to compare when they received their thank you card.
As a PP mentioned, leave your immediate family and close friends for last. They will be the most understanding. Good luck and get going! You can do it.
However bad your handwriting looks, it does not look nearly as bad as not sending the thank yous out.
You really need to get this done and there is no good excuse.
I am going through a similar situation myself, except I initially sent all my thank-yous out right after the wedding.
My problem is that while I was doing a second batch of the cards, we moved and I still can't find where they went! I have been so busy and stressed out that I don't even remember if I sent them out or if they are packed with the paper I used to make them with...I have no way of telling!
What I am going to do is this:
First, print off a list of my 2nd batch thank-yous and make new cards and then write a post-it for each one stating that we moved and I'm sorry they're late and I couldn't remember if they had gone out or not, etc.
In your case, you could do something similar -- like add a specialized letter to each one noting that you had completed them much earlier and misplaced them, etc. I don't think anyone would be offended (even though you clearly didn't really misplaced them, but how would they know?). Another thought is to have them made by a printing company and say you were having issues with them printing them if anyone asks.
Also, in terms of wedding-related ettiquette, guests have up to one (1) year to give you a gift without it being considered rude, so why can't that also apply to you thanking them? I spoke to a friend of mine that works in the ettiquette business and she also agreed, especially in this day and age, and said that most people say they should go out right away because you're more likely to forget about them until it's really, really too late.
But, as always, better late than never...
Ummm...no. Look, it is just rude. That's the bottom line.
Someone took their hard-earned cash and spent some amount of time and attention on buying you a gift, wrapping the gift, and writing you a card. They often also took the time and paid the costs required to attend your wedding, although not in every case. The fact that you think you need a year to write two or three sentences in a card is pathetic. Buy a book of stamps, buy preprinted thank you cards if you like, and write three lines. There is just no excuse, and they should be done as soon as you get the gift. Certainly within two weeks, IMO.